TANcast

This “special” episode features a special message from “Grammar Girl” Mignon Fogarty*, a few musical surprises, and several voice mail messages. Hope this tides y’all over ’til our next real show.

*(Mignon Fogarty’s audio appears out of context and does not accurately reflect the views or opinions of Mignon Fogarty. You can hear the full context quote(s) here: http://behindthegrammar.com/2009/07/btg005-are-movie-studios-killing-podcasting/ God, I hope she thinks this is funny. Otherwise I am in some deep, grammatically correct trouble!)

No TANlaughs this week, but send your jokes and/or e-mails to all of us at:
fucktards(at)TANcast.com or YourMom(at)TANcast.com

Vote for TANcast at Podcast Alley:
http://podcastalley.com/one_vote2.php?pod_id=67598

[CONTENT WARNING] TANcast features mature language and immature hosts. Listener discretion is advised.

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Below is a poem I wrote back in high school. It is amazingly lame. It is so bad that it is now funny. I share it with you all so you can know that I was not always the swave, smooth word-smith that you all know and love…..yeah I actually used to be WORSE! I used to be this guy…

And now…”The Beautiful Angel Hol-ly (Holly)”

I remember the time I saw her first
It was the fall of ’91.
That was when she stole my heart
And my Feelings for her begun

It was early morning in the library
When I looked across the room and did see
The most wonderful girl in the world
The beautiful angel Holly.

Her beauty was unmatched by any.
Imperfections and flaws she had none.
Her flowing blonde hair, her sparkling eyes
Admired by everyone. Read the rest of this entry »

This week: Noah’s mic continues to suck, Tim and Andy have a Star Trek moment, Noah gets one step closer to being a home owner, Tim has anger issues, the boys continue to be disturbed by internet phenomena like 2 girls 1 cup, the boys find the upside to jury duty, the joys of chocolate milk and ice cream, what to do with plastic grocery bags, the myth of break up sex, and…other crap…who really reads this shit?

This week’s TANlaughs were submitted by Ron Swallow, Jason, and Todd.
Send your jokes and/or e-mails to all of us at:
fucktards(at)TANcast.com or YourMom(at)TANcast.com

Vote for TANcast at Podcast Alley:
http://podcastalley.com/one_vote2.php?pod_id=67598

[CONTENT WARNING] TANcast features mature language and immature hosts. Listener discretion is advised.

Read the rest of this entry »

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Fmylife is a great site. We’ve talked about it on the podcast before but I never stopped to think of another level to that website. But then I recently tumbled upon this gem on Fmylife.com.

“Today, I thought I was home alone so I went to take a shower and left my door open. My dog came in, stole my bra, and ran out of my bathroom. I jumped out and followed him only to find out that my brother had two of his friends over. They all saw me naked and my dog had my bra in his mouth. FML”

That sucks for that lady…but if there was a website called “mylifeisfingawesome.com,” you might see an entry like this:

“Today I was totally schooling my buddy in Fight Night Round 4 on his PS3 when all of a sudden his adorable dog comes running in the room with a bra in his mouth…followed closely by his naked sister and her glistening wet boobies. MLIFA”

So I sat glued to the TV this morning watching the Memorial Service of Michael Jackson. I had Twitter open as I watched and as such, my irrelevant cometary is recorded for posterity…

Tim Babb is recording MJ’s Memorial on MSNBC AND CNN. Overkill? Perhaps. Don’t judge me.

Headline News just said MJ set the stage for us electing a Black president. WTF?! I like MJ, but let’s calm down.

It’s official. MJ was black….his memorial service is on CPT

How awesome would it be if MJ popped out of the coffin and did the Thriller dance? (Sick? Maybe…but funny)

You have to know other 80’s artist are watching MJ’s memorial today going, “I ain’t getting NOTHING like this when I die. *sigh*”

aw….I think Mariah is a little choked up…that’s kinda touching. Too bad everyone will just say she can’t sing

Did Stevie Wonder just say he wished he didn’t live to SEE this moment? Burying the lead aren’t you, Stevie? Since when can you SEE?!!

It’s official again, MJ was Black! According to Magic Johnson he enjoyed Kentucky Fried Chicken!

Will You Be There….such an appropriate and underrated song. Nice touch with MJ’s actual voice over…ah crap…Al Sharpton just came on

Ok, now Al Sharpton is trying to say that MJ somehow made it possible for a Black president. …please let’s just be sad a great artist died

Wow…say what you will, Sharpton gives good speech. Did I just compliment Al Sharpton?! I need a nap

Aw…Brooke Shields…fighting tears…heart breaking. Side note: Holy CRAP she’s hot! I know…inappropriate…but true!

