TANcast

Arrrr matey! Today be talk like a pirate day! And that suits me fine as I am already starting to prep my house for Halloween. I want to make my whole front yard into a pirate scene. I’ve already started getting props from various places. So the other day, my inflatable skeleton arrived. Yay!

Great! Just what I wanted, now all I have to do is blow it up.

Wait… Is that?

Um yeah, that’s the nozzle I’ve gotta blow the air in. It’s right on the skeletons butt. Really, inflatable skeleton company? That was your best idea? Now I gotta swab this pirate’s poop deck just to inflate the dang thing? Well, forget that…

Of course I did it! Boney butts drive me nuts!

Today’s product is the perfect wrapping paper for any occasion. It’s the pattern of that green screen that tells you a movie trailer is about to happen. I’ve changed it to say a present is about to happen. Genius, yes? No? Fine.

Well it’s available in several sizes and glossy, linen, or photo gloss. Enjoy…

Movie Preview Screen Wrapping Paper by TANcast
Look at gift wrap online at Zazzle

Sorry…running behind again thanks to my archaic desktop of doom. I guess a computer I bought back when Noah and I were still roommates is a little out of date. Speaking of out of date, check out this spam post we got on the blog the other day…

Really? Your “new” iPhone 4? THAT’S what you’re trying to sell me? Great, how’s life back in 2009? My phone is newer than the 4 and I feel like it’s going to be out of date any second now. I dunno, maybe you outta update your spam bots more than once every few years. Just a thought.

Here’s another thought: today’s product is once again for the ladies! (Except you can totally change it to be a man’s shirt in the settings…so there’s that)

Is That a Euphemisim? T Shirts by TANcast

So, as mentioned yesterday, my laptop’s USB port is no longer working. And since I don’t have the skills/patience to design products with the touch pad mouse I had to fire up the ol’ desktop.

Holy crap this thing is outdated. It’s still running Windows XP. Microsoft stopped supporting this thing back in April. When I go to lauch a webpage, I have to go and make a sandwich, eat it, and poop it out before it loads. I worry by the time this blog posts I’ll have been dead for 5 years…my skeleton just banging on the “refresh” button for all eternity.

I’ll just drop today’s product and get out while I can.

I Say Stupid Things Tshirt by TANcast

…it’s kinda hard being B-A double B!

This blog is late today because I spent all of last night trying to fix my stupid computer.

My laptop has stopped recognizing my USB ports. I can’t plug in my iPhone, my external hard drive, or even my damn mouse!

I spent hours googling suggestions for how to fix this problem. Every single one has failed.

My favorite was trying the Microsoft USB troubleshooter. I ran it and it said, “We detected no problems so we didn’t do jack shit. Screw you and you mouse, Tim Babb. We hate you!”

Wow, no need to get personal, Microsoft.

One bright spot has been Andrew (TANcast’s #[square root of -1] fan). I ranted about this USB issue on Twitter and Facebook (like I always do) and he reached out to try and help.

By that I don’t mean he sent one link and said, “good luck.” I mean, this dude has been walking me step by step, comment after comment through troubleshooting this problem. I have limited experience with tech support, but what little I had was not fun. I can’t imagine doing it in my off time for some chuckle headed podcaster.

So thank you, Andrew. I am very, very grateful for your help.

And since I haven’t been able to use my mouse, I haven’t created a new product for today…BUT I created this one a while ago and didn’t publicize it much…so I’m counting it as today’s product. (My blog, my rules)

We're All Going To Die (Someday) T-Shirt by TANcast

In coming up with ideas for products, I’ve been listening to old episodes of the show as well as checking out old blogs. Then I came across this blog I did back in 2012 about War on Christmas propaganda posters. And I thought, “Those need to be Christmas cards!”

And now, they are…

Santa Needs Your Help/War On Chistmas Card by TANcast

Uncle Santa Wants You Card by TANcast

Someone Said "Happy Holidays" Card by TANcast

Say "Merry Christmas" Or Shut Your Face Card by TANcast

Silence is Better Than "Happy Holidays" Card by TANcast

We recorded our 300th episode yesterday and I just finished editing it. I hope you will all like it. It should be a fun one for long term listeners as well as a good jumping on point for people who for some reason read these blogs but don’t listen to the show. (That’s got to be a pretty small group of you, right?)

We had a guest on…which was super awesome, by the way. It was Noah’s friend, Robin, who we mentioned a few weeks ago. She’s the first female guest we’ve ever had on TANcast…who wasn’t related to Andy. As you’ll hear, she was a lot of fun and we hope to have her on again soon.

