Gutter Adjacent



April 16th, 2014 . by Tim Babb (TANcast's #1 Host/Editor Fan)

Tim Babb’s April Foolishness
Day 16

Noted scholar and intellectual juggernaut, Bristol Palin posted a pro-life image macro on her Facebook page the other day. Since one of my friends reposted it, I got to see it. Since I got to see it, you have to suffer through this rant. Just a heads up, I’m not here to change anyone’s mind about abortion, just to pick apart this stupid image:

So much is wrong up there, I’m not sure where to begin. I guess I’ll start with the obvious. Yes it is illegal for me to destroy some eagle’s egg. However, it would also be illegal for me to abort some lady’s pregnancy. Despite the text, “legal to kill for any reason,” I would not be within my legal rights to do so. A woman can decide to terminate HER OWN pregnancy, but that’s not the same as “legal to kill for any reason.” Conversely, if an eagle decided to destroy her own egg, she would be allowed to. The law in question does not apply to the eagle who laid the egg. It helps to compare apples to apples.

Then there’s the language the picture uses. The egg is “destroyed” but the fetus is “killed.” So which is it? Either the egg (or rather the contents within) is alive or the fetus isn’t. If you can’t even decide when life begins on your own image, how can you lecture the rest of us on it?

The issue of taxpayer money used to fund abortion providers is too thorny for me to get into here. But I want to go on the record as saying that part did not impress me either.

Ugh…it’s easy to pick a part most of these image macros, because by design they over simplify a subject to make a point. However, this one really sucked so I had to take it to task.

So far the pro-life crowd has taken the brunt of my criticism, but I must say the pro-choice people did not do themselves any favors in the comments section. In the interest of being fair and mocking everyone, let’s take a look at a couple of these gems.

Ok all you people that believe this subject are nuts worry about some’n else. And a eagle is endangered and I’ll take more of them over more idiots in this world

This was a prevalent argument in the comments. Basically saying that eagles are endangered so we have to protect them, but humans are abundant, so we can just scrap fetuses willy-nilly. If your pro-choice argument is “Eh, we have enough humans already. We don’t need any more,” your argument sucks. That’s the kind of crappy argument a parent gives a kid when he wants a new toy. “You already have lots of toys.”

Yes. Abortion is murder, but we established a long time ago that there are acceptable conditions under which we can exterminate human life. If the State is allowed to do it, surely a woman should be allowed to do it with something that is barely human…You don’t like abortions. Don’t have one.

Woah. Wait, what? I always thought the pro-choice side’s argument was that the fetus is not a person until it reached a certain stage of development. To them, abortion is ok because it’s not “Killing” a person, it’s preventing a life before it is actually alive. But this chucklehead wants to change the argument to, “Yeah it’s alive, but f*** it, I say we kill it anyway.” That seems like undefendable position. If he’s trying to say that murder is ok, then why not kill a newborn, or a toddler, or a full grown person for that matter?

At least the pro-life side’s motives are easy to understand. The pro-life side believes that as soon as the sperm hits the egg, that’s a life in there. The reason they are so adamant and passionate is because they believe they are protecting a defenseless human being. I may not agree with that point of view, but I can certainly understand and respect it. Certainly more so than being ok with baby murder. Baby murder is one of my least favorite things…right up there with grown up murder, puppy murder, and the Hans Zimmer Man of Steel theme. (Priorities)

8 Responses to “Priorities”

  1. DeanNo Gravatar Says:

    A) Nice deconstruction of the meme and it’s detractors
    B) NICER anti-Zimmer comment slipped in at the end

    You’re doin’ it

  2. JackNo Gravatar Says:

    I am not very impressed by your analysis. First, it is illegal for _anyone_ to destroy an eagle egg, for any reason, at any time. At the same time, it is _legal_ in all 50 states for a licensed practitioner to _kill_ a human fetus; unlike eagle eggs, human fetuses are not a protected form of life. Instead of comparing the life-potency of the eagle egg and the fetus (and I agree they are different cases), you should consider the larger point: both are lives in their earliest (nascent) stages; one is an animal (illegal to destroy) and the other is a person.

  3. Tim Babb (TANcast's #1 Host/Editor Fan)No Gravatar Says:

    Well, Jack, you are certainly free to be unimpressed with my analysis. But by the same token, I am unimpressed with your analysis of my analysis missing MY larger point.

    I guess we’ll just agree to disagree…or agree to be unimpressed with each other.

  4. JackNo Gravatar Says:

    Can you give reasons for your disagreement, or is this just going to be about your feelings?

  5. JackNo Gravatar Says:

    The single most important — and scientifically proven — truth in this discussion is that from the moment the male gamete (sperm) fuses with the female gamete (egg), a unique human being with his or her own DNA, different from those of his mother and father, is present. After fertilization, there are 46 chromosomes (or 47 in the case of Down Syndrome) where there were two sets of 23 chromosomes before. The resulting being is genetically human and alive, and therefore, by standard biological definition, a human being. This is a fact. If you are still in doubt, look at the photo of the 7-week-old fetus in the poster above. What does it look like to you?

    Now, if you want to defend a woman’s right to abortion, you would have to agree that in aborting the baby, the mother and the abortionist and all those who are facilitating the abortion are intentionally taking the life of an innocent human being. The standard term for that action is “murder,” which is considered a crime in every civilization that has ever existed.

    Legalized abortion is the greatest human rights crime of human history, and it is applied overwhelmingly in the USA against African-Americans, making it profoundly racist as well.

  6. Tim Babb (TANcast's #1 Host/Editor Fan)No Gravatar Says:

    I love that you came here thinking “I’m going to change this dude’s opinion about abortion. I’m going to spout ‘facts’ that he’s no doubt heard a million times before…but since it’s coming from ME this time, he’ll be all turned around.”

    Look, friend-o, as I said at the top of the blog, I’m not trying to change anyone’s opinion about abortion here. This is (in theory) a comedy website. Let’s let the high school debate team handle the debates. It’s what they do…it’s right in their name.

  7. JackNo Gravatar Says:

    I cannot change your opinion about anything; only you can do that (subject of course to your ability to reason, evaluate evidence, and make judgements). But if you think mass murder is a subject fit only for a high school debate team, you do indeed make Bristol Palin look like an “intellectual juggernaut.” Maybe you are using your idea of comedy as a shield to keep the truth at bay. If so, watch out: the Hound of Heaven may be gaining on you.

  8. Tim Babb (TANcast's #1 Host/Editor Fan)No Gravatar Says:

    Jack…you’ve almost done it…you’ve almost changed my opinion. Just insult my intelligence and threaten me with hell a little more and that outta do it. If you need me, I’ll be hiding behind my comedy shield.

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