Commentary without conscience or consequence


A Letter From Tim…To Tim (Part 2)

November 8th, 2013 . by Tim Babb (TANcast's #1 Host/Editor Fan)

Talkin’ Turkey With Tim Babb
Day 8

Okay going to continue on from yesterday, examining the letter I wrote myself in 1995 and sent to myself in 2000. (Side note, the CDs I ordered from the blog a few days back arived today. So, as I type this, I’m listening to some sweet Christmas music.)

Right now I’m sitting across the room from Jackie [last name redacted]. She has the finest legs in the world.

I was gonna give 1995 Tim crap for that goofy line…but, in fairness, she had very lovely legs. So that’s legit.

How were the girls in San Jose?

There were some lovely, intelligent, witty ladies in San Jose….who wanted nothing to do with you.

Remember Blythe [last name redacted]?

Apparently what 1995 Tim thought would be most important to his older self was remembering attractive women he went to school with.

…again, in fairness, Blythe was uber-hot. The best thing is that Blythe never rejected me in high school…’cause I never had the balls to ask her out. So…that counts as a win, right?

Where’s your Double Coconut Award? Do you display it to people?

The choir I was in did a concert at the end of the year and they awarded the “Double Coconut award to the funniest solo. I won for the song I sang with the acting help of the gal I dropped on her head and another guy, Brad, who was the golden boy of the drama department. I remember being super thrilled that he agreed to be in my “skit.” Side note, I’m friends with Brad on Facebook and sometime after college that dude got RIPPED!!! Good lord! When Obama forces us all to get gay married, Brad will be my first call. (Sorry Noah)

How about S.E.P.? Do anything with them often?

S.E.P. was short for the Summer Enrichment program. It was a summer theater “class” at the University of the Pacific. Ok…I just wrote two paragraphs about it but then I clipped it out and put it into a future blog. Sufices to say it was a group of people like the choir I mentioned last week that really shaped me as a kid. It’s also where I met the 13 year old from a few weeks back. Sadly, I’ve lost touch with most everyone from that group. I’m friends with a few of them on Facebook, which is nice. But 1995 Tim expected we’d all be getting together on the regular, having barbeques and making movies. (Yeah, 1995 Tim thought he’d be a big Hollywood star by now…actually by the year 2000. He was so wrong! HA HAHA HA AHAHH AH HA ha ha…heh heh…eeeeehhhhh)

How many times have you been to Disneyland since you wrote this?

Finally some good news for 1995 Tim. Two words: Annual pass. (Shhhh don’t tell him I let it expire in 2010)

Have you been to Disney World yet?

I hadn’t gone by the year 2000, but I did go in 2010. (I even have videos to prove it)

How about Euro Disney?

Sorry, 1995 Tim, but year 2000 Tim hadn’t even left the country yet. In fact 2013 Tim has only been as far as Mexico.

Chamber’s almost over. Have you fund anything t replace the ache in your heart about that?

1995 Tim was VERY sad that his time in the group was coming to an end. I guess I had a thing for groups…which is weird because I am an only child and I like to be on my own. I guess I like to belong too. But the real question is, why would I want to REPLACE an ache? I’d want to soothe it or get rid of it wouldn’t I? Ha! It’s fun to make fun of your own grammar!

Did Dan trip at graduation?

Ha. Dan was a wacky friend of mine. The cooler version of Tim.

…and yes, he did trip at graduation. Twice. The second time he fell down the stairs to the stage. That man was committed to the joke.

How did you and Holly part company?

Wow. Holly is the poor gal who got the Star Trek letter. How did I know we were going to part company? I know we’d had some crazy fights but I didn’t think that was until at least summer. Well in asnwer to 1995 Tim’s question, not well 🙁 ON the bright side, she now has a model for the perfect guy…to avoid at all costs.

Have Emma and “Satan” broken up yet?

Wow! That’s a douchey way to say it. Emma was a girl I had a crush on, who was also in the choir. She was dating a guy who she nicknamed “Satan.” (I think because he dressed as Satan for Halloween) Still, just hoping they break up is a real dick move. For all I knew, they were super happy in love.

