Two halves make one beautiful black whole…


Raiders of the Lost TAN: The Blog – Part 1

October 17th, 2011 . by Tim Babb (TANcast's #1 Host/Editor Fan)

Day 17:

TANcast 171 was lost…but one brave soul dares to sift through the ruins to find the treasures that were thought to be gone forever…

One of the things lost from the show was the triumphant return of Noah’s “Don’t Masturbate in the Kitchen” segment. Here is the transcript from that part of the show…

NOAH: I have a little recipe that I cooked.

TIM: Oh shit!!!

ANDY: It’s the return

TIM: I was just thinking we haven’t had one of these in a while.

NOAH: So here it is, I’m going to link you to it. I actually have a picture too that’s on my Facebook in case anyone wants to see how it turns out the way I did it. So, I followed the base of this recipe and then I modified it. So I pretty much did everything it said to do in the recipe but I also added some frozen peas I had…and some spinach I had. And then I didn’t save any basil for garnish, I just put it all in there. ‘Cause I don’t really like uncooked basil as a garnish. I don’t really like garnish in general. Like, garnish you’re not supposed to eat right? Or are you supposed to eat it?

TIM: As far as I know it’s just there to look pretty.

ANDY: Otherwise it’d just be “food.”

NOAH: Um…so yeah. It’s called “Angel Hair Pasta with Mushroom, Basil…” OH! I also didn’t use angel hair pasta I used Soba noodles which are used buckwheat noodles. A little better for you…

TIM: Otay!

NOAH: So there you go. Yeah, it came out very tasty. I liked it. It will definitely be something I will be making again. Actually I will have another recipe next week. It’s actually a recipe I have been making…I just haven’t talked about it on here. So I’ll talk about that next week.

ANDY: Kudos

NOAH: Oh I will say, I do think I cooked the noodles too a little long, they’re a little soft. Next time I would not cook them so long

ANDY: Or show ’em some noodle porn.

NOAH: Make ’em firm up.

So here’s the picture from Noah’s Facebook of his version:

Look at it! Delicious…

Here is the photo from the actual recipe (for those of you too lazy to click over there.)

That looks yummy too doesn’t it? So then I tried to make this tonight. The problem is the recipe is not very specific. You’re supposed to use “a good glug” of something or “a few” of something else and then cook it “until the tomatoes are lightly softened, but not mushed.” How about some NUMBERS fool?! How many tablespoons, how many minutes? Because mine turned out like this…

Attractive? No. But fortunately it was indeed very tasty. So enjoy that and until next time, “Don’t Masturbate in te Kitchen!”

3 Responses to “Raiders of the Lost TAN: The Blog – Part 1”

  1. GeoffNo Gravatar Says:

    All I can think about now is noodle porn, because I can’t figure out what noodle porn would actually look like.

  2. Jesus(fomally Latino Jess)No Gravatar Says:

    “Too a little long”, did he really say that or is that another typo? Just wondering.

  3. Todd (TANcast's #1 Fan forwarding nudie emails!)No Gravatar Says:

    It looks like he meant he “also” cooked the noodles too long. At least that’s what I’m hoping…. 🙂

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