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A Dorky Debate

January 25th, 2009 . by Tim Babb (TANcast's #1 Host/Editor Fan)

The following is a transcript from an IM conversation between Tim and Noah (interrupted by Tim’s wife Dynelle) that lead to the discussion in the first part of TANcast 034. (Some of the typos have been corrected for ease of reading)

noah: faggy boy

timbabbcomedian: Hey Noah, its Dynelle. I have a question for you. Tim and I are having a disagreement.

noah: oh goody, i get pulled into the drama

timbabbcomedian: I say that I am a smidge less dorky then Tim and he says that I am every bit as dorky as he is… but that I am hot.

timbabbcomedian: I say that by virtue the hotness makes me less dorky and he disagrees. Thoughts?

timbabbcomedian: so two questions.1. Am I as dorky at Tim? 2. Does hotness save you from total dorkiness?

noah: i say tim is more dorky

noah: attractiveness counteracts dorkiness

timbabbcomedian: YES!!! I knew it
[at this point, Dynelle is doing a victory dance]

noah: it distracts you

timbabbcomedian: Ok this is Tim again

noah: steph says tim too

timbabbcomedian: Just distracting FROM the dorkiness doesn’t take it away

noah: well your dorkiness is about perception

timbabbcomedian: dorkiness is a quantity like money…just because you look like you don’t have money and people treat you like you don’t …if you have the money you have the money…Dynelle has the dorkiness

timbabbcomedian: like smarts

timbabbcomedian: a blonde may not be percieved as smart but she can still act smart

noah: but smarts is also who you are around

noah: it is relative

timbabbcomedian: it is a quantifiable personality trait

timbabbcomedian: (Dynelle disagrees with me on this point)

noah: you can’t quantify it

timbabbcomedian: a test could be developed

noah: there is no dorky scale

noah: and you are bias

noah: about you and Dynelle

timbabbcomedian: just because no one HAS developed a dork scale doesn’t mean one couldn’t be made and then people’s dorkiness tested

timbabbcomedian: (Dynelle says I’m dorking out in front of her…what she doesn’t realize is…I’m just a non-loser)

timbabbcomedian: hidden in a loser’s body

timbabbcomedian: (Dynelle wrote that last line)

timbabbcomedian: Aren’t you glad you were still on line for this?

noah: tim is like dulk

noah: his clothes rip and he dorks out

noah: and starts putting on mickey shirts

timbabbcomedian: LMAO I’m wearing one now

noah: of course you are

noah: that is another thing

noah: Dynelle’s dorkiness is more subtle

noah: you wear your doriness on your mickey mouse t-shirt sleeve

timbabbcomedian: I so want to talk about this on the show tomorrow

noah: ok

timbabbcomedian: I’m going to save this discussion for future reference
noah: lol
noah: umm ok

The following IM conversation happened after the episode was recorded but before it was posted…so if you want to save any of the mystery, don’t read below the line until you’ve heard episode 34.

timbabbcomedian: so I think your point is dorkinessis an opinion rather than a fact?

noah: generally speaking, i mean there are things that most would consider dorky

noah: but not all

timbabbcomedian: so then there is no empirical answer to whether a person is dorky or not?

noah: i would say not really

noah: all depends on who you ask

timbabbcomedian: so then Dynelle isn’t less dorky than me…it’s just your OPINION that she is…thus it is invalid and I win

timbabbcomedian: (not really)

noah: tis true it is only my opinion

noah: you really will not let this go eh?

timbabbcomedian: My argument is that there is a definition of dorky that reasonable people can agree on

timbabbcomedian: I’m editing it now and it’s in my face

noah: ok

That is where the debate came to rest. Thoughts? Opinions?

8 Responses to “A Dorky Debate”

  1. Bryce (Tancasts #3 Fan)No Gravatar Says:

    Tim….you have a Disney problem. That is actually worse than dorkiness. It’s a sickness that is only cured by visiting a Disney park. So much to the point that you listen to Disney Podcasts and have even been on one. Which is how I found TANcast which makes me just as dorky as you are. But at least I admit it.

    on another note, there are entire websites devoted to Leia’s Metal Bikini….hotness transcends all.

  2. DJ Technoid (TANcast's Numberless Fan)No Gravatar Says:

    I guess you would have to define dorkiness, then list head-to-head all the dorky traits the two of you have, then tally the results. Is dorkiness mental or physical, or both? Can you have a dorky contest or some kind of dorky games? A Dorkathalon? An IronDork Competition? Are these dorky questions from a dorky TANcast Fan? Excuse me, my dork is hanging out…

  3. Mike (TANcast's #1 Fan)No Gravatar Says:

    I’ve gotta side with Noah and Dynelle on this one (sorry Tim). It’s like math. Dorkiness is a positive number, and hotness is like a negative number. Wait, scratch that, flip it. Hotness is positive, dorkiness is negative. Every hot point counteracts a dork point, therefor, if the dork levels are equal, Dynelle’s level of hot counters X amount of dork points, making Tim dorkier.

  4. Princess Edamame - #12No Gravatar Says:

    So now, just to keep track, y’allz have to work out the following exchange rates:

    gay bucks to US dollars
    Vietnamese hookers to US dollars
    hot points to dork points

    Did I miss anything? Get crackin’ guys… 🙂

  5. Mike (TANcast's #1 Fan)No Gravatar Says:

    Edamame, I’ve been working on it with a team of highly trained monkeys (since the TANguys don’t seem to be on top of it), and 1 gay buck is equal to approximately 1.48 US Dollars, and one vietnamese hooker is worth 5.92 US dollars. As for hot points to geek points, they are opposite ends of the spectrum, and so 1 dork point is equal to -1 hot points. And I have to be right, because the monkeys with calculators did the math for me….. At least, I think that’s right. Those are the figures I’m going with until Andy corrects me because, as we all know….. Andy is always fucking right.

  6. Tim (TANcasts #1 Host/Editor Fan)No Gravatar Says:

    Ah HA now there is a new wrinkle…We went out with my wife’s cousin last night (Who is technically my cousin too, but I like to be clear). She was talking about Darth Vader on Twitter (http://twitter.com/darthvader) and my wife said that “Darth Vader” was a true dork. Her cousin then said, “Yeah but his funny so that balances it out.” I’m Like, “Oh shit! FUNNY balances dorky too?!”

    So the question is, am I as funny as my wife is hot? (The downside is my wife is also funny so i may not make up that much ground…it sucks to marry a person who is measurably better than you in so many ways…but then again it rocks too…so what can ya do?)

  7. Mike (TANcast's #1 Fan)No Gravatar Says:

    I missed the part where dorky and funny negate eachother… I’ll put the monkeys to work on figuring it out, and let you know what they say Time (which translates to I’ve been awake ten minutes, and I can’t think it through yet)

  8. Mike (TANcast's #1 Fan)No Gravatar Says:

    Tim, the results are in, and each point of funny counters one half a point of dorky, so the question becomes… are you twice as funny as your wife is hot? If so, then you two are equally dorky.

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