May Cause Anal Leakage


TANcast 284 – #Smelfie

April 21st, 2014 . by Tim Babb (TANcast's #1 Host/Editor Fan)

This week Tim makes a major announcement, Noah poops too hard, and there’s some Easter talk. Then the “Worst. Movie. Ever. Tournament” continues with Leprechaun 5 In The Hood vs Glitter.

00:00 – 01:21 Preshow
01:21 – 02:26 Intro
02:26 – 08:08 Major Announcement
08:08 – 43:52 How the #$%* was your week?
43:52 – 66:58 Worst. Movie. Ever. Tournament
66:58 – 68:12 Wrap Up
68:12 – 70:23 ?????

[CONTENT WARNING] TANcast features mature language and immature hosts but is NOT a representation of the stand up act of Tim Babb. Listener discretion is advised.

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When You’re Sliding Into First…

April 22nd, 2014 . by Tim Babb (TANcast's #1 Host/Editor Fan)

Tim Babb’s April Foolishness
Day 22

Yes…that title is from the song. This blog is about what you think it’s about (Unless you think it’s ACTUALLY about baseball…it is not). So if you do not care to read about this indelicate subject, I totally understand. But that’s why I gave you this whole paragraph to close your browser window and say, “Diarrhea? Aw hell no! I’ll be skipping this and maybe I’ll read tomorrow’s blog.”

Okay…if you’re still reading, you deserve what you get. Read the rest of this entry »

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Attention DC Comics…Make This Happen!

April 21st, 2014 . by Tim Babb (TANcast's #1 Host/Editor Fan)

Tim Babb’s April Foolishness
Day 21

Not too long ago, it was announced that Kevin Smith an Ralph Garman are going to write a comic book mini series crossover with Batman and the Green Hornet. The twist is, the comic is set in the world of the Adam West Batman TV show and the Bruce Lee Green Hornet TV show. Apparently the two shows did crossover episode back in the 60′s and this comic book will be a sequel to that.

But that got me thinking…why can’t they do a crossover in the comics that never happened but totally SHOULD have?

Image stolen from here

Since there’s no stopping the inevitable train wreck that is Hack Snyder’s Batman vs Superman plus Wonder Woman and Eisenluthor, can’t we at least see what it would be like if these classic incarnations of the characters joined fores? It’s not like there isn’t fan hunger to see this kind of thing. Check out this fan made trailer:

That looks awesome and that’s just hacked up bits of movies I’ve already seen…and it didn’t even have Lynda Carter’s Wonder Woman in it! In a comic, they can bring all three back in thier prime glory and we can all watch what happens when they cross paths.

Sorry this thought just popped into my head and it’s too awesome not to happen. Please DC Comics, you’ve taken so much joy away from Superman for so long (Superman Returns, Smallville, Man of Steel, the New 52…) can’t you just give us this one awesome thing?

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Urinot Gonna Believe This

April 20th, 2014 . by Tim Babb (TANcast's #1 Host/Editor Fan)

Tim Babb’s April Foolishness
Day 20

I was in a public bathroom the other day* and I was confronted with this sign above the urinal

My first thought was, “Stupid idiots…throwing crap into the urinal. I hate when people can’t…”

The thought cut off in my head because was immediately replaced with, Why is there an ‘S’ after liquid?”

I mean, back me up fellas, there’s really only one liquid that should be going in there. Unless you’ve got a soda fountain in your pants, it should really just be pee. I realize they couldn’t make the sign say “Piss only,” but you could have said, “Liquid only” and had pretty much the same effect.

So I have to assume you put the extra “S” there on purpose to court other liquids. What is your game urinal sign? WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM US?!!!

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High 5 Best Superhero Movie Themes (Besides Superman)

April 19th, 2014 . by Tim Babb (TANcast's #1 Host/Editor Fan)

Tim Babb’s April Foolishness
Day 19

I may have mentioned once or twice that I am a fan of the John Williams Superman theme. I may also have pointed out my dismay with Hans Zimmer’s Man of Steel theme. That may lead you to think that I’m not a fan of any superhero themes besides Mr. Williams’. Not true. There are some other great themes out there. Here are my five favorites…

Captain America by Alan Silvestri

Spoiler alert: this will not be the only time that Alan Silvestri makes this list. But this theme sounds more like Jerry Goldsmith (Star Trek: The Motion Picture, Air Force One, Soarin’ Over California) to me. Since the Captain’s roots are in the army, it makes sense that the theme has a very military feel to it. Very nice feel to it. I was happy to hear it in part 2. Read the rest of this entry »

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My cell phone just called itself! MySpace Flashback

April 18th, 2014 . by Tim Babb (TANcast's #1 Host/Editor Fan)

Tim Babb’s April Foolishness
Day 18

The following is one of my “classic” blogs from MySpace, back on March 7, 2007

What the?!!!

I was sitting at my computer and my cell went off. I went to see who was calling and it said, “Me!”

“Me” is my own cell number I have programed into the phone. I stared at it for a while…trying to figure out how what I was seeing could possibly be happening.

My cell phone is ringing…and the person on the other end is me…but I that can’t be, because I’m holding the cell phone. And yet, there it is ringing away in my hand.

I was so dumb struck that I didn’t answer it…and wouldn’t you know it…I didn’t leave a message. Isn’t that so like me? What a d***. If I’m gonna call myself, I should at least leave me a message about why I called.

