April 9th, 2014 . by Tim Babb (TANcast's #1 Host/Editor Fan)
Tim Babb’s April Foolishness
Day 9
In the spirit of my commitment to replace the misogynist term “bitch” with the gender neutral insult, “qumph,” I’ve started looking at other ways I use language that could use some improvement. I found one in my own stand up act.
I have a joke in my act about getting old….well it’s actually about MySpace vs Facebook as a metaphor for getting old. In part of the joke, I lament how I miss the women on MySpace because they were, “whores” who posted scantily clad pictures of themselves where as the women on Facebook just post boring pictures of food an their kids.
The point of the joke (and man does this process of analyzing the joke drain all the comedy right out of it) was that there aren’t two different types of women. My friend list from MySpace just got older and their priorities shifted. I can’t blame you for not believing me after reading this explanation of the joke, but it usually gets a pretty good laugh.
But recently, I was re-listening to an old set of mine where I told this joke and it sounded overly misogynistic to my ear*. So I’m thinking about revisiting the language of this joke. Specifically, I’d like to remove the word “whores” as a descriptor of the MySpace ladies. I think it makes it sound like I’m disparaging them for taking scantily clad photos…which I would never want to do for anyone. I’m not a fan of the term “slut shaming,” but I feat this might be the message folks are left with when they hear my joke. Which is unfortunate, because the message I’m trying to convey is the opposite. So how do I go about changing the language from slut shaming to slut celebrating? And will that even matter as the point of view of the joke could be viewed as, “women only have value when they dress sexy for my amusement?” This is, again, not my point. Women have much to value. Sexy dressing is just a “bonus,” if you will. An extra thing that I got used to (in the “story” of this joke) that is now gone.
I’m sure that comedians reading this are appalled that I would worry about my jokes offending people. (I’m totally kidding…no comedians are reading this.) That is also not what I’m worried about. My act is a representation of me….who I am, and what I believe in. So by taking a critical look at how I present my opinions of women on stage, I am actually taking a closer look at the misogynistic traits of Tim the guy. If I can see them in the act, maybe I can see them in me and hopefully correct them and be the dude I want to be and the example that my son deserves.
Thus completes the least funny thing ever written about comedy. Nailed it!
*This has NOTHING to do with Suey Park. In fact, if I knew she hated this joke the way it is, I would open with it every time just so she’d leave my show)
(I added the watermark because this entry is technically their property now)
So to me, the joke is just “don’t put too many bumper stickers on your car. It will mess up the paint.” But others in the comment section assumed I had a more political agenda. If you notice, the stickers all have a left leaning political bent. So some folks thought I was saying that liberal bumper stickers specifically will lower the resale value of your car.
It’s fine if people think that. I can’t control my joke after I’ve released it into the wild…but it got me thinking. Did the judges pick this entry based on the joke I intended to make or the joke I accidentally made by picking this random image of a car with liberal bumper stickers on it.
Then I remembered that $100 spends the same either way! WOO HOO!!!
April 7th, 2014 . by Tim Babb (TANcast's #1 Host/Editor Fan)
Tim Babb’s April Foolishness
Day 7
I’ve finally gotten around to starting our taxes (because my wife says we can’t see Captain America 2 until we get our taxes done…responsible adulthood sucks) and I know I’m not the first to have this opinion, but I HATE TAXES.
Not in a right wing, “Keep your dirty government hands of my damn money” kinda way.
And not in a left wing, “I don’t want my taxes dollars to support your bloody wars and torture” kinda way.
It’s not about the money at all…I just really hate all this stupid paper work I have to do! C’mon, Uncle Sam! You make our employers and banking institutions record all our payment data and then they send us a stupid form and then we enter the info onto another stupid form and send it to you. Why can’t they just send the forms to you and you can figure this crap out? I don’t have time for all this 1040-A, W2, 1099-INT…am I paying taxes or is this some Star Wars droid fan fic?! Just figure out how much you need and send me a bill.
Hey Tim we took $1,069.88 for your taxes this year. If you want to contest this, you can deal with all this BS paperwork. But we’re betting you’d rather just cut us a check and go back to binge watching Justice League Unlimited on Netflix.
-The Government
You would win that bet, government. You would win that bet.
April 6th, 2014 . by Tim Babb (TANcast's #1 Host/Editor Fan)
This week Andy’s Whitness gets hm out of trouble, Noah finishes Breaking Bad, and Tim hates ants. Then it’s Zardoz vs. Barb Wire in the “Worst. Movie. Ever. Tournament.”
00:00 – 01:12 Pre show
01:12 – 06:11 Intro
06:11 – 35:17 How the #$%* was your week?
35:17 – 55:07 Worst. Movie. Ever. Tournament
55:07 – 56:31 Wrap Up
56:31 – 57:24 ?????
[CONTENT WARNING]TANcast features mature language and immature hosts but is NOT a representation of the stand up act of Tim Babb. Listener discretion is advised.
April 6th, 2014 . by Tim Babb (TANcast's #1 Host/Editor Fan)
Tim Babb’s April Foolishness
Day 6
As often happens on the podcast, I forgot something until after we were done recording. This time, I have more to add about the suck that is Barb Wire.
First off, I wish I had grabbed the trailer audio BEFORE we recorded. YOu may have noticed that it didn’t have a lot of talking. Observe:
Her acting was SO bad they only dared to put two of her spoken lines in the trailer! Even then, when she says, “Don’t…call me babe.” It sounds less “bad ass” and more “awkward class presentation.”
