I’m actually a big horror wuss. I never liked to be scared, especially as a kid. I think it took 5 visits to Disneyland before I would open my eyes during the “hell” section of Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride. As such, I’ve manage to miss a lot of the classics of horror. When people stand around talking horror movies, as they tend to do this tie of year, I often chime in with, “I never saw that.” Then I get the pleasure of watching people look at me as if I just took a wiz in their Halloween candy. The reactions only get worse when I offer up a movie I have seen. So basically this is an opposite version of Doug Benson’s “Watch This, Not That.” …horror edition!
5. I’ve never seen: Halloween (1978)
Despite the fact that the killer is wearig Captain Kirk’s face, I’ve never seen any of this horror classic…except the parts they show in the movie Scream.
Yet somehow I HAVE seen: Halloween H20: 20 Years Later
I was working at a movie theater that was showing it and we all stayed late to watch it the night before it opened. I think because the name was so stupid, I felt it couldn’t be that scary. I don’t remember a thing about it except that [spoilers] L.L. Cool J. lives…which annoyed me at the time.
4. I’ve never seen: Friday the 13th
Another classic of the masked killer genre. I remember hearing braver kids than I talk about this movie at summer camp until the counselors made it a rule that we couldn’t. But it was too late, they had scared me off this movie for good.
Yet somehow I HAVE seen: Jason X
I was going to point out that I’ve seen the relatively recent remake, but I think it’s more embarrassing that I’ve seen Jason in space and not the original movie. In my defense, I had just been broken up with and Noah and Andy took me out for some mindless fun. (It helped)
3. I’ve never seen: Night of the Living Dead
This could really be ANYTHING of the Living Dead. I didn’t know I was so dead set on avoiding zombie movies specifically. But I looked up Wikipedia’s list of zombie movies, and of that list of 100 plus movies…I’ve seen exactly 5. I’ve seen World War Z, Resident Evil, Creepshow 2 (zombie movie? really?), Cabin in the Woods (Was there even a zombie in that movie?) and…
Yet somehow I HAVE seen: Dylan Dog: Dead of Night
This one I’m not even embarrassed about. I really like Brandon Routh and I wish he was in more things (like a sequel to Superman Returns NOT directed by Zack Snyder…but I digress). This movie was fun and totally underrated.
2. I’ve never seen: Nightmare on Elm Street
Technically, I think I’ve seen parts of this on broadcast tv, but I’ve never sat down and watched the whole thing. I even have a bit in my act now about how just seeing the back of the video box of part 2 scared me for life.
Yet somehow I HAVE seen: Wes Craven’s New Nightmare
Not only have I seen it, I have a copy on VHS. If you don’t know this movie, it’s the story about how Freddy Kruger comes into the “real world” and starts attacking the people who made the movie Nightmare on Elm Street. A bunch of the actors play themselves and the whole thing is very meta. And I’m sure I would be able to appreciate that if I had seen the original movie. But for some reason, teenage Tim really had a thing for Heather Lagencamp in this movie…so I had to have a copy of it. Pretty sure it’s still in my garage
1. I’ve never seen: Psycho (1960)
For a long time, the closest I came to seeing this movie was a clip they’d show during a demonstration at Universal Studios. Although, I might have actually seen this in a film class in college. Why aren’t I sure if Ive seen perhaps THE most classic horror film of all time? Well because…
Yet somehow I HAVE seen: Psycho (1998)
Yep! I was working at that same theater and we got this movie. So I actually saw the frame by frame remake before or instead of seeing Alfred Hitchcock’s original. I’m pretty sure I have to go to movie jail for that.