Andy’s October of Suckage: Day 18
One day, probably a Friday, while at Double D’s Sports Grille in Los Gatos, CA with Tim and Noah I got my hands on some crayons and a paper placemat. I proceeded to draw the punchline for the joke “What is green and red and goes 100 mph?” on said paper, because I am an idiot man-child.
When asked “What the hell is that?” I responded by writing the words “A cool, refreshing Frogarita!” under the picture.
This piece of infantile art and bit of juvenile humor started a quest to create an actual Frogarita. I succeeded because I am awesome, and also because I made up the rules for success and therefore had an excellent chance. I do touch the rule-maker’s penis from time to time.
You succeed your way and I’ll succeed my way. Don’t come complaining to me because you’re less successful, crying about how I set my bar really low. Just because I successfully didn’t shit my pants yesterday (I also didn’t drink a Frogarita yesterday, and yes those are related stories), don’t try to claim that your failure to hike the entire Appalachian Trail because of a blizzard in Vermont means anything other than I am more successful than you.
At any rate (crybaby), enjoy the sweet taste (and booze) of my success.
- Get together some decent vodka, Midori, pineapple or orange juice (I suggest pineapple), a 3 oz packet of Cherry Jell-O (not sugar-free), some small paper cups, a blender, and, optionally, some Amaretto.
- If the ingredients don’t spontaneously combine to make a Frogarita because you don’t live in a Disney castle, put the vodka in the freezer to chill and the Midori, juice, and optional Amaretto into the refrigerator to cool.
- Once the liquor is cold, boil 1 cup of water and stir in the 3 oz Jell-O packet until it is dissolved.
- Fix the Jell-O by combining with 1 cup of cold liquid. If you want a standard Jell-O shot, use about 5 oz of vodka and 3 oz of cold water. If you want more alcoholic pop, use 1 full cup of chilled vodka and no water. If you want the Jell-O to taste more like maraschino cherries, use 3/4 cup of Amaretto and 1/4 cup of cold water (or vodka!).
- Pour the cooling mixture into the small paper cups. You just made about 2 cups of liquid, so you do the math on how many cups you need. You’ll only need about a quarter of the Jell-O, so plan on leftovers.
- Put the cups in the refrigerator to set. This takes 2-4 hours, so have a White Russian Shake in the meantime.
- When the Jell-O is ready, mix 1/2 cup of vodka, 1/2 cup of Midori, 1.5 cups of juice, and 1.5 cups of ice (add ice until the level hits 4 cups) in the blender.
- Blend until all the ice is broken up and the mixture is slushy.
- Drop about 1/2 cup of Jell-O shots into the blender and carefully pulse the blender to turn the Jell-O into smaller chunks (like boba tea). If you want a gorier effect, use a full cup of Jell-O.
- Pour and enjoy. You can split this into 2 drinks that are about equal to 3 shots each and share with a friend, or drink the whole pitcher yourself and see what happens.
Yes, this is just a frozen Mellon Ball with Jell-O shot bits. Doesn’t mean I’m not awesome.