May Cause Anal Leakage


TANcast 186 – LA Is Better Waxed Than San Francisco

January 29th, 2012 . by Tim Babb (TANcast's #1 Host/Editor Fan)

This week you’ll hear things to do in San Francisco, Los Angeles, and Atlanta, plus Noah gets “laser eyes,” and Andy makes a big announcement.

[CONTENT WARNING] TANcast features mature language and immature hosts but is NOT a representation of the stand up act of Tim Babb. Listener discretion is advised.

Get official TANcast T-shirts, mugs, hats and more in the NEW official TANstore: http://www.zazzle.com/tancast

This week’s TANlaughs are from Gary, Jesus, and Jesus again!
Send in YOUR jokes to us at fucktards(at)TANcast.com or YourMom(at)TANcast.com


Tim’s Comedy CD


Michael Jackson Gets His Glove and Footprints Added to Grauman’s Chinese Theater

Leno Gets Sued For Romney Joke

“Batman” Gets His Ass Kicked in Vegas


31 Responses to “TANcast 186 – LA Is Better Waxed Than San Francisco”

  1. JennNo Gravatar Says:

    Okay, as an LA native who has visited San Francisco many times, I feel compelled to leave a ridiculously long comment here. Andy, you’re on your own with Atlanta.

    Los Angeles:
    Best beach for people-watching, walking, and having access to other activities (like an amusement park)–Santa Monica
    If you want to go hiking, anywhere in the Santa Monica Mountains is good, but Griffith Park is the most accessible for someone who doesn’t know the area. Besides having plenty of parking, there’s the Merry-go-Round, the zoo, the observatory, and the Autry Museum, which focuses on the history of the West and sells awesome cowboy shirts.
    If you’re interested in old Los Angeles, the neighborhoods around Griffith Park have a lot of old architecture, too.
    If you must hit the touristy spots, I would recommend Olvera Street and Chinatown over Hollywood. Hollywood is annoying–hard to park, dirty, and filled with people you don’t want anywhere near you. (And that’s coming from a librarian–I hang out with homeless people every day.)
    If you really want a “Hollywood” experience, go to Universal Studios!
    If you’re interested in history, visit Downtown. Visit during the day. Seriously. Do not go Downtown at night. Besides being dangerous, there’s only a three-block stretch of Figueroa Blvd that’ll have anything open. The Los Angeles Conservancy offers a lot of walking tours.
    If you’re a foodie and interested in nightlife… I have no suggestions.

    San Francisco:
    Go to the Exploratorium! I spent four hours there with a friend once. The Academy of Sciences is great, too, though not as hands-on as the Exploratorium.
    After the Walt Disney Family Museum, the greatest museum in San Francisco is the Musee Mecanique. It’s a big room full of orchestrions and automated dioramas. You pop in a quarter and hear a song, or watch a little doll get hanged, or watch a creepy little clown laugh.

  2. Jesus #1 Fucking Pie Dream KillerNo Gravatar Says:

    This is the benefit of having insomniatic tendencies. First off, never mind the 2012 comment, I just threw it in because of the possible apocalypse, but I really was expecting a second coming joke, it somehow seems more appropriate here then during a booty call. As for my nickname, Noah should know where it came from as he gave it to me. It was the High 5 Christmas songs episode, someone made a comment about fucking pie, as in pie that is fucking not being fucked, well by the singer/narrator/Jason Biggs, then I said I didn’t want to kill their dream and said pumpkin pie, and there you go.

  3. JennNo Gravatar Says:

    And wait, there’s more! About those costumed folks on Hollywood Blvd., they probably are the most interesting thing there, other than seeing a movie at the El Capitan (It has a giant organ!).

    A few of the characters from the Chinese Theater were featured in a movie called “Confessions of a Superhero,” which is available on Netflix.

    I have a friend, um, “Wonder Boy,” who has a local access television show called “Comic Book Geeks,” and he’s interviewed a couple of them. Here’s the Batman episode:
    Hollywood Batman is a scary dude. He’s been arrested outside the Chinese Theater. Besides my friend’s show, there is an endless supply of entertaining videos featuring those costumed folks.

