No one really wins at gay chicken.


TANcast 300 – Fecally Decorative

September 14th, 2014 . by Tim Babb (TANcast's #1 Host/Editor Fan)

This week we celebrate our 300th episode with special guest, Robin! We talk about the origins of how the boys all got together and we spiral off on many tangents…just like the good ol’ days!

00:00 – 05:43 Pre-show (Robin learns the ropes)
05:43 – 22:05 Intro/TANcast Origin Story
22:05 – 25:43 Let’s Get Political
25:43 – 34:23 TANlaughs (Listener submitted jokes)
34:23 – 44:47 Kids Shows (Muppets/Looney Tunes/Etc.)
44:47 – 47:31 Technical Difficulties
47:31 – 51:27 Listener Email
51:27 – 52:42 Kicking My Feet (Stories about our kids)
52:42 – 62:32 How the F*** Was Everyone’s Week?
62:32 – 85:58 Longest. Wrap-Up. EVER.
85:58 – 89:14 ????

[CONTENT WARNING] TANcast features mature language and immature hosts but is NOT a representation of the stand up act of Tim Babb. Listener discretion is advised.
Read the rest of this entry »

join the discussion

With So Much Drama in the USB…

September 17th, 2014 . by Tim Babb (TANcast's #1 Host/Editor Fan)

…it’s kinda hard being B-A double B!

This blog is late today because I spent all of last night trying to fix my stupid computer.

My laptop has stopped recognizing my USB ports. I can’t plug in my iPhone, my external hard drive, or even my damn mouse!

I spent hours googling suggestions for how to fix this problem. Every single one has failed.

My favorite was trying the Microsoft USB troubleshooter. I ran it and it said, “We detected no problems so we didn’t do jack shit. Screw you and you mouse, Tim Babb. We hate you!”

Wow, no need to get personal, Microsoft.

One bright spot has been Andrew (TANcast’s #[square root of -1] fan). I ranted about this USB issue on Twitter and Facebook (like I always do) and he reached out to try and help.

By that I don’t mean he sent one link and said, “good luck.” I mean, this dude has been walking me step by step, comment after comment through troubleshooting this problem. I have limited experience with tech support, but what little I had was not fun. I can’t imagine doing it in my off time for some chuckle headed podcaster.

So thank you, Andrew. I am very, very grateful for your help.

And since I haven’t been able to use my mouse, I haven’t created a new product for today…BUT I created this one a while ago and didn’t publicize it much…so I’m counting it as today’s product. (My blog, my rules)

join the discussion

Santa Needs Your Help

September 15th, 2014 . by Tim Babb (TANcast's #1 Host/Editor Fan)

In coming up with ideas for products, I’ve been listening to old episodes of the show as well as checking out old blogs. Then I came across this blog I did back in 2012 about War on Christmas propaganda posters. And I thought, “Those need to be Christmas cards!”

And now, they are…

join the discussion

The Good Kind of Suck

September 14th, 2014 . by Tim Babb (TANcast's #1 Host/Editor Fan)

We recorded our 300th episode yesterday and I just finished editing it. I hope you will all like it. It should be a fun one for long term listeners as well as a good jumping on point for people who for some reason read these blogs but don’t listen to the show. (That’s got to be a pretty small group of you, right?)

We had a guest on…which was super awesome, by the way. It was Noah’s friend, Robin, who we mentioned a few weeks ago. She’s the first female guest we’ve ever had on TANcast…who wasn’t related to Andy. As you’ll hear, she was a lot of fun and we hope to have her on again soon.

But I have to tell you this was a rough one to edit. We had problems during the recording and there was a bunch of stuff I had to fix once I got everyone’s audio together. But, unlike past episodes of the show where we’ve had problems like these, this one actually ended up sounding pretty good. After 6 years and 300 shows, we just might be figuring this out. Its not about doing things right, it’s about knowing how to make it SOUND LIKE you did things right.

And for today’s product, we’ve got a quote from Noah’s friend as well as the first $hoptember product specifically for the ladies…

join the discussion

What’s the Deal with Ghosts?

September 13th, 2014 . by Tim Babb (TANcast's #1 Host/Editor Fan)

Am I right?

So in a lot of horror movies that involve ghosts, the ghosts are trying to kill people.

But then if the person died, wouldn’t they just become a ghost too?

Why don’t we ever see a movie where a ghosts kills a dude and then the dude becomes a ghost and immediately starts kicking the crap out of the ghost that killed him.

Now let’s talk “real” ghosts. Some people swear ghosts exist. Ok fine…why is there no proof? I’m not talking Ghost Hunters’ shaky night cam footage kinda proof. I mean why haven’t ghosts held a press conference?

“Hey we’re real. We’ve come to haunt you. No further questions BOO!!!”

If ghosts are real, why are they hiding? What are they afraid of? I’m pretty sure of a ghost showed up right now, I wouldn’t be able to do anything harmful to him or her. Read the rest of this entry »

join the discussion

A New Man

September 12th, 2014 . by Tim Babb (TANcast's #1 Host/Editor Fan)

I shaved and got a haircut yesterday. (Not at the same time) I feel like a totally different person. I dunno why. In my head I look completely different with the long hair and stubble. You be the judge.

It’s like Clark Kent and Superman; I can’t even tell they’re the same guy. Am I right? no? Moving on.