The other thing is the main bad guy. The one I mentioned says “This reminds me of my favorite song, ‘I Got You Babe*'” before Barb Wire gives her super-awesome catch phrase again. What I failed to mention is that for most of the movie, he is an ice cold, emotionless evil guy. But then in the last act some one flipped a switch on that dude and he went bonkers! Just over the top acting that Jim Carrey would be proud of…or maybe ashamed of. I’m not quite sure.
Okay…that’s it. Not ground breaking but two more jabs at that movie before we rip the next batch of flicks a new one. Sooner or later we’re going to have to stop round one and start pitting the winners against each other. So if there’s a bad movie you think needs to be in this contest, be sure and let us know before it’s too late.
*Also Andy’s joke, “Our land could be decimated by civil war, it would still not remove from our consciousness the wonder and majesty that is Sonny and Cher,” deserved a much bigger laugh than it got. I laughed quite heartily when I was editing the show together. Way to go, Andy!
April 4th, 2014 . by Tim Babb (TANcast's #1 Host/Editor Fan)
Tim Babb’s April Foolishness
Day 4
I’m sitting on the couch watching my movie for this week’s “Worst. Movie. Ever. Tournament,” (which really sucks, by the way) but something has been gnawing at me for the past few weeks. A comedian friend of mine posted on her Facebook…
Please stop whistling in stores. Thank you.
I don’t know why it peeves me so, but I find it completely irritating and it gives me a small anxiety attack, which, (if legal and I was a complete jackass) would cause me to throw full pickle bottles at the person. Unless at work/social fun and havin’ a ball, I prefer quiet, quiet, quiet.
This irked me because I love to whistle. Especially when I’m out shopping. Is there a happier way to make noise than whistling? Who hates that? Hates it to the point where they want to throw pickles at people? (And why pickles?) But this comic is not alone. I’ve had co-workers tell me to stop whistling before. And it’s not like I’ve ever worked in a “serious” office setting. Oh…and it should be noted, I’m a kick-ass whistler. Don’t even come at me, friend. I will whistle your face off…more than likely to the tune of the Superman theme.
But it just boggles my mind that people could hate whistling that much.
So I put it to you, dear readers…whistling love it or hate it?
April 3rd, 2014 . by Tim Babb (TANcast's #1 Host/Editor Fan)
Tim Babb’s April Foolishness
Day #3
So in addition to the ants from yesterday, my son seems to be coming down with a cold…and he’s apparently contagious, because now I’m getting one too. So that means it’s an image blog day.
So I’m going to get some rest while you enjoy this text conversation I had with Andy and Noah a few days ago. Night night!
April 2nd, 2014 . by Tim Babb (TANcast's #1 Host/Editor Fan)
Tim Babb’s April Foolishness
Day 2
California has been getting some much needed rain recently. Which is great…except that it keeps driving the ants into my house. Every time I turn around I see one or two crawling around or a big group of them fighting over some crumb. Look, ants, I know I’m supposed to not have food out, but I have a 2 year-old. He’s messy. Leave his mess alone.
Where are they even coming from? Normally when you have ants there’s a trail of them that you can follow back to the point where they’re getting in. These are some ninja ants that just keep showing up out of no where in the middle of rooms, on counter tops, in my nightmares. Go the hell away!!!
Why do they even come in the house? Every time I find an ant I kill it. None of theme have escaped this house. They have all died by my hand. I’m the Jason Voorhees of the ant world. In fact, if this was a horror movie, these would be the dumbest characters ever! There’s a big house. Every time someone goes in, they never come out. But yet they keep saying, “Let’s go check it out.” Sure enough, they get squished, poisoned, and (in rare cases) burned to death. Its like an ant Saw movie up in here and they just keep coming. I will kill as many ants as I have to.
DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Next on my s*** list, spiders. The only reason I let you freaky looking bastards live is that you’re supposed to eat other bugs. What ‘s the deal with all these ants? Did you suddenly go vegan?! When I’m done with the ants, you’re next!
UPDATE: Since posting this, the ant war has reached a new level. I found one crawling in my ear. IN MY F***ING EAR!!! If I hadn’t had my ear buds in, he might have made it all the way inside. NOT COOL, ANTS! They are really stepping up their game. I’ll slaughter a batch in one location, then find more in another. Then when I go back to the first location, more have come to take the place of their fallen, evil ant brothers! It’s almost 2am! I should be sleeping not fighting this ant war.
April 1st, 2014 . by Tim Babb (TANcast's #1 Host/Editor Fan)
Tim Babb’s April Foolishness
Day 1
I’m at it again. I’ll be blogging everyday this month in order to bring a little more content to this site.
However the downside, to starting a series of blogs on April 1st is that people might not believe me. Especially with all the wacky tricks Andy has pulled on this site over the last 5 years. But I swear, I’m really gonna blog. I’ve had many ideas rattling around in my head since I stopped blogging regularly last year and it’s time to let them run amok.
But right now the main news I have to report is that I’ve become obsessed with the Pharrell Williams song “Happy.” I don’t listen to the radio, so it’s not really surprising that this was no where on my radar until the Oscars. Even then it didn’t really grab me. But then I was in my wife’s car (who foolishly listens to the radio everyday) and it came on and I just started dancing involuntarily.
So then I then I sought the video for the song out and found out that there is a 24-Hour version of the video. HOLY $#@%!!! The same song plays over and over for 24 hours straight. That’s crazy. But what’s crazier is that the song is so enjoyable that if I didn’t have sleep and work, and family getting in my face, I could totally listen to this song for 24 straight hours. I’ve been listening to it the entire time I’ve been writing this blog.
So I’ll throw a link to the 5pm hour of the 24 hour video (the one with all the celebrities in it). Because on this day of mean spirited pranks, you’ve gotta have something to keep you [puts on sunglasses] “happy!”
