TANcast

31 Blogs of Christmas
Day 31

On Christmas eve, I had to take my car in for a flat tire, an oil change, and to get a belt replaced. When they were done doing all that, they told me I should probably replace my battery soon. Unfortunately, I was running late for work so I didn’t have time to get it done right then.

My car then sat in the driveway for five days while my family and I went to Disneyland (in my mom’s Prius). I went to start my car on Monday for my first day back to work…no love. The battery had died. No time to jump start the car, my wife drove me to work. The next day, my plan was to get up early, jump the car and get a new battery. But I attempted to jump start it and it didn’t work. The lights and whatnot came on, but the engine didn’t even crank and the horn started going off like a car alarm (which I don’t have…or so I thought)

So I take my wife’s car to the auto parts store and buy a new battery. I look up how to change a battery on my phone and I eventually get it done. But as soon as I hook it up, the horn goes off again. I try to start it, same result. Every time I open the door, the horn starts honking again. At this point, I’m convinced that the dead battery must have activated some security system that prevents the car from being stolen.

I look it up in ten owner’s Manuel…nothing.

I spend half the day Googling it…nothing.

Finally I have to go to work, leaving my poor wife responsible for driving me there and back. Yet, she took it upon herself to try and solve my car problem. She called AAA to get my car towed to a repair shop. But for some reason they didn’t send a tow truck, they sent a car expert who was gonna help. My wife explained the situation the guy suggested several things that didn’t help before giving up and calling the tow truck my wife asked for in the first place. when tow truck guy gets there he tries to trouble shoot the problem too but gets nowhere.

The car is finally towed to a shop. Just as I get off work, we’re told the car is ready. My wife drops me off and the mechanic says to me, “Here’s what you do if this happens again…”

He then pulls down on the plastic below my steering wheel to reveal an access panel. I see several wires and a flashing red LED light. He tells me I need to press the button next to that LED light and that will reset the alarm.

…then he charges me $120…and insists I pay cash.

All because Toyota doesn’t make it easy to find out how to reset the stupid security system that they don’t even warn you that you have. So hopefully this finds some poor soul googling this information in their hour of need…

My 2007 Toyota Yaris’ battery died. When I went to jump start it, the engine wouldn’t crank and the horn started beeping. It turns out there’s a button next to an LED light that you need to press with your key in the ignition to turn the security system off. There’s an access panel under the steering wheel. Remove that and then look for the LED light.

There, I just saved somebody $120.

Ok…bring on 2014!

31 Blogs of Christmas
Day 30

So 2013 is rapidly coming to an end and I’ve spent a good portion of the year blogging. I blogged every day in the months of March, September, October, November, and December. So I thought I’d look back and see which blogs were read the most. Here are the top 5 blogs of the year…

5) Who’s The Douche? Giraffe-holes!
THe heroic story of how I got into a Facebook fight with a friend of a friend of the Giraffe Game that was sweeping the internets back in October.

4) Explaining Star Trek to an 18 Year Old Woman
This one was from my series of old letters I’d written back in college. If you want to read a cringe worthy explanation of the Star Trek franchise (with present day commentary by yours truly) this is the blog for you.

3) 5 Awesome, Lesser Known Christmas Songs – High 5
A list of 5 of my favoriet Christmas songs that don’t get enough play. Hurry up and check this one out before the videos are pulled from YouTube.

2) Poop
A classy blog where I replaced one word in famous film lines with “poop.”

1) The Secret Villain of Beauty and the Beast
I’m so happy this one made it to the top of the list for the year. I really had fun writing this one and the follow up. It’s been an idea kicking around in my head for a while and I’m glad I got it out. I’m especially glad I go it out there before Cracked totally ripped it off

31 Blogs of Christmas
Day 29

I love Disneyland, but I hate a lot of the people who come to visit Disneyland. People just act like the rules don’t apply to them. “I don’t care that there are a ton of people waiting to walk by, I’m in a hurry so I need to push past the people politely waiting. I’m a self-important tool bag.” I hate that.

Sadly, at 3:15 on December 28th, I became the thing I hate.

I was pushing the stroller with my son in it though the uber-crowded park with my mom following behind. We are headed to the Tiki room, but the entrance to Adventureland is blocked off. No problem, we’ll go through Frontierland and cut across. We start to do that and a cast member tells me we can’t. He says we have to walk all the way around Frontierland, through New Orleans Square, past the Indiana Jones constricted corridor of death and back to the Tiki Room…which is 20 feet from where I’m standing.

At this point, I am not proud of myself…I just kept walking.

“Sir, you need to go this way. Sir…you’re going the wrong way.”

I tossed a reply over my shoulder, “Sorry.” Yet I carried on.

While I’m sure it rang hollow to that poor cast member at the time, I was and am indeed sorry. I know he’s got a job to do and jerks who do what I did make it worse. So I’m very sorry to that guy if he ever reads this.

But I’m not sorry to whoever made him have to enforce that dumb instruction on how to get around the park! I get it. The park is crowded, and you’ve got to manage things so that everyone can still have the best time possible. But don’t think for a second that I”m not aware that you use this opportunity to march guests past as many concession and retail opportunities as you can. There is no other reason to ask my family and I to take the route that poor cast member was trying to direct us to.

