No one really wins at gay chicken.


TANcast 033 – The Never Ending Story

January 17th, 2009 . by Tim Babb (TANcast's #1 Host/Editor Fan)

Noah and Andy try to help Tim get Lost. Andy announces his special Century Bike Ride event. The boys watch some videos of people failing. Andy gives the scoop on his recent lay off. The boys discuss Sex in the City, babies (of course), ethnic advertising, crazy winter weather, dick tricks and other weird/gross things, Ricardo Montalban (which leads to Star Trek…of course), the best band ever: Incestuous Homosexual Brothers from Canada (Savage Garden), horses, and stripping accidents available for viewing on-line (see show notes).

Then Andy tells a “quick” story. Ha hah ahahhahah Hahahahha Hahahahhahahah….eh

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This week’s TANlaughs were sent in by Grammar Girl (sort of) and “anonymous”
Send your jokes for TANlaughs to: Andy (at) TANcast.com


[CONTENT WARNING] TANcast features mature language and immature hosts. Listener discretion is advised.

grammar girl:

I like Turtles:

Baby giving himself a swirlie

Star Trek Original Series Episode: Space Seed …for Ricardo

Taken Movie trailer:


Stripping poll accidents:




37 Responses to “TANcast 033 – The Never Ending Story”

  1. Bryce (Tancasts #3 Fan)No Gravatar Says:

    I wonder how fat Andy REALLY is. I was thinking about this during the Star Trek stuff. Like Tenacious-D-fat or Fat-Albert-Fat .

  2. Tim (TANcasts #1 Host/Editor Fan)No Gravatar Says:

    Ha! Actually he’s not really fat. He just once said he was worried about gaining wait so we decided to give him shit for the rest of his life about being “fat.”

  3. NoahNo Gravatar Says:

    I would call him pleasantly plump.

  4. Bryce (Tancasts #3 Fan)No Gravatar Says:

    I know picture a “pleasantly plump” chimpanzee. The stripper pole videos are pretty fucking hilarious.

  5. Jess (Tancast's #2 Fan)No Gravatar Says:

    Have you guys heard the comedy duo Hard and Phirm? they do a parody song of Savage Garden. Very funny, if I wasn’t so lazy I would look it up on youtube and post a link. oh well.

  6. Jess (Tancast's #2 Fan)No Gravatar Says:

    Hey Andy: you could always go back to work for Circuit City……oh wait, woops.

  7. Mike (TANcast's #1 Fan)No Gravatar Says:

    Alright, so I sat here and listened to Noah’s story about a friend’s story about a friend or whatever it was. As I sat and listened to it, I heard Ron White saying “I’m third generation don’t give a fuck”. I love that joke.
    I wish I could think of something funny to say about Andy’s story, but all I can think of is how appropriate it is that I was fighting wind elementals during Andy’s story. Did Andy ever actually get to the point of that story? lol

  8. Kris (TANcasts #1 Gay Fan)No Gravatar Says:

    Failblog.org is super funny. Thanks! Andy that story was totally confusing, good thing Tim cleared it up. Andy are you gonna miss your Bear friend? Something during this TANcast something made me laugh really loud but now that I finally finished the show I don’t remember what it was. Oh Well! Glad your all back.

  9. AndyNo Gravatar Says:

    Kris, I actually forgot to tell that story on the show. It’s been a while since I worked with Dude (the “Mmmmm, Bear…” guy), but I did hear from Buddy (our friend in common) after the cutback that Dude had offered me “conciliation head” when he heard about it. He also joked about coming to my house to console me, which gave me the mental image of him standing outside with a boombox held over his head, playing Samwell’s “What What (In The Butt)”.

    Bryce, Tim and Noah are being kind. I look like a hairy version of the Michelin Man: sorta lumpy and extremely pale.

  10. Bryce (Tancasts #3 Fan)No Gravatar Says:


  11. Bryce (Tancasts #3 Fan)No Gravatar Says:


    Well fuck. I don’t know how to post a pic even after reading the one from Natalie Portman:(

  12. AndyNo Gravatar Says:

    Bryce, unfortunately, WordPress doesn’t allow the BB lingo you used, just HTML.

    I think you wanted:


    <img src=”http://i13.photobucket.com/albums/a293/MosesLeroyRocks/Michelinman-753287.jpg”>

    Someday we may make the comment area a rich-text editor…

    PS: Fucking awesome, but why the photo negative? Is that my black, cold soul showing through?

  13. Bryce (Tancasts #3 Fan)No Gravatar Says:

    Give me a break, it took 3 minutes on windows paint.

  14. NoahNo Gravatar Says:

    looks like the stay puft marshmallow man and a gorilla fucked and out popped this version of andy.

  15. Jess (Tancast's #2 Fan)No Gravatar Says:

    It looks like a hairy black turd.

  16. NoahNo Gravatar Says:

    Andy is lily white, his alabaster skin is very sensitive to the sun.

  17. LoganNo Gravatar Says:

    Another great Tancast. I have to say I came over to this show after being a religious listener to SMODCAST. Unfortunately kevin and scott have gone down hill since Zack and Miri came out and he got all depressed and stoned. I hope Tancast can keep going because I always laugh my ass off. I love everything Keving Smith related but hopefully he gets his head out of his ass here soon.

