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Stupid Recipes: Cottage Cheese, Yogurt, and Applesauce

March 3rd, 2009 . by Andy (TANcast's #1 Ear-Rapist)

This is the first in what will become a series of posts: Stupid recipes you’ll probably never need or want but which Andy either finds delicious or made up to feel clever.

For the initial entry, a classic from my childhood…

Cottage Cheese, Yogurt, and Applesauce

  1. Procure a jar of applesauce. Any brand and style will do, though I find the best to be the finely-pureed variety without skins or added flavor (cinnamon, etc.).
  2. Procure a tub of cottage cheese. Again, any brand, style, and degree of health-consciousness will do. It’s my understanding that small-curd is tangier than the large-curd type, but I usually go by desired texture. Arachnid and footstool are optional.
  3. Procure some yogurt of the fruit-in or fruit-on-the-bottom variety. Any fruit will do. I typically prefer raspberry, blackberry, or boysenberry.
  4. Combine cottage cheese, yogurt, an applesauce in approximately equal amounts in a bowl of suitable volume (2-3 cups or ~0.5 L).
  5. Stir until well-mixed.
  6. Find an unoccupied, private space.
  7. Enjoy your delicious treat without asshole roommates happening by and comparing its appearance to a drunken sorority girl’s vomit.

I’m sure Tim will attest to the fact that I have, in fact, eaten this concoction in his presence, and that he was thoroughly disgusted by my doing so. I hope that you either enjoy this or else shake your head and wonder at the evil of it.

There will be more stupid recipes to come…

2 Responses to “Stupid Recipes: Cottage Cheese, Yogurt, and Applesauce”

  1. Mike (TANcast's #1 Fan) Says:

    I’ll be getting the stuff to make this the next time I go shopping. It sounds good to me, and if it’s not… then I will blame you, Andy.

  2. Alissa (TANcast's #1 Female Fan) Says:

    The texture of apple sauce makes me gag. Same with cottage cheese. So I’m guessing this would not be a good thing for me to try. Also, it sounds kinda..gross…ish. Sorry.
    But hey, if it works for you go ahead and enjoy.

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