TANcast

That adorable little baby up there is yours truly. The man watching over him is my dad. Today would have been his 79th birthday. I’ve missed him every day since he died 5 and a half years ago, but I’ve especially missed him since I’ve become a father. I don’t get to ask him for advice, I don’t get to benefit from his fatherly wisdom, but most of all I don’t get to introduce him to his adorable grandson. Read the rest of this entry »

A few days ago, I wrote a blog about how I think the Enchantress from Beauty and the Beast is actually an evil, evil witch. I was super proud of myself and my analysis until I read a comment from Jesus:

BTW, was chip BORN a cup?! Ten years, their human bodies didn’t age, so we can assume chip was either born a cup or was already a 10 year old boy. Also, there were other living teacups, were they children too? How many kids did Mrs. Potts have?!

Oh my lord…Chip!

What could I have done to deserve this?

This may be the most acute case of fridge horror ever. That’s a little kid…transformed into a cup. Jesus says the human bodies don’t age during the spell, but the Beast looks way older than 11 when he turns back into a regular dude. I must assume then that their bodies have indeed aged while cursed. That leaves three possible scenarios to explain Chip…all of them bad… Read the rest of this entry »

With all that got talked about on the latest episode of TANcast, we didn’t get around to discussing one particular topic until after we were done recording. It all goes back to Saturday night when Noah sent Andy and me a text…

There is a white lady on Bart that is looking at me like she wants to fuuuccckkk. She is cougar status. Does cougar mean they are hot too?

To which Andy replied:

Yes.
I believe the ability to land a younger man is a requirement for cougarhood.

Not so fast, Andy. Now Tim steps in…

Technically, you only have to be older to be a cougar

And a debate was born. I asked my wife who thought the woman DID have to be hot. Since my wife and I were at a party, she decided to ask her friends. Most of them agreed with Andy. The ability to GET a younger man is what makes you a “cougar.”

But my thoughts were that the woman only has to CHASE younger men. There are plenty of cougars on the prowl everyday. Some of them get their prey, but some of them starve to death…doesn’t mean they’re not ALL cougars.

…so…hungry…

So, dear readers, I put it to you. Does a woman have to be hot/sexy to be considered a “cougar?”

Oh and Noah had one final text that night…

Maybe she was like [an] older house cat, cute and loveable but maybe ate one too many Whiskas

PS- Happy Hump Day….giggity!

So TANcast is rapidly approaching the year anniversary of our podcast getting kicked out of the iTunes store. (WTF, iTunes?!). But some of you might actually want to subscribe to our nonsense. So here’s a step by step guide to subscribing to TANcast on iTunes! (FYI-these visuals are from a PC, but it works virtually the same on a Mac.) Read the rest of this entry »

Beauty and the Beast is the classic Disney film that launched a thousand fury fetishes. Artistically, it was probably the high mark of the Disney renascence era and it was the first animated film ever to be nominated for an Academy Award for best picture (it lost to Silence of the Lambs…screw that movie!)

Quick quiz: who was the villain of Beauty and the Beast? If you said “Gaston,” you are 100% wrong. Yes, he’s a total jerk face, but the real vilian is revealed at the opening of the movie. You probably don’t remember it because they glossed over it in an opening monologue read by David Ogden Stiers. He sounds so important that you don’t question him. But read the opening in my whiny voice and the red flags start dropping like a [sports reference that I don’t have for you folks…sorry] Let’s take a look… Read the rest of this entry »

This week the TANboys recorded on St. Patricks Day. You’ll hear depressing news from Andy and Tim plus old and new movie talk.

[CONTENT WARNING] TANcast features mature language and immature hosts but is NOT a representation of the stand up act of Tim Babb. Listener discretion is advised.

Read the rest of this entry »

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I am writing THIS blog while I’m sitting at a party with my wife. She’s talking with her friends (who she barely gets to see these days) and I’m staying out of it.

This is the first time I’ve written a blog on my iPhone. How do you like it? Does it feel more portable? …ah well.

We were dancing earlier and I am still tired. I am out of shape. Apparently just eating less fast food is not getting me back in peak physical condition. I’m going to have to start exercising. But I hate running and aerobics and crap. My plan is to do 20-30 minutes of Michael Jackson dancing every night until I’m in shape. That should work, right?

