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TANcast

TANcast 248 (Encore) – Nicole, Are You Still Listening?

November 17th, 2014 . by Tim Babb (TANcast's #1 Host/Editor Fan)

This week the boys talk about the Zimmerman Trial, the woes of living in a summer movie universe, Paula Deen, and they make a LOT of Michael Jackson jokes.

[CONTENT WARNING] TANcast features mature language and immature hosts but is NOT a representation of the stand up act of Tim Babb. Listener discretion is advised.

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Poor Kid Just Wanted Some Cake

November 17th, 2014 . by Tim Babb (TANcast's #1 Host/Editor Fan)

It’s never fun when your child is sick, but what a bad day to happen to my little guy.

My oldest son, Michael, was invited to TWO birthday parties yesterday. Fortunately they were only 7 minutes apart and only overlapped by a half hour. SO we thought we would go to both. He was preparing all week. Talking about the fun he would have. The biggest thing was, he was hoping he would get a change to eat some cake. Then it struck him that he might even get to eat cake at BOTH parties.

Well, from the way this blog started, you know how that ended. While at the first party, (before the cake was served) my son complained that his tummy didn’t feel good. I said we could leave and as we were saying goodbye to the birthday boy’s mom, he puked…a lot. Poor thing. It also, I was holding him when he puked so, that was a little gross. As we were leaving, he said, “I think I’ll be better at the next party.” I had to tell him that there was no way we were going to the next party. Especially since it was one of those jumpy places. Poor guy’s cake dreams were dashed. But I could tell he was still not feeling well because he didn’t put up much of a fight.

So I took him back to Nana’s house, where mommy and little brother were, and he laid down for a nap. (Fortunately, Nana had just bought a Mickey Mouse toddler bed, so Michael got to nap in it. While everyone was napping, I ran home and changed out of my barf clothes. Then I came back with crackers, ginger ale and Jell-O. I came back and Michale had moved from the bed to the couch to be near mommy.

When I got there, it was time for mommy to feed baby brother, so I sat with Michael on the couch. Then all of a sudden and with no warning, Michael puked again. I scooped him up and carried him to the bathroom. Mommy suggested we have a nice warm bath to clean up. Oh, it should be noted that my clothes and I took the brunt of my son’s puke yet again. But more on that later.

So we bathed him, put him in some new Mickey Mouse pajamas, and gave him some ginger ale. We also tried to give him the Jell-O…the kid would NOT eat it. Is that crazy? What kid doesn’t like Jell-O? I think the problem is he didn’t like the look of it for some reason and when we tried to convince him he’d like it, he dug his heals in. So when he finally tasted it, he wasn’t going to back down. Stubborn little turd…reminds me of me.

Anyway, we finally got him home and in bed and he seems to be doing better. But back to me being barfed on twice in one day. When we were at Nana’s house, she was nice enough to let me wash my (and Micheal’s) barfed on clothes. In the meantime, she loaned me one of her outfits. So the one positive that came from all this is that now you all get to have this forever…

If you’re anything like my wife, you’re laughing hysterically right now. She actually says this picture doens’t let you appreciate how “crazy tight” those pats were. I told her I posed this way on purpose so that I wasn’t flashing the internet my junk. So enjoy that.

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Dad’s Bad Wrap

November 16th, 2014 . by Tim Babb (TANcast's #1 Host/Editor Fan)

I hate to live down to stereotypes, but I totally did. My oldest son and I are going to TWO birthday parties today (while mommy and the baby visit with grandma). SO we had to bring two gifts. Unfortunately it fell to me to wrap them.


Pictured: An 80’s sitcom prop

They always joke on those sitcoms, “Oh! You can tell dad wrapped that present.” Well in this case, you totally can. I don’t know why I hit a plateau in my ability to wrap presents in the 5h grade, but that’s the reality of my situation. You can always tell when a dad wraps the present because there’s always way too much tape


Next time, I’ll cut out the middleman and wrap the present in tape.

Oh and if you’re wondering why there’s no pictures of the other present, it’s because I said “screw it” and put it in a gift bag instead. 4 year-olds love opening gift bags, right? …oy.

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A Better Ending of Thier Own

November 15th, 2014 . by Tim Babb (TANcast's #1 Host/Editor Fan)

My wife and I are super tired today because instead of sleeping when the baby slept last night, we rewatched A League Of Their Own last night. I love this movie, but I’ve always hated the ending. Now, my sleep-deprived brain wants to analyze why the ending to A League Of Their Own is just the worst.

