TANcast

This week’s episode is all YOUR fault because it’s all listener suggested topics: School chums named Erin, nipple bleeding, dream cars, upcoming movies, how the boys came to live at the TANhouse, top 5 favorite songs of the TANboys, phobias, weight loss, and doing DP with your wife.

[CONTENT WARNING] TANcast features mature language and immature hosts but is NOT a representation of the stand up act of Tim Babb. Listener discretion is advised.
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So I was at church on Christmas eve, and the priest was talking about the Innkeeper from the Biblical Nativity story.

For those of you who aren’t aware, here’s the back story. Mary is pregnant with Jesus. She and her husband, Joseph, are traveling and trying to find a place to stay. I’m not sure why they didn’t head for a hospital since she was due to have the kid any minute…I guess their Obama-care hadn’t kicked in yet do so they were still with Kaiser. And we all know Kaiser’s plan for child birth, “Figure it out yourself fuckhole, it’s $90 a month…you don’t pay us enough to care.”

So Mary and Joseph happen upon an inn. They go ring the bell, or whatever they did to get the innkeeper’s attention in those days and they explain their situation and the innkeeper says, “There’s no room at the inn…you can stay in the barn though.”

Instantly he’s vilified as the bastard who couldn’t help out a pregnant lady. I think someone should come to this dude’s defense. So here are 5 reasons the Innkeeper is not a douchebag. Read the rest of this entry »

We’ve been doing TANcast for a while, so I think I can finally get something I posted to a private MySpace profile out in the open without being judged unfairly.

It is simply this:

I hate black people.

There! I’ve been wanting to say that out loud for a while now.

To be clear, there aren’t all that many that I hate and they certainly are not as numerous as the white people I hate (those fuckers are legion), so here’s wishing all the black people I don’t hate a festive Kwanzaa and a Happy New Year.

PS: See what I did up there? I used ambiguous language to have some fun. Ain’t I a stinker?

PPS: I’d just like to remind everyone that the best way to spot a counterfeit is to touch it. A fake may look convincing, but you would be surprised what your fingers can tell you that your eyes may have missed. This holds true for twenties and titties.

Tim and Andy get finicky about food, Tim gets paranoid about X-mas presents, the boys wax nostalgic about video games, the boys discuss Christmas decor, the comedy of Brian Scolaro touches off an interesting thought experiment, Noah tries to understand the logic of SModcast, Tim is an insensitive douche, the boys trend dangerously close to racism, and Noah finds a shoe worse than Crocs.

[CONTENT WARNING] TANcast features mature language and immature hosts but is NOT a representation of the stand up act of Tim Babb. Listener discretion is advised.
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I just looked at the stats and the podcast downloads are higher than they’ve been in a while!

So thank you to all of you who’ve told a friend to listen and thank you to all of you who are someone’s friend and decided to listen.

…and also thank you to Disneyland for bringing back Captain EO in February of next year WOOO HOOOO!!!!

So much to be thankful for…where’s Thanksgiving when you need it?

So let’s say you buy something at the store like milk. It’s got an expiration date of two weeks from that day.

Then you take it home and put it in the freezer for a week and six days.

When you take it out and it thaws, does it still expire the next day or did you buy yourself an extra 13 days with your milk?

Geoff returns to the show (by popular demand) and the boys talk about poop (naturally), raising babies, working at Google, video games (Arkham Asylum 2, Left 4 Dead, & Modern Warfare), but then they get distracted by “hawtness.”

[CONTENT WARNING] TANcast features mature language and immature hosts but is NOT a representation of the stand up act of Tim Babb. Listener discretion is advised.
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I was in the Disneyanna shop on Main Street at Disneyland when I saw a display of figures. Now why would they do this to Snow White?

That’s just not fair. Jessica Rabbit has humongous boobs! Read the rest of this entry »

This week brings lying scales, gross hotel rooms, celebrity gossip, used cars, HIV, Universal Studios fail, sitcoms without laugh tracks, and some great advice for winter.

[CONTENT WARNING] TANcast features mature language and immature hosts but is NOT a representation of the stand up act of Tim Babb. Listener discretion is advised.
Read the rest of this entry »

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Unlike Andy, I enjoy a good chick flick. This, however, looks like a horrible chick flick…

Even the trailer is horrible! I know we complain a lot that the trailer “shows the whole movie,” but this one totally did. Step by step to what is assuredly the ending! It is obvious to anyone who has ever seen a movie before that she will accept her boyfriend’s proposal, then break it off at the last second to get together with the douche who drove her across Europe for the sole purpose of proposing to her boyfriend.

This is an annoying staple of these “chick flicks” the girl is with a guy but then breaks it off at the last second to be with some other guy. (Sleepless in Seattle, Sweet Home Alabama, Runaway Bride, Titanic, the Wedding Planner, the Wedding Singer, etc). I love this message. “Hey ladies, no matter how close you are to marriage, feel free to ditch the guy who loves you and has been with you all this time at the last second because you met a new guy.”

Kill yourself, Hollywood!