Talkin’ Turkey With Tim Babb
Day 7
My senior year of high school, I had a teacher who gave us a wacky assignment at the end of the year. We had to write a letter to ourselves…in the future. She was going to hold on to these letters an mail them to us five years later. So what follows is a letter I wrote in 1995 to myself in the year 2000. (I’m breaking it
into parts so it’s not such a long read as the Star Trek letter from a few weeks back) Get a load of these IMPORTANT questions I felt the need to ask my future self…

Tim, Welcome to the 21st century!

Technically that started in 2001, but whatever.

So how is your stand-up comedy career?

In 2000, it was nonexistent. I think I had tried it once at a poetry open mic. Yeesh, that was bad. So 1995 Tim would be pretty disappointed in 2000 Tim. Not sure he’d be overjoyed with 2013 Tim’s career either. :/

How often do you think of Melinda?

1995 Tim has no idea that he’s going to fail so hard at trying to be smooth and drop this poor woman on her head. I wouldn’t say I think of her often, but when I do, it’s primarily that incident that I think of…and I cringe.

Holly C.?

This was the girl I wrote the awful poem about. (Thankfully, I never actually gave it to her) She friended me on Facebook a few years back after I made the paper for doing a show in our hometown.
She died of cancer last year. She had been battling it since we were 16. Although I didn’t know her well, I feel comfortable saying she was an amazing person.

Still in contact with Jennifer?

This is the young lady I wrote about
a few weeks ago, so at this point in the year 2000, we’d been in semi recent contact…but if you read the blog, you know that didn’t end well.

Jen?

Ha! Ths is Andy’s ex-girlfriend. We’d lost contact because after they broke up, Andy got custody of me.

What happened in October?

This needs explaining. A friend of mine had predicted I would lose my virginity in October of 1995. Let’s
just say that friend is no Nostradamus.

How often do you think of Chamber? Call some of them as soon as you finish reading this.

Chamber was the advanced choir I was in during my senior year of high school. It really had a profound effect on me. I had so many good times in that group. So many of my favorite high school memories came from that choir. 1995 Tim was so afraid that I would lose contact with the members of the group. Sadly, his fears were justified. This was pre-Facebook…even pre-MySpace. So I had lost touch with pretty much all of them. The happy exception was Andy. Who I didn’t have to pick up the phone and call, he lived in the next room. Now thanks to Facebook, I’ve reconnected with many of them. But I know 1995 Tim would be very disappointed that we aren’t the same close knit group we were beck in high school. I don’t know how he thought that could happen, but he dared to hope.

Please, dear God, tell me you have a girlfriend.

So sad. Year 2000 Tim did NOT have a girlfriend. In fact, between sending this and reading this, I hadn’t even gone on one actual date. On the bright side, 5 months after reading this, I had my first kiss with my now wife (Who I had already met at this point and, unbeknownst to me, had a bit of a crush on me.)

What does the Enterprise E look like?

At last, the IMPORTANT questions! For those who don’t know, the Enterprise 1701-D had been destroyed in
the movie Star Trek: Generations (spoilers?), and 1995 Tim was very eager to see what the new one would look like. Fortunately it looked pretty cool and premiered in a kick ass Star trek movie, Star Trek: First Contact. I dragged the Star Trek letter lady to see it. (Poor gal)

How did the new Star Wars films look?

Sit down, 1995 Tim, you’re not going to like this. Where should I begin? Midichlorians? Mannequin Skywalker? oh lord…do I have to tell him about Jar Jar Binks? His little heart won’t be able to take it.

Did you publish any scripts like “Star Wars: The Trek?”

Um… well… Sort of?

Is Jim Kirk still dead?

Sadly, yes.

Does Jim Carrey still have a career?

Wait, what?! I was worried about Jim Carrey’s career? WHY?! Dude was rolling from blockbuster to blockbuster at this point.

Ok..I’m going to stop there for today. But I had to start this blog on November 7th since the postmark
on the envelope was exactly 13 years ago.

More tomorrow….