Turn out they DID break up, but still…ease up, home wrecker!

How is Rachel?

Dear lord, this letter really is just me checking up on all the women I had a crush on senior year of high school. Like somehow I was going to get to the future and they’d all magically throw themselves at me? I actually reached out to Rachel on Facebook because I found some letters to her while I was going through these. The ones I wrote to her were so bad that they’re not even funny to post here. I actually apologized for being such a tool. She accepted, because she’s a good person.

Talk to Andy often?

Every week! 😉

Where does Gary teach now?

Aw, another sad moment. Gary was the choir teacher. He passed away 3 years ago.

How about Steve?

Ah Steve was my drama teacher and just a great friend. He’s down in southern California now. I love seeing his posts on Facebook. Love that guy. I was really lucky that he took over the drama program my senior year.

What’s important to you now? Have you forgotten the past?

This kid is really worried about growing apart from what was important to him in high school. Sorry, kid. It happens. Doesn’t make the memories any less special. Just means that the fun has to stop sometime.

How are dad an mom?

Yeesh! My dad died 7 years after I received this letter. Enough with the dead people already!

Do you still do the Michael Jackson routine? Is he still married? Does he have a nose left?

What did I JUST say?!

What happened in the O.J. trial?

Wow, I,’m old!

Now get a load of these things that I thought were important enough to sit in a letter for 5 years…

Did Johnny Carson ever make a comeback?

…uh no.

Did Stephen Spielberg’s animation company ever get off the ground?

Uh…yeah. DO you have stock invested or something? (No I didn’t)

How are Disney movies looking lately?

A lot like Pixar movies. (ZING!)

How was Batman Forever?

It was a big fat goofy turd. The good news is you loved it at the time. You showed up to the premier in your Batman costume, and yet Lorena STILL went inside with you. (Shame on you for not asking about Lorena, she graduates one year ahead of you and you forget all about her? NOW who’s “forgotten the past,” ya little turd?!)

Well Get on the phone, pal!

Love always and forever,

I don’t think I did jump on the phone and call anyone. I remember being bummed on behalf of my 18 year old self back in 2000. Fortunately, I can just go stalk my old friends on Facenbook right now.

…seems like they’re all fine.

PS – Read some of your old letters

Oh we did, young Tim. We surely did.

5 Responses to “A Letter From Tim…To Tim (Part 2)”

  1. DeanNo Gravatar Says:

    If you accept Infinite Diversity In Infinite Combinations, then it could be argued that you would MAKE 100% of the shots you don’t take in this reality if, indeed, you take them in an alternate reality. So go ahead and count Blythe as a WIN, Young Tim Babb…

  2. EmmaNo Gravatar Says:

    Loved this!!!! I totally remember writing that and getting my letter 5 years later. I wonder if I still have it somewhere. I had been married for about a year. NOT to “Satan” I think you called him that because I brought him to a party and he said his name was “Beelzebub”. Unfortunately it took me two more years to figure out he wasn’t for me.
    For what it’s worth, if I hadn’t been dating “Satan” I totally would have gone on a date with you!

  3. Tim Babb (TANcast's #1 Host/Editor Fan)No Gravatar Says:

    Emma just made 18 year old Tim retroactively ecstatic!

  4. NoahNo Gravatar Says:

    Nothing about me in there? I am hurt!

  5. Andy (TANcast's #1 Ear-Rapist)No Gravatar Says:

    Noah, you didn’t exist in 1995, just as I didn’t exist in 1991. We all spring into being when Tim requires it.

    Also, holy shit, Emma is commenting on our crappy site? If Brad and Chris and Rachel and Other Tim show up it’s going to become a Very Special Chamber Reunion!

    I guess I’ll see most of those people in 2 years, though, when I finally attend a high school reunion.

    I’ll be the tubby, bald guy who looks a bit like the awkward, dickish guy you all knew 20 years ago.

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