Observe this map…

The “A” is where I was and the “B” was where I wanted to go. The blue line is the route I took. The red line is the route they wanted me to take. Not only is the “official” route a ridiculous amount of extra walking, my route didn’t even upset their flow of traffic.

Still, I was in Disney’s park and I should have abided by their rules. Even if they are stupid.

So I’m sorry cast member. If it’s any cancellation, my drive home that should have taken 6 hours took a grueling 10 hours.

31 Blogs of Christmas
Day 28

Today was my last day at Disneyland so I stayed pretty much until the park closed. (and now I’m blogging because apparently I hate sleep). On my way out of the park, a cast member stopped me and said, “You’re in the wrong park.”

She was referring to the Superman hoodie I was wearing. So, thinking I’d impress her, I unzipped to show off my Captain EO t-shirt underneath. To which she replied, “I don’t know what that is.”

After I explain it’s Captain EO, she says, “Oh! I’m a bad cast member.”

Not true. She was very friendly. I saw her having fun little interactions with everyone that passed her. But then she added, “I’m too young for that.”

…I’m old

31 Blogs of Christmas
Day 27

Why do they call a “Wet Willie” a “Wet Willie?”

Was there a guy named Willie who would o around sticking his finger in people’s ears? Then someone added the twist of licking it first and so this modification was dubbed the wet version of “The Willie?” Then the Wet Willie became so popular that everyone forgot about The Willie?

Or maybe the finger is supposed to be a stand in for a…” Willie.”

There are a billion other things I could/should be blogging about today, but it’s late and after 2 days of chasing a toddler and Andy through Disneyland, this is all I got for ya.

I’ll do better tomorrow…I hope.

31 Blogs of Christmas
Day 26

I’m typing this blog next door to the Happiest Place on Earth! Last year at about this time, I was actually feeling kinda bummed out. Christmas was over and I felt like it passed me by. This year, I made sure to start celebrating early…and if you’ve been reading the blogs over the past few weeks, you’ve been forced to celebrate with me.

But this is an even better way to avoid the post-Christmas blues. My family and I are gonna spend a few days at Disneyland where the Christmas spirit is still going strong. Small World is decked out in holiday cheer, Main Street will be pumping out some of my favorite Christmas tunes, and to top it off, Andy and his wife and kid are here!

My only worry was how I was gonna find a way to blog while down here. Fortunately “Santa” (aka my mom) hooked me up with a Windows tablet. It’s pretty sweet. I haven’t fully explored the thing, but I’m blogging in bed at 2:30 am and I’m lovin’ it. Now if only my son would go back to sleep so he can be well rested for tomorrow.

“I wanna get up right now.”

…it’s gonna be a long night.

31 Blogs of Christmas
Day 25

Made it! I’ve wrapped all the presents, we’ve bought all the food, decorated the house, decorated the tree, sung the carols, watched the movies, all that’s left now is to enjoy the day. Hurray for Christmas. I’m so glad I took the time to enjoy the season this year. (and even more glad that I’m extending it 3 extra days…AH HA AHAHAH)

I won’t take up too much of YOUR day with this blog, but I do invite you to watch this scene from the end of Scrooged…and then I invite you to put in your copy of Scrooged and watch it.

God bless us, every one.

31 Blogs of Christmas
Day 24

It’s Christmas eve! Even if you were fighting it before, you can’t escape it now…it’s Christmas time, baby! By this point, Christmas music is playing everywhere. As you have no doubt been able to tell over the last month of blogging, I LOVE Christmas music! I love it, love it, love it! However…there are a few Christmas songs that just don’t do it for me. That’s what this list is for.

To be clear, to make this list, the song has to be generally loved. So no Christmas Shoes or anything sung by Justin Bieber. It’s likely that at least one of these songs will make you say, “WHAT?! How can you not like that song?!” Well, read on and find out…

Frank Sinatra – Jingle Bells

I know, sacrilege to criticize ‘ol blue eyes, but I can’t even get past the goofy choir beginning of this songs. Listen, singing monkeys, I know how Jingle Bells is spelled just let Frankie sing. But once he does they keep jumping in. SHUSH!!! Read the rest of this entry »

31 Blogs of Christmas
Day 23

You may have noticed that this blog and yesterday’s blog were late. That’s because I had a choice to make…edit the latest TANcast episode or write blogs.I chose to get the episode up. I feel it was worth it just for the discussion of Statue of Liberty.

But I did want to make something worth the wait, so here is some of the “Did You Know…” facts from the Music Choice* channel. (They’re playing the “Sounds of the Season.”)

Did I know J. Edgar Hoover what in 1895? Celebrated Christmas? Didn’t most people? Did you guys crack open the eggnog early? Read the rest of this entry »

This week TANfights returns with Krampus vs. the Grinch…vs. the Karate Monkey (?) Then the boys talk about the Duck Dynasty controversy and Noah’s trip to New York.

00:00 – 01:31 Pre show
01:31 – 04:15 Intro
03:11 – 36:38 Monday Night TANfights
36:38 – 51:59 How The F#$% Was Everyone’s Week
51:59 – 59:37 Steamin’ Pile of Streamin’
59:37 – 1:01:59 TANlaughs
1:01:59 – 1:02:19 Wrap Up
1:02:19 – 1:04:04 ???

[CONTENT WARNING] TANcast features mature language and immature hosts but is NOT a representation of the stand up act of Tim Babb. Listener discretion is advised.

Read the rest of this entry »

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