Oh good…this congresswoman wants to pass a bill saying MJ was a legend. It’s ok Congress, you fix the economy, we’ll honor MJ. We got this

WTF? Did Usher just rip off MJ’s signature “fake cry” at the end of the song? That’s MJ’s cheesy bit, sir! Don’t touch his coffin…ewwww

I apologize to those following me who have no interest in MJ or his memorial…but this is what’s on my mind today

Who the hell is Shaheen Jafargholi? They couldn’t get a Jonas Brother for this?

Oh…it turns out I’m a douche bag and Shaheen is somebody that MJ really admired

Geez how old am I getting? I don’t recognize any of these people singing “We Are The World”

Where are my fellow Lincoln High School Alumni who remember “Heal The World” every Friday over the PA in ’92-’93?

Can someone spare a heart? Marlon Jackson just ripped mine out of my chest

Paris Jackson brings it all home…she didn’t lose an “icon.” She lost her daddy. I’m glad I didn’t get to go I would have wept like a baby

Holy crap! CNN actually talked about Iran, Obama, Putin, and Honduras…for almost 3 whole minutes. Way to go CNN! Now back to MJ!!!

Wolf Blitzer “thinks” Paris crying at the end of the memorial was an unscripted moment. No, she rehearsed crying about her dead dad…idiot!

If you’re intersted in hearing more of my irrelevant thoughts in 140 characters or less, follow me on Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/timbabbcomedian

This week: Tim misses Michael Jackson, the TANboys celebrate the 4th of July, Sarah Palin is easy to mock, tales of anal tears (or tears), “fun” with fireworks, Noah’s sexy voice is too much for his computer, Crispin Glover is weird, a serious reminder to get your prostate checked, brown water, reality TV sucks for every race, and the Jonas Brothers annoy Andy.

This week’s TANlaughs were submitted by Nick, Jo, and Emily.
Send your jokes and/or e-mails to all of us at:
fucktards(at)TANcast.com or YourMom(at)TANcast.com

Vote for TANcast at Podcast Alley:
http://podcastalley.com/one_vote2.php?pod_id=67598

[CONTENT WARNING] TANcast features mature language and immature hosts. Listener discretion is advised.

Read the rest of this entry »

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A little bit of TANcomedy to tide y’all over ’til we can record tomorrow. Happy 4th of July!

If you follow me on Twitter, you may have seen this…

But there are so many little details that put the “F” in this F My Life that I need more than 140 characters to fully flesh out all the suck.

The day started off ok. I spent most of the day editing a new episode of TANcast and getting it posted. After I was done, I hopped in the Babbmobile and headed down to do my show in San Juan Capistrano. On the way down, the battery light came on in my car.

“Uh oh” Read the rest of this entry »

The TANboys salute the The King of Pop in their own way. But also catch some things that might have fallen through the cracks like the deaths of Farrah Fawcett and Ed McMahon, Iran hostilities, hypocritical cheating governors, Tim’s old boss giving his stamp of disapproval for TANcast, the perils of big boobs, an unseen/unseen/unseen review of Transformers 2, pranks pulled at the old TANhouse, Andy blowing no one’s mind with baby stories, Tim and Noah mocking the Crocs, and AT&T screwing a Myth Buster.

This week’s TANlaughs were submitted by Janelle, Mike, and Jo.
Send your jokes and/or e-mails to all of us at:
fucktards(at)TANcast.com or YourMom(at)TANcast.com

Vote for TANcast at Podcast Alley:
http://podcastalley.com/one_vote2.php?pod_id=67598

[CONTENT WARNING] TANcast features mature language and immature hosts. Listener discretion is advised.

Read the rest of this entry »

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I am a Michael Jackson fan. I have been for a long time. My mom recently reminded me that my school pictures in kindergarten and 1st grade were of me wearing the same Michael Jackson shirt. (“People must have thought you didn’t own any other clothes”) I used to recreate his dance moves in talent shows which probably lead to me making a lot of my friends in middle school, high school and college. (It was nice of him to release a new album every time I changed schools to help me fit in) So I am sad to see him go…but I must confess to feeling mixed emotions on the subject…

Michael Jackson was a good example of what can happen with too much fame. And let’s be clear…the man was a superstar! These last few years, he’s usually been the punchline to a plastic surgery and/or child molestation joke, but from 1979 to 1993 the man was HUGE. The Jonas Brothers are like a small indie band compared to the success he had. People who HATE America LOVE Michael Jackson. Reconcile THAT in your head! Some dude is burning an American flag while listening to “Billie Jean” on his iPod. Read the rest of this entry »