Tee hee!!!

So apparently you folks like this cute kid stuff, and so I present to you my son and I dancing at Cold Stone.

Nolan’s Dark Knight trilogy is over, but Warner Bros. is not going to let their cash cow die. They’ve gotta reboot the bat. It’s inevitable. With Avengers 2 on the horizon, you know Warner wants to build a Justice League movie, and the Batman has to be part of that. The question is, how do you go forward? You obviously don’t want to retread the ground that Nolan, Burton, or god help us Schumacher have already done…but you still want to remain true to the character of Batman. So let’s see where we’ve been already to find out where we should go. What aspects of the Batman have these three directors explored?

Tim Burton explored Batman’s gothic side, Schumacher explored his “wacky” side (oy!), and Nolan explored his gritty, physical side. But one element of Batman’s character has yet to really be highlighted on the big screen. Batman is supposed to be smart. Life is a constant game of chess and he’s playing you 15 moves ahead. Let’s see that! Not only can Batman beat you to a bloody pulp, he’s already figured out your escape plan before you were done making it.

So who’s the perfect villain to test Batman’s brain? The Riddler. Not the zany, sock down his bright green tights Riddler that Jim Carrey played, but picture more John Malcvoch in In the Line of Fire. He’s a sadistic son of a bitch who’s got a vendetta against Gotham (I’m sure someone can read through the comics and find a reason why). He’s leaving the police these riddles that the police solve only to get there just to late as the bombs go off (kinda like Die Hard: With A Vengeance). Until one time they get there to find Batman has defused the bomb. The Riddler then turns his attention on the Batman. Leaving clues that Batman must solve to save various people. Commissioner Gordan, the mayor, etc. Finally the Batman shows up to save some other notable person…and the person is not there. Just when you think the Batman has guessed Riddler’s clue wrong, the Riddler reveals himself. Turns out, this was an unsolvable riddle…a trap to rid himself of the Batman. When the Riddler attempts to activate the trap mechanism…nothing happens. We then get an Ocean’s 11 style reveal that Batman has been a step ahead of him since he thwarted that first bomb. We get a flashback to several very subtle clues placed throughout the movie that now make sense in context that the Batman has been in control the whole time. Once your mind has been thoroughly blown…credits! Then Superman shows up at the end to ask him to join the Avengers…er…I mean Justice League.

Hey Warner Bros…money please!!!

A while ago, I was in an argument about the Big Bang Theory. The person I was arguing with was an opinionated nerd who thought the show was bad because it represented nerds poorly. Oh did I mention that this blow hard hadn’t even seen a full episode of the show? ‘Cause he hadn’t. He was telling me what was wrong with a show he hadn’t seen. I could understand if he didn’t like this TYPE of show (sitcoms). That’s fine, that’s his prerogative. I’m the same way with those dancing shows. I’ve never seen one and I have no interest in ever seeing one. But I have no problem mocking Andy for watching them, because I’m mocking the show for what is IS…dancing. This idiot was mocking Big Bang Theory for what he thought it was, an insult to nerds. He was telling me it was denigrating to nerd culture because it was showing nerdy guys being inept in the romance department and making fools of themselves.

First off, that’s not what the show’s “about.” That’s just an element of the show. But I couldn’t even get that far in this “discussion” because this tool just kept spewing forth his arrogant words with the tone of an insufferable jerk-face who just KNOWS he’s right about everything (kind of like my tone in this blog)

The message I was unable to punch through his wall of self righteous blabber was that EVERY sitcom treats relationships like that. The guys are always screwing up and making dumb decisions and mistakes. From Dick Van Dyke to Full House to the Cosby Show to Cheers to Friends to Modern Family. Guys (and sometimes even the ladies) are always screwing things up, making dumb choices, and getting into wacky predicaments. But I’m supposed to hate Big Bang Theory because the guys who do the screwing up wear super hero t-shirts and make sci-fi jokes? That makes no sense. They’ve taken the template that people have been using since the dawn of sitcoms and added a ton of nerd friendly references and jokes…and you want me to be OFFENDED? Why don’t you go watch some “superior” show that will be cancelled by next season and just let me enjoy my award winning show?

Bazinga!