But I have to tell you this was a rough one to edit. We had problems during the recording and there was a bunch of stuff I had to fix once I got everyone’s audio together. But, unlike past episodes of the show where we’ve had problems like these, this one actually ended up sounding pretty good. After 6 years and 300 shows, we just might be figuring this out. Its not about doing things right, it’s about knowing how to make it SOUND LIKE you did things right.

And for today’s product, we’ve got a quote from Noah’s friend as well as the first $hoptember product specifically for the ladies…

Cougar on Board T Shirt by TANcast

This week we celebrate our 300th episode with special guest, Robin! We talk about the origins of how the boys all got together and we spiral off on many tangents…just like the good ol’ days!

00:00 – 05:43 Pre-show (Robin learns the ropes)
05:43 – 22:05 Intro/TANcast Origin Story
22:05 – 25:43 Let’s Get Political
25:43 – 34:23 TANlaughs (Listener submitted jokes)
34:23 – 44:47 Kids Shows (Muppets/Looney Tunes/Etc.)
44:47 – 47:31 Technical Difficulties
47:31 – 51:27 Listener Email
51:27 – 52:42 Kicking My Feet (Stories about our kids)
52:42 – 62:32 How the F*** Was Everyone’s Week?
62:32 – 85:58 Longest. Wrap-Up. EVER.
85:58 – 89:14 ????

[CONTENT WARNING] TANcast features mature language and immature hosts but is NOT a representation of the stand up act of Tim Babb. Listener discretion is advised.
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Am I right?

So in a lot of horror movies that involve ghosts, the ghosts are trying to kill people.

But then if the person died, wouldn’t they just become a ghost too?

Why don’t we ever see a movie where a ghosts kills a dude and then the dude becomes a ghost and immediately starts kicking the crap out of the ghost that killed him.

Now let’s talk “real” ghosts. Some people swear ghosts exist. Ok fine…why is there no proof? I’m not talking Ghost Hunters’ shaky night cam footage kinda proof. I mean why haven’t ghosts held a press conference?

“Hey we’re real. We’ve come to haunt you. No further questions BOO!!!”

If ghosts are real, why are they hiding? What are they afraid of? I’m pretty sure of a ghost showed up right now, I wouldn’t be able to do anything harmful to him or her. Read the rest of this entry »

I shaved and got a haircut yesterday. (Not at the same time) I feel like a totally different person. I dunno why. In my head I look completely different with the long hair and stubble. You be the judge.

It’s like Clark Kent and Superman; I can’t even tell they’re the same guy. Am I right? no? Moving on.

I got my favorite kind of barber last night. The ones that don’t even try to make small talk. I love that. I have no desire to try and entertain the barber with amusing stories about my life. Do you really care what I’m doing this weekend? No. I’m the one doing it and I barely care. Are we about to become BFFs or something? No. Just trim my stupid hair up.

Ironically, I think barbers chit chat like that to establish a repertoire so they can get bigger tips, but I always tip way more if I can just sit in the chair in awkward silence. The way the lord intended.

Today’s product is kind of a novelty item. It’s a set of party favor boxes. Like you know when you throw a party and you give everyone a goody bag? This replaces the bag part and steps up your production value a notch. Now designing party supplies isn’t really my thing, but I noticed one of the styles was that of a Chinese food take out box and I thought, “I think it’s time to bring back the ol’ ‘TSE’ gag.”

If you don’t remember, there was a restaurant in China that attempted to translate their name into English and the result was a sign that said, “Translate Severe Error.” And WAAAAAY back in episode 11 of the show, I thought that would be a funny name for a real restaurant (it’s about 6 minutes in). Well thanks to the TANstore, you can pretend it is…

TSE Take Out Style Gift Box Favor Boxes by TANcast

The dangerous thing about Throwback Thursday is that I often fall down a rabbit hole of thumbing through old pictures. For instance, this photo is of me when Andy and I were moving out of our old apartment to move IN to the TANhouse…

I look at that picture and I think, “Man, I miss those abs.” Then I make a shirt:

I Miss My Younger Self’s Metabolism Shirt by TANcast

After that, I thumb through some of the other photos from that moving day. Let me warn you, they are not for the faint of heart. Andy and I were not what you’d call “clean people.” In fact, you’d call us slobs. We had no girlfriends to impress and it showed all over our apartment. In fact, that thing I’m stabbing with the pool cue is a mountain of trash. But it’s only one of 3 piles from our move out day.

The next photos are from our kitchen. Again, if you can’t handle advanced levels of slovenly filth, please exit the blog now. Ok you’ve been warned Read the rest of this entry »