Two halves make one beautiful black whole…


TANcast 057 – Attach Heaven to the Shower and it Holds All Your Weight

July 6th, 2009 . by Tim Babb (TANcast's #1 Host/Editor Fan)

This week: Tim misses Michael Jackson, the TANboys celebrate the 4th of July, Sarah Palin is easy to mock, tales of anal tears (or tears), “fun” with fireworks, Noah’s sexy voice is too much for his computer, Crispin Glover is weird, a serious reminder to get your prostate checked, brown water, reality TV sucks for every race, and the Jonas Brothers annoy Andy.

This week’s TANlaughs were submitted by Nick, Jo, and Emily.
Send your jokes and/or e-mails to all of us at:
fucktards(at)TANcast.com or YourMom(at)TANcast.com

Vote for TANcast at Podcast Alley:

[CONTENT WARNING] TANcast features mature language and immature hosts. Listener discretion is advised.

(download the podcast at the bottom of these links)

Michael Jackson’s “Ghosts” Video (4 parts)

Netcot’s Captain EO episode

Mousetalgia’s Episode with Michael Jackson opening

On A Boat Video

TANcast Text Message Comics

Michael Jackson’s Badder video

Michael Jackson’s You Rock My World video

Michael Jackson’s Ben (Accapella)

Crispin Glover is weird(er) on Letterman

Jackson 5 performs Ben in Pairs

Crispin Glover performs Ben


26 Responses to “TANcast 057 – Attach Heaven to the Shower and it Holds All Your Weight”

  1. Mike (TANcast's #1 Fan)No Gravatar Says:

    Just an FYI for any TANcast fans, TANcast is not a good thing to listen to while doing job applications. >_> Going back to the application while I keep listening.

  2. Mike (TANcast's #1 Fan)No Gravatar Says:

    Tim, I’m upset now. I sent you the same TANlaugh that Noah got! As for the Cosby Show reference, I haven’t seen whatever episode that was referring to, but The Cosby Show is awesome!

    Lemon Demon is more fun than They Might Be Giants. Less fun than Weird Al, but more fun than They Might Be Giants.

  3. Tim Babb (TANcasts #1 Host/Editor Fan)No Gravatar Says:

    Sorry Mike…a couple people sent us that one. Noah just read Jo’s first.

    Also I forgot to put the “secret” about the MJ video at the end of the show so DON”T READ THIS UNTIL YOU’VE WATCHED ALL 4 PARTS of MICHAEL JACKSON’S “GHOST”…the “secret” was that Michael Jackson played the fat white dude in the video. I thought that was pretty cool. Some of his better acting.

  4. Jess (TANcast's #1 )No Gravatar Says:

    I remember when I watched Michael Jackson’s Ghosts and I kept thinking there was something very wrong with the fat old white guy. I was actually surprised when it was revealed that it was MJ.
    Not as good as Thriller, but still entertaining.

  5. MelanieNo Gravatar Says:

    Tim, here’s the skinny – and funny you asked on the ‘cast. I’ve always (well, for a short while, since I have only “pod-and-inter-‘known'” you a little while) thought that when you put on the sexy voice, you win the TANsexyvoice contest. Noah’s sexy voice doesn’t do it for me, and Andy’s sexy voice gives me diarrhea. Just kidding – I only weep anal tears when I hear Andy’s sexy voice.

  6. DeanNo Gravatar Says:

    “I’m Noah. I’m the Dalek in TANcast.”

  7. Bryce (Tancasts #3 Fan)No Gravatar Says:

    Another great one.

  8. Jess (TANcast's #1 Fan named Jess )No Gravatar Says:

    Andy’s sexy voice once helped dislodge a popcorn kernel from my teeth……….and then I shat myself.

  9. Princess Edamame - MelanieNo Gravatar Says:

    Nice, Dean…

  10. AnastasiaNo Gravatar Says:

    haha. i listen to tancast in my sleep. then i usually wake up and hear the end music and then i have to re listen. so i listen to every episode twice. oh the debate on sexy voices. i think andy has the sexiest voice followed by andy then noah…

  11. Tim Babb (TANcasts #1 Host/Editor Fan)No Gravatar Says:

    Bwahha hahahh! I don’t even make the top 3 sexy voices in TANcast?

  12. AndyNo Gravatar Says:

    Wow! Anastasia must double-like getting diarrhea.

    Which of my 2 voices is the sexiest? I’ll try to do that one more often.

  13. Princess Edamame - MelanieNo Gravatar Says:

    Not Andy’s little girl voice, please, Anastasia – that one gives me diarrhea… 🙂

  14. JoNo Gravatar Says:

    I liked his woman’s voice on the last podcast.

  15. Tim Babb (TANcasts #1 Host/Editor Fan)No Gravatar Says:

    Jo, I think you may stand alone on that…I’m with the Princess. Andy’s girlie voice gives me explosive diarrhea! In fact, just thinking about it…gotta go…

  16. JeremiahNo Gravatar Says:

    So, yeah i know this might sound a bit a creepin’ of the fact that im a guy but,,………. Tim, my want 2 be VERY CLOSE friend……………….. you have the sexiest voice. Yeah if you ever think about just hit me up on myspace, or if you’d rather prefer you can hit me up any where else.

  17. Tim Babb (TANcasts #1 Host/Editor Fan)No Gravatar Says:

    Wait a minute…wait a minute…wait…a…MINUTE!!!

    Do we have our second gay listener?! Sweet!!!

  18. Jess (TANcasts #1 whatever)No Gravatar Says:

    So my wife and I are planning a trip to Disneyland.

    Any tips Tim? (other than wandering around alone with an ipod on, listening to Captain EO and crying)

  19. TonyNo Gravatar Says:

    Advice: Don’t waste your time on Finding Nemo. It’s an underwater dark ride in a cramped space and it never fails that someone farts in the sub.

  20. Murray (TANcast's #1 Aussie fan)No Gravatar Says:

    Noah, I hope that you’re returning the favour and thinking of me when it’s prostate exam time.

  21. AnastasiaNo Gravatar Says:

    ahahaha. Tim your voice is in a separate category. you speak of Star Trek. and i label myself as the only OTHER Trekker besides you….

  22. MattNo Gravatar Says:

    I would have to say the sexiest voice on tancast is Tim’s wife.

  23. NoahNo Gravatar Says:

    Next time I get an exam I will make myself a todo item to think of you Murray.

  24. JeremiahNo Gravatar Says:

    Sweet! u say. Well, u can talk 2 me anytime u want baby. i mean i am ur biggest fan. Ur voice doesn’t give me diherrea it gives me these orgazmic feelings like macaroni & cheese does 2 me. Thats rare. That means ur special. And that ALSO means ur my favorite,……..Tim.
    I Luv You.
    (Anytime u want, take ur time)

  25. VanNo Gravatar Says:

    Nice to know that Captain EO will sync up with EITHER Honey I Shrunk the Audience OR Space Mountain in DL. — Also, I’m still disturbed by the choice you all made to honor America by recording this episode in boxers. Ummm… ew. 😉

  26. KikiNo Gravatar Says:

    I know I’m way late on this, but I relistened to this episode, and was wondering, why on earth is the piano music playing behind Andy and Noah talking at 15 minutes in?

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