New from Playskool, the X-TREME BABY Helmet!
Is life too full of hard surfaces for your hard-living, adventure-addicted baby?
Does your youngest yearn for the rough and tumble life of a bullfighter, a coal miner, or a crack-addled home invasion robber?
Do you secretly believe that Dale Earnhardt has reincarnated in your child, ushering in the prophesied “1000 Years of Corn Whiskey”?
Then try the X-TREME BABY Helmet, from Playskool!
When life gives you a lemon, toss a helmet on it. It won’t notice.
I’d like to offer my apologies to the obviously caring and protective mother for mocking what is clearly a desire to protect her baby from the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, and possibly from freak hailstorms.
Apologies also to our readers for the shitty camera-phone photo. It was taken indoors without a flash as I tried to prove to my wife that yes, I am fucked up enough to go get a surreptitious picture of a baby in a helmet to post on TANcast.