    (Oh yeah, Tim–it’s the Pantages Theater, “Pan-TAY-jess”)

  4. Grace (#1 Redheadeddisneyfreak)No Gravatar Says:

    @Tim I’m having the same reaction and making the same sounds. and I’m rubbing the crap out of my eyes as @Noah described the procedure. especially every time he said cornea flap. @Andy had me laughing my ass off with his Shitty story (dumb pun)! lol P.s. I have sent Noah Dick jokes just check your e-mail box Noah! hugs and kisses! AWESOME SHOW!!!

  5. NoahNo Gravatar Says:

    @jesus I thought it was me but I don’t recall saying pie, I thought I just said “#1 dream killer.”

  6. Jesus #1 Fucking Pie Dream KillerNo Gravatar Says:

    @noah, tal vez, pero soy demasiado vago para buscarla.

  7. Tim Babb (TANcast's #1 Host/Editor Fan)No Gravatar Says:

    Correction: As Lindsey pointed out on Twitter, I got the name of the The Disney Theater on Hollywood Blvd. wrong… “El Capitan. Hyperion is in DCA.”

    Also she adds, “Or if you saw The Muppets, it’s the Muppet theater.”

  8. Jesus #1 Fucking Pie Dream KillerNo Gravatar Says:

    @noah, disregard my last comment, turns out i wasn’t too lazy to look it up and you were right. i just like mine better, i may be a dream killer/crusher, bug only when it comes to pie, fits in with the joke as opposed to applying it to everything.

  9. Luke (TANcast's #1 Irish fan)No Gravatar Says:

    New TANcast, woo! Looking forward to some bedtime listening tonight!

    Also, not related to the episode at all (at least I assume – haven’t listened yet) but maybe Andy or Noah can help me out here? A good friend of mine is looking at getting the Macbook Pro 2011 with 15.4 screen. He’s wondering if it would be able to run a new game on, specifically Mass Effect 3. Here’s the game’s specs as best I know: http://dailygamingnetwork.com/2012/01/19/mass-effect-3-pc-specs-announced/

    Thanks guys, if you can help us out I really appreciate it 🙂

  10. Andy (TANcast's #1 Ear-Rapist)No Gravatar Says:

    @Luke: Once you create a Boot Camp partition and install Windows on it, you basically have a standard PC laptop.

    If the recommended specs want at least a 2.4 GHz Intel Core 2 Duo, 4GB RAM and either an GeForce 9800 GT or Radeon HD 4850 with 512 MB of RAM, even my mid-2008 MBP 15″ is just about there. I only fall short on the graphics (GeForce 9600M GT with 256 MB).

    The current MBP 15″ models both have significantly faster CPUs (Sandy Bridge i5/i7 CPUs are 25-33% faster per GHz than Core 2 Duos, IIRC), and even the Radeon HD 6750M (512MB) in the cheaper model should be significantly faster than the Radeon HD 4850, as long as the 512 MB of graphics RAM isn’t a bottleneck.

  11. Lindsey #1 Harry Potter/Doctor Who/Merlin/Is it British? I'll watch it FanNo Gravatar Says:

    Lindsey, TANCast’s #1 Cant’ Let Mistakes Slide Fan.

  12. Lindsey #1 Harry Potter/Doctor Who/Merlin/Is it British? I'll watch it FanNo Gravatar Says:

    That was supposed to be a Can’t.

  13. NoahNo Gravatar Says:

    @Lindsey I am sorry, we can’t let that mistake slide

  14. Chelsea, Tancast's #0.0005 fanNo Gravatar Says:

    wah wah I’m Andy too many people want me to work for them. WAH!

  15. Chelsea, Tancast's #0.0005 fanNo Gravatar Says:

    sorry for that bitter comment, probably should comment before morning coffee…

    ANYWAY, I’ve been to the El Capitain theater and yes they’re shows before are pretty nice, I went there for “Enchanted” where before the movie started there was an organist who played all the love songs from the previous Disney princess movies (“So this is love”, “I’m Wishing”, etc) and then for “Wall-E” they showed their little cartoon skit “Presto”. And yes, definitely check out their ice cream bar!

