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Stupid Recipes: Four-Cheese Macaroni

March 25th, 2009 . by Andy (TANcast's #1 Ear-Rapist)

This is the second in my ongoing series of extremely stupid things you can whip up and shove in your head-hole to eventually convert into some poop.

Today I bring you a recent creation, dreamed up by my wife on Monday and whipped up by me minutes later…

Four-Cheese Macaroni

  1. Get yourself one box each of Kraft Macaroni & Cheese Dinner: Three Cheese with Mini-Shell Pasta and Kraft Macaroni & Cheese Dinner: White Cheddar
  2. Combine both boxes of pasta in a sufficient amount of boiling water
  3. Boil for 7-8 minutes (11-13 metric), stirring whenever you can muster the courage
  4. Drain water into something that won’t melt or scream
  5. Stir in approximately 1/2 cup (0.0010081 barrel) of milk and 1/3 cup (21.333 fluid drams) of margarine or butter with the stove on low heat
  6. Slowly stir in both packets of pseudo-cheese-product powder
  7. Continue stirring until the entire thing is one color and no longer looks as much like it isn’t really cheese

According to the boxes, this makes 6 servings. If you are an actual adult human who hasn’t has gastric bypass surgery (the FDA “serving” definition is based on what a bypassed stomach will hold), then this makes 3-4 servings. If you are a big fat fucker like me, grab your favorite punch bowl and go to town on this single-serving delight.

Since I’ve only made and consumed this once, and only days ago at that, I make no promises about this combination plate for the lazy not causing lupus or ass-cancer.

8 Responses to “Stupid Recipes: Four-Cheese Macaroni”

  1. Nate Says:

    It’s not lupus!

  2. Tim (TANcasts #1 Host/Editor Fan) Says:

    It’s never lupus

  3. Mike (TANcast's #1 Fan) Says:

    Tim! Lies! It’s never Lupus, except the one time it was Lupus!

  4. Andy Says:

    And it’s never paraneoplastic syndrome, except for the one time it was.

  5. Mike (TANcast's #1 Fan) Says:

    I don’t remember that episode, Andy.

  6. Princess Edamame - #12 Says:

    Why can’t people just get colds?

    Anyone here read politedissent.com? If not, I highly recommend it to all you Hose-loving comic book nerds out there.

  7. Princess Edamame - #12 Says:

    Fuck. Sorry. not HOSE-loving. hoUse-loving.

    Fuck. fuckfuckfuck.

  8. Jess (TANcasts 1200th Customer) Says:

    mmmmmmmm cheesy ass cancer.

    It’s the cheesiest!

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