This is the first in what will become a series of posts: Stupid recipes you’ll probably never need or want but which Andy either finds delicious or made up to feel clever.
For the initial entry, a classic from my childhood…
Cottage Cheese, Yogurt, and Applesauce
- Procure a jar of applesauce. Any brand and style will do, though I find the best to be the finely-pureed variety without skins or added flavor (cinnamon, etc.).
- Procure a tub of cottage cheese. Again, any brand, style, and degree of health-consciousness will do. It’s my understanding that small-curd is tangier than the large-curd type, but I usually go by desired texture. Arachnid and footstool are optional.
- Procure some yogurt of the fruit-in or fruit-on-the-bottom variety. Any fruit will do. I typically prefer raspberry, blackberry, or boysenberry.
- Combine cottage cheese, yogurt, an applesauce in approximately equal amounts in a bowl of suitable volume (2-3 cups or ~0.5 L).
- Stir until well-mixed.
- Find an unoccupied, private space.
- Enjoy your delicious treat without asshole roommates happening by and comparing its appearance to a drunken sorority girl’s vomit.
I’m sure Tim will attest to the fact that I have, in fact, eaten this concoction in his presence, and that he was thoroughly disgusted by my doing so. I hope that you either enjoy this or else shake your head and wonder at the evil of it.
There will be more stupid recipes to come…