  16. Tim Babb (TANcast's #1 Host/Editor Fan)No Gravatar Says:

    Have I mentioned I love all you folks who comment. Basically 80% of the feedback we get on the show is right here. So thanks for taking the time 🙂

  17. Chelsea, Tancast's #0.0005 fanNo Gravatar Says:

    Oh, I haven’t been but my mom said that Craig Ferguson’s show (The Late Late Show) is pretty funny and worth the wait.

  18. Grace (#1 RedheadDisneyfreak)No Gravatar Says:

    Aww Tim, Andy, and Noah! We love you too! That and (speaking for myself) We have too much time on our hands JK Love you guys! You all make Mondays and actually the week much better.

  19. Lindsey #1 Harry Potter/Doctor Who/Merlin/Is it British? I'll watch it FanNo Gravatar Says:

    Tumblr is down, so I am forced to find refuge elsewhere, TANCast starts with a T so it was a natural choice.

    In other news, I agree with Grace, you make Mondays delightful, adoration all around!

  20. JennNo Gravatar Says:

    Ooh, I just have to get in here with another comment — Check it out, four women in a row! If Alyssa and Lesley stop by, that’ll be all your female listeners, right?

    Tim, I actually listened to the new TANcast this week BEFORE the new Mousetalgia. What’s happened to me?

  21. Luke (TANcast's #1 Irish fan)No Gravatar Says:

    @Andy Thank you very very much, that’s really helped us out! I know very little about PC specs (slowly trying to teach myself it) and you guys where the only folk I could think of to ask for help. Very much appreciated my good man 🙂

    Also I agree with Grace, TANcast makes my week, I honestly can’t stress enough how much you guys help me get through the week, I must listen to every new episode about 2 or 3 times a week.. only to be re-listened to again about a month later!

  22. Lesley (#1 Ginger Fan)No Gravatar Says:

    TANcast is my favorite podcast in the whole world… right after Mousetalgia… and The Morning Stream… and Dole Whips & Dark Rides… and Film Sack… and Hypothetical Help… yeah.

  23. Jesus #1 Fucking Pie Dream KillerNo Gravatar Says:

    @Tim, would you mind if I made a “Suck on my Liberal Doucheness” t-shirt for when it’s time to vote here in AZ? I’m asking because I’m assuming that that’s an original joke.

  24. Tim Babb (TANcast's #1 Host/Editor Fan)No Gravatar Says:

    Knock yourself out. In fact I may create one for the TANstore too.

  25. Tim Babb (TANcast's #1 Host/Editor Fan)No Gravatar Says:

    And so it is done: http://www.zazzle.com/suck_on_my_superior_liberal_douchiness_tancast_164_tshirt-235813328585635557

  26. Lesley (#1 Ginger Fan)No Gravatar Says:


  27. Jesus #1 Fucking Pie Dream KillerNo Gravatar Says:

    Ah, after some Copic markers, a new sketch book, and, maybe….something personal for this lonely pie dream crusher, that shirt is defiantly going to be in my closet, courtesy of my financial aid!

  28. Andrew, TANcast's #[square root of -1] Australian fanNo Gravatar Says:

    I am confused about Tim not living in Los Angeles. I feel like I’ve missed something important.

  29. Andrew, TANcast's #[square root of -1] Australian fanNo Gravatar Says:

    Andy, with respect, evaporation is not combustion. Thus the laser is not burning the tissue.

    I feel I am becoming #1 Australian douchebag!

  30. Andy (TANcast's #1 Ear-Rapist)No Gravatar Says:

    @Andrew, yeah I kinda took a shortcut; it’s actually very localized ablation. I just have a sneaking suspicion that those ablated tissues (less their water content) break down and oxidize since they have been rapidly heated in the presence of, y’know, oxygen.

    On the other hand, I’m no laser expert. I’m just a guy who has exposed a lot of compounds to heat and air.

  31. Lindsey #1 Harry Potter/Doctor Who/Merlin/Is it British? I'll watch it FanNo Gravatar Says:


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