    Keep up the awsome podcasts, my brother and I will keep listening from NY

  18. Mike (TANcast's #1 Fan)No Gravatar Says:

    Tim, thanks a lot by the way. Now I want to watch the Neverending Story

  19. Jess (Tancast's #2 Fan)No Gravatar Says:

    Hey Logan, I have to agree with your statements about Smodcast. Even though I am a frequent user of the “smokable herbs”, Kevin Smith isnt really funny when hes high.

    But TANcast always delivers, mainly cause the hosts are not too stoned to think of funny things to say.

  20. Jess (Tancast's #2 Fan)No Gravatar Says:

    can anyone tell me how to put my own avatar in my posts instead of the strange smiley face I always get?

  21. NoahNo Gravatar Says:

    I am actually stoned out of my mind for every episode. In real life I am so boring sober.

  22. AndyNo Gravatar Says:




  23. LoganNo Gravatar Says:

    I don’t mind if people smoke up, but Kevin smith is a very smart person (not always right, but smart) when he wants to be, but put him on pot and he just giggles like a school girl and has a bad case of ADD.

    Even when you guys where drunk you could still hold a decent conversation. -Peace.

  24. Jess (Tancast's #2 Fan)No Gravatar Says:

    Thanks Andy, sorrry I missed you posting that before.

  25. Jess (Tancast's #2 Fan)No Gravatar Says:

    Noah, I certainly hope you are stoned for the show, it would explain you being so quiet all the time.

  26. Anastasia (Tancast's Only Teenage Fan)No Gravatar Says:

    I honestly don’t understand why Tim and Noah bomb on Andy all the time. Andy has his opinions, and while they may be well, a bit long and more confusing than the last, I enjoy them…………….. Ohhhhh great show this week!

  27. DeanNo Gravatar Says:

    Andy, what an Alphabet Soup Orgy story!

  28. Mike (TANcast's #1 Fan)No Gravatar Says:

    Anastasia, I don’t know if it’s a guy thing, or what, but I do the same thing with my best friend. The difference between when Dan and I do it, and when Tim, Andy, and Noah do it, is that Dan can dish it out almost as well as he can take it. The only person better at taking my best shots, is my friend Ashley (does that mean it’s not a guy thing?), and she and I can keep going for hours, until we just run out of insults. It’s just good fun. Besides, is there any better gay joke than being called a cock juggler? Granted, she stole that one from me, but it’s funnier when she uses it anyway. What was I talking about?

  29. Jess (Tancast's #2 Fan)No Gravatar Says:

    I think Andy can dish it out as well as take it. Let us not forget the “Jimmy Pants” incident.

  30. MattNo Gravatar Says:

    Thanks alot Tim, ive had that stupid song stuck in my head all week. you should put Limahl on the 100 dollar gay buck.

  31. Mike (TANcast's #1 Fan)No Gravatar Says:

    I’ll give Andy credit, he does get a good shot in every once in a while, but as a general rule…. Tim and Noah rip him to shreds. Although you’re right, Jess, Jimmy Pants was a pretty good one.

  32. Princess Edamame - #12No Gravatar Says:

    *still singing Never Ending Story* I picked up SModcast a couple of weeks ago and picked a few older epis to listen to, to get the flavor of them. I happened to choose “Leeroy Jenkem”, by chance, and it was the one about fatties not getting to ride It’s a Small World in full boats. Cracked me up. But the more I listened to it and other epis, the sadder I became. I’m not a huge Kevin Smith fan, tho I do enjoy some of his stuff (and sorry asshole, I didn’t go see Zack and Miri!), but I think the ‘cast really reveals him as a high, sad, somewhat insecure person. Which is cool, you know, because most of us are, but it can make for some rough listeneing if you’re all psycho-analyzing it instead of just laughing at the funny shit. So I don’t know if I can listen much longer.

    I think if I want to listen to a sad, sorry trainwreck, I’ll keep listening to TANcast! (Sorry guys, couldn’t resist – you know I love the show.)

  33. Jess (Tancast's #2 Fan)No Gravatar Says:

    Kevin Smith has one of the quickest wits ever, just check out his “Evening with Kevin Smith” DVDs to see what I mean.

    But as for the podcast, it really only has moments of funny, mixed in with the sad, extremely stoned, self loathing behavior that makes me fast forward through the show.

    I do hope he tries to lose some weight before he croaks from too many twinkies.

  34. Princess Edamame - #12No Gravatar Says:

    KS does have a really quick wit, and strikes me as pretty damn smart, which is probably why it strikes me as so sad…

  35. TonyNo Gravatar Says:

    I can’t make it through 5 minutes of Smodcast.

    But I listen to Tancast religiously.

    Does this make me a bad person?

  36. Tim (TANcasts #1 Host/Editor Fan)No Gravatar Says:

    Wow! That’s amazing. I consider our show to be so similar to SModcast I’m surprised so many of you don’t like the show.
    Well, I’m glad you like ours. I’ll go back to editing the new one. 🙂

  37. KikiNo Gravatar Says:

    222 episodes later, the stunning conclusion to a story most of us had forgotten about. 4 years in the making!

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