I got my favorite kind of barber last night. The ones that don’t even try to make small talk. I love that. I have no desire to try and entertain the barber with amusing stories about my life. Do you really care what I’m doing this weekend? No. I’m the one doing it and I barely care. Are we about to become BFFs or something? No. Just trim my stupid hair up.

Ironically, I think barbers chit chat like that to establish a repertoire so they can get bigger tips, but I always tip way more if I can just sit in the chair in awkward silence. The way the lord intended.

Today’s product is kind of a novelty item. It’s a set of party favor boxes. Like you know when you throw a party and you give everyone a goody bag? This replaces the bag part and steps up your production value a notch. Now designing party supplies isn’t really my thing, but I noticed one of the styles was that of a Chinese food take out box and I thought, “I think it’s time to bring back the ol’ ‘TSE’ gag.”

If you don’t remember, there was a restaurant in China that attempted to translate their name into English and the result was a sign that said, “Translate Severe Error.” And WAAAAAY back in episode 11 of the show, I thought that would be a funny name for a real restaurant (it’s about 6 minutes in). Well thanks to the TANstore, you can pretend it is…

join the discussion

Abs-olutely Disgusting

September 11th, 2014 . by Tim Babb (TANcast's #1 Host/Editor Fan)

The dangerous thing about Throwback Thursday is that I often fall down a rabbit hole of thumbing through old pictures. For instance, this photo is of me when Andy and I were moving out of our old apartment to move IN to the TANhouse…

I look at that picture and I think, “Man, I miss those abs.” Then I make a shirt:

After that, I thumb through some of the other photos from that moving day. Let me warn you, they are not for the faint of heart. Andy and I were not what you’d call “clean people.” In fact, you’d call us slobs. We had no girlfriends to impress and it showed all over our apartment. In fact, that thing I’m stabbing with the pool cue is a mountain of trash. But it’s only one of 3 piles from our move out day.

The next photos are from our kitchen. Again, if you can’t handle advanced levels of slovenly filth, please exit the blog now. Ok you’ve been warned Read the rest of this entry »

join the discussion

Talking Raccoon Beats Superman

September 10th, 2014 . by Tim Babb (TANcast's #1 Host/Editor Fan)

Guardians of the Galaxy has now made more money at the domestic box office than Man of Steel. That is crazy to me. A living tree and a talking raccoon were able to take down the last son of Krypton. I was going to chalk it up to marketing, but apparently Man of Steel spend $150 million on marketing where as Guardians only spent $30 million. Maybe people actually want to have fun at a superhero movie? Crazy thoughts. Maybe a soundtrack with nostalgic music is a plus? Bah!

I have to admit, this makes me a little sad. Warner’s decision to make “serious” comic book movies while Marvel has a more lighthearted focus, essentially means that families are much more likely to see Marvel movies. Which means their kids will buy more Marvel toys, games, etc. Which means Guardians of the Galaxy will be what the kids today grow up on and have nostalgia for in the future. Superman will be “that crap my dad watched.”

As a life long DC fan, I suddenly wish Superman was a Marvel character.

As long as we’re talking about pieces of crap, here’s today’s product:

join the discussion

Who’s the Douche? There’s No Vaccine for Stupid

September 9th, 2014 . by Tim Babb (TANcast's #1 Host/Editor Fan)

Welcome back! It’s time for America’s FAVORITE game…

That’s right, “Who’s the Douche?” The game where we show you an actual exchange on the internet and you decide who the bigger douche bag is.

Todays game is brought to you by the TANstore! It’s a Two Product Tuesday. Featuring sexy throw pillows for you to cuddle.

These pillows come in two styes: Sweet Cleavage or Tight Abs. They are available in the 16×16 inch size or the 20×20 inch size and you can also choose from cotton or polyester.

And now…on with the game. Today’s “Who’s The Douche takes us to the magical land of Twitter.

Yup. The first post is Tim posting about Joan Rivers’ death. No one would stoop so low as to start up douchery in response to this would they?

Of course they would. This is the internet This guy is not only replying to a Joan Rivers tribute tweet with spam, he’s trying to promote the idea that vaccines cause autism. A double douche dip. Well, clearly this guy wins because Tim’s not going to be dumb enough to respond… Read the rest of this entry »

join the discussion

Bulk Bacon, Baby

September 8th, 2014 . by Tim Babb (TANcast's #1 Host/Editor Fan)

If you’ve listened all the way to the end of this week’s show, you heard me talk about finding bulk pre-cooked bacon at Costco the other day. It was one of the greatest days of my life. It goes wedding day, kid being born, visiting Club 33, bulk bacon day…maybe not in that order.

Look at all that glorious meat candy!

I put bacon on everything now. Breakfast? That needs bacon. Making a sandwich? That could use some bacon. Having some bacon? Put some bacon on that bacon, baby!

Every so often my son will ask, “Can I have some bacon, daddy?”

“Of course you can, son!”

With this much pre-cooked bacon, I’m like the Oprah of Bacon! “You get some bacon! You get some bacon! EVERYBODY GETS SOME BACON! I’M BACON IT RAIN!!!”

I was explaining all this to Noah when we were hanging out with Noah the other day and he immediately stopped laughing and rolled his eyes when I said, “bacon it rain.” So, of course, I made a t-shirt.

You’re welcome, universe.

join the discussion