But I’m still lost on how it could have happened? Is the government screwing with me for listening to Al Franken on You Tube? Is the New AT&T having trouble swallowing Cingular and this is just one of the side effects…or…

Maybe I was sent back in time in the future and there is another me here! And maybe future me was trying to call and warn me about something. (I wish future me had gone back a few more days and told me which lottery numbers to pick)

But wait…if it was me from the future, wouldn’t I know that I didn’t answer the call…and that I wrote this goofy blog about it?

…wait…maybe that was future me’s plan all along. To get me to post this blog…and then others would read it and maybe they would come out to Rooster T. Feathers in Sunnyvale this Sunday for Geek Comedy Night! Especially after they clicked on the link to the Rooster T. Feathers website. Or perhaps the link to the Geek Comedy Night Myspace Profile.

Wow…my future self is a shamless whore.

Side note: That show went great, but I never figured out why I called myself

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Yo Quiero Some Basic Respect

April 17th, 2014 . by Tim Babb (TANcast's #1 Host/Editor Fan)

Tim Babb’s April Foolishness
Day 17

Shooting for a little less controversy with today’s blog. I just sat through my contender for next week’s “Worst. Movie. Ever. Tournament,” so I don’t have the strength to write much. Thankfully, Noah and I had this interchange of text messages earlier and it’s totally worth sharing…

I didn’t ask Noah the race of the guy who gave him the dollar…but my racist sense is tingling.

Also, I don’t think Noah fully appreciated how ironic it was to call me out on my typo when the text he sent before mine was a TRAIN WRECK! Hook yourself on phonics, ya qumph!

Merry Christmas!

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April 16th, 2014 . by Tim Babb (TANcast's #1 Host/Editor Fan)

Tim Babb’s April Foolishness
Day 16

Noted scholar and intellectual juggernaut, Bristol Palin posted a pro-life image macro on her Facebook page the other day. Since one of my friends reposted it, I got to see it. Since I got to see it, you have to suffer through this rant. Just a heads up, I’m not here to change anyone’s mind about abortion, just to pick apart this stupid image:

So much is wrong up there, I’m not sure where to begin. I guess I’ll start with the obvious. Yes it is illegal for me to destroy some eagle’s egg. However, it would also be illegal for me to abort some lady’s pregnancy. Despite the text, “legal to kill for any reason,” I would not be within my legal rights to do so. A woman can decide to terminate HER OWN pregnancy, but that’s not the same as “legal to kill for any reason.” Conversely, if an eagle decided to destroy her own egg, she would be allowed to. The law in question does not apply to the eagle who laid the egg. It helps to compare apples to apples. Read the rest of this entry »

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Don’t Read the Comments

April 15th, 2014 . by Tim Babb (TANcast's #1 Host/Editor Fan)

Tim Babb’s April Foolishness
Day 15

I follow the Twitter account @AvoidComments. This account just randomly posts variations on one piece of advice: Don’t read the comments. I’ve always thought it was amusing, but never realized how true it was until today.

I was reading a news article about a 4 year old boy who died and was given a Star Wars funeral…because sometimes you just need to read about soul crushing sadness. Anyway, for some reason, I scrolled down to the comments where I came across this:

He was obviously a huge blessing from God to his family and those who knew him. This is the most amazing “final gift” that I have ever seen. May his family be comforted till they see him again. God bless.

Ok…so far so good. A supportive message. Nothing to make you lose your faith in humanity, right? Well wait until you see what the first reply to this comment was…

Oh f*** you. Your fantasy sky fairy is the one who sentenced him to death with a brain tumor in the first place! Take your baseless, fake beliefs and shove them up your ass you f****** simpleton. God. F*** you.

Really? REALLY?! What the hell is wrong with this qumph?! This reply serves no purpose.

There’s no way you changed the first commenter’s mind about God. You didn’t offer any relief to the grieving family. The only thing you’ve accomplished is being a spectacular douche.

When even an article about the death of a 4 year old ends up being besmirched by some tool bag with a political axe to grind…maybe it’s time we give up on the internet.

..and perhaps in man kind as a whole.

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The End of Truthiness?

April 14th, 2014 . by Tim Babb (TANcast's #1 Host/Editor Fan)

Tim Babb’s April Foolishness
Day 14

A few hours after we were done recording the last episode, Andy texted me lamenting the fact that we didn’t discuss Stephen Colbert taking over for David Letterman. Selfishly, I thought, “Oh good! I get another blog topic!”

I am of mixed feelings about this. On one hand, I’ve been a fan of Stephen Colbert for years, so I’m very happy to see good things happen for him. (Also, I feel like this probably pisses Suey Park off. That makes me happy).

But, apparently, Stephen has said he will not be keeping his “Stephen Colbert” character. That makes me very sad. His over the top bravado and willful ignorance was such a fun and different offering in the late night landscape. As much as I love the Daily Show (and I do), it was always the Colbert Report I could count on to make me laugh out loud every time. I don’t doubt that Mr. Colbert has many other talents to bring to bare when he makes the move to CBS, I’m just going to miss this particular one.

Another thing that makes this move bittersweet is the fact that Comedy Central will undoubtedly pull down all their clips from old Colbert Report shows. I love diving into the archive to relive some of the old brilliance of Colbert. But soon I won’t be able to. So sad..so vary sad.

Quick, while they’re still here, let’s watch one of my favorite clips from the Colbert Report. (Republican readers, fear not…it’s 100% non-partisan) Enjoy.

Congratulations, Stephen…but Stephen will be missed.

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