To refresh, (because if you haven’t already seen the movie, I wouldn’t read this blog) Dottie (Geena Davis) is on an all-women’s baseball team in the 40’s and the team has made it to the world series. As it happens, she doesn’t get a long well with her sister, Kit, (Lori Petty) who was traded from Dottie’s team to the team they are playing against in the World Series. Dottie quits the team before the first game of the World Series (because…reasons) and after 6 games, the series is tied 3 games a piece. Dottie comes back for game 7, hits a 2 run double off Kit, and has her team one out away from winning the series. Then Kit comes up to bat in the bottom of the 9th. Dottie is catching. Kit hits an in the park homer by knocking into Dottie at home plate where she drops the ball and Kit’s team wins. ANd that’s where we’re achieved suck.

Let’s start with the character of Kit. She’s annoying. She’s annoying through almost the whole movie. No disrespect to the actress playing her. That’s how she’s written…and they nailed it. She complains about everything Dottie does and doesn’t do. So when she switches teams mid movie and is now on the team playing AGAINST the Rockford Peaches, the team we’ve been watching and rooting for the whole movie, we’re not rooting for her team. We’re certainly not rooting for her. So when she’s called safe at home, why does a fanfare of triumphant, happy music play? (Side note: this is proof that Hans Zimmer DOES know what triumphant, inspiring music is supposed to sound like).

Plus, earlier in the movie, we saw Dottie get slammed into at home plate by someone MUCH bigger than Kit and she held onto the ball just fine. So are we supposed to believe she dropped it on purpose? That’s even worse. She had quit the team! Don’t come back just to throw the game so that you and your sister can have a make-up moment.

And about that “make-up” moment, after the game the two sisters talk and it seems like they are finally in a better place in their relationship. Then they hug like they are never going to see each other again. Then the very end is a reunion 50 years later and Dottie and Kit run into each other and hug like they haven’t seen each other since that game. SO what was all that making up for? Just to ignore each other for the next half century? How fulfilling.

Ok…I’m done. I just needed to grouse about the ending because it’s always left a bad taste in my mouth since a saw it way back in high school (yeah, I”m THAT old). Up until the ending I LOVE this movie. Tom Hanks is hilarious. Madonna is charming and I have never not loved Geena Davis in anything I’ve seen her in. So I’m not gonna cry too much over this ending. Especially since there’s no crying in baseball.

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Arguing on Facebook…Again

November 14th, 2014 . by Tim Babb (TANcast's #1 Host/Editor Fan)

As a comedian, I’m supposed to be using Facebook to promote my comedy, the podcast, and gain new fans. Yet all I seem to do is get into arguments with strangers. Today was no exception…

This was a news story you might have heard about where some Muslims asked if their holidays could be included in the school’s calendar since Christian and Jewish holidays were included. To be clear, they were not asking for the day off. They were not asking for the school to celebrate the holiday in any way. They were not asking to have the other holidays removed form the calendar. They just wanted to not be excluded. Or as some of the people on the comments for the article put it…

“Send them back where they came from”

“Merry Christmas to the Muslims, like it or leave!!!”

“Shame on you MARYLAND for allowing this attack on our children…”

After reading those comments, I wished my soul could take a shower. Hence I posted the above. But then an old girlfriend from high school responded…

Yes…that’s Cindy Crawford’s picture. What? You don’t think I could have dated Cindy Crawford in high school? Shut up!

But then a friend of a friend commented on my comment and that’s when I lost my cool…

Another lifelong Tim Babb fan recruited. I’m doin’ it!

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TANchats – While Noah’s Away

November 13th, 2014 . by Tim Babb (TANcast's #1 Host/Editor Fan)

Taking a slight break from blogging about kid stuff, today I thought I’d give you a slice of TANcast in text form. The three of us group message all the time and sometimes they’re worth sharing.

Ok, that was not one of the ones worth sharing, but I only made you read that so you could appreciate this next one. The day Noah left on his trip for Thailand, we had this exchange…

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Bless You?

November 12th, 2014 . by Tim Babb (TANcast's #1 Host/Editor Fan)

I’m seeing a lot of talk lately about how bad men are at treating women. Maybe there’s been more of it or maybe I’m just becoming more aware of it. But things like that catcalling video have been making the rounds for a while now and I have to admit, it’s gotten me paranoid.

