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Dear “Birthers”

August 4th, 2009 . by Andy (TANcast's #1 Ear-Rapist)

Because Orly Taitz can’t read, I offer the following open letter to all “birthers” and related fucktards who insist, at great volume and with absurd conviction, that Barack Obama is not eligible to be President of the United States as he is not a “a natural born Citizen” (see Article Two, Section 1, Clause 5 of the US Constitution).

Section 1 of the Fourteenth Amendment to the United States Constitution states:

All persons born or naturalized in the United States, and subject to the jurisdiction thereof, are citizens of the United States and of the State wherein they reside. No State shall make or enforce any law which shall abridge the privileges or immunities of citizens of the United States; nor shall any State deprive any person of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws.

Please note the “born … in the United States” part.

In 1898, the Supreme Court ruled that under the terms of that Amendment, two non-citizens who aren’t diplomats or otherwise working on behalf of their home country and who live and work in the US, will give birth to US citizens while on US soil.

Read that again: It says two NON-citizens.

Obama had a natural-born mom, a (legally) resident dad, and a birth on US soil.

Only that last part matters.

PS: Happy Birthday, President Obama. Get some cake, and then get back to fixing health care. And the economy. And that leak in my roof.

3 Responses to “Dear “Birthers””

  1. Teresa Says:

    Mwahaha! Nice job, Andy!

    And in my best Marilyn Monroe voice, Happy Birthday….Mr. President *wink*

  2. Bryce (Tancasts #3 Fan) Says:

    I’m really happy to see you guys blogging this much!

  3. Jess (Facts #1 Fan) Says:

    Give ’em hell Andy!!!!

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