The other day at work, a co-worker who I don’t know and have never interacted with and I were riding the elevator together. SO far so good…I stayed on my side and played with my phone. (Which I would have done if she had been there or not) But then as we got off, she got out ahead of me and as I was a few steps off the elevator myself, she sneeze. Instinctively, I said, “bless you.” I immediately felt self conscious.


I was totally picturing this.

Like I said, I’ve been seeing a lot of these posts about unwanted attention from males and male privilege. Some guys think they are just being polite but they are actually harassing women. Did this count? Had I just crossed a line? Just to be safe I immediately turned and walked in the opposite direction she was going (even though my car was parked the way she was headed). This can’t be the answer for human interaction can it?

The thing is, ladies, most guys actually don’t want to be jerks. Every guy likes to think of himself as the good guy in his own story. (Except maybe Justin Bieber…pretty sure he knows he’s a douche)

Thing thing is I understand that my nervousness about politeness pales in comparison to the lack of safety women feel when interacting with men. I was walking back to may car from a gig the other night and there were a bunch of thugged out dudes everywhere. (Of all sorts of races, just for clarification). I was super on edge for the entire walk to my car. If women feel that way about all men, that would a horrible and exhausting way to live.

I want women to feel safe when they walk down the street. More than that, I want them to BE safe. I don’t want any guy threatening her or worse, making good on any threatening words or behavior. I just wish there was a way to accomplish this without throwing out chivalry and polite interactions.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not lamenting that I can’t say. “hey good lookin'” to some random woman I pass on the street. But let’s be fair, I’m not really that guy…and now that I’m married, even less of a chance of that happening. But I have two sons and they are going to grow up to be men someday. I want to make sure I do everything I can to help them grow up to be the “good guys.” So do I teach them to ignore a woman sneezing or teach them to say “bless you?”

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Pooped

November 11th, 2014 . by Tim Babb (TANcast's #1 Host/Editor Fan)

I came home from work today at a little before 7pm. By 8:10, my newborn son had crapped FIVE diapers. Five!!!

image
Pictured: A whole lot of crap

What the hell, man?! How much poop can this little 7 pound human produce? He must have Time Lord bowels that are bigger on the inside.

I had totally forgotten about going through this with my first born. I think Mother Nature wants you to forget. She knows if you remember how many times you have to wipe that cute little baby butt, you might think twice about how cute it really is.

I’m joking of course. Just needed to rant a bit. I wouldn’t give up my wonderful children just so I wouldn’t have to change diapers. After all, changing diapers is part of a fathers…”duty.”


That joke made every poop worthwhile!

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Back to Work

November 10th, 2014 . by Tim Babb (TANcast's #1 Host/Editor Fan)

Today was my first day back at my “day job” since James was born. Even though I actually quite enjoy what I do…it kinda sucked today.

For the last week, I’ve been able to focus on just being a dad and a husband. Being able to spend all day with my boys was great. Watching Michael grow into his role as big brother has been a great experience. But now I have to miss 40 hours of that every week.

I know I’m not the first person that has had to go through this. I imagine all working parents have to deal with this feeling at some point. None the less, it makes me a little sad. Michael was certainly very unhappy to see me go today. My wife was noticeable bummed as well. On the plus side, it seemed like James could care less…so there’s that.

I don’t know what the solution is…or even if there is one, but I just thought I could use this pace to vent a little bit.

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TANcast 015a (Encore) – TANcast Presents A Very Special Episode

November 9th, 2014 . by Tim Babb (TANcast's #1 Host/Editor Fan)

This week: first it’s an update on Tim’s newest baby, then an encore presentation of when Andy’s mom stopped by to be a guest on the episode (yet the boys STILL behaved horribly).

00:00 – 00:28 Preshow
00:28 – 01:10 Baby Babb Update
01:10 – 03:75 Intro
03:75 – 12:39 Explaining This Horrible Show To Andy’s Mom
12:39 – 17:00 Andy Talks About His Baby
17:00 – 19:05 Tim Preps For a Comic Book Podcast
19:05 – 22:49 Swearing Around Andy’s Mom
23:51 – 28:12 Wrap Up
28:12 – 28:29 ????

[CONTENT WARNING] TANcast features mature language and immature hosts but is NOT a representation of the stand up act of Tim Babb. Listener discretion is advised.
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