Noah and I were hanging out at the Gap on Memorial Day, and we came across this shirt:
And it gave me the idea for my first ever retaliatory shirt:
I’m sure no one will ever buy this shirt…but if even ONE person does and they snap a photo of themselves next to someone in the Gap shirt…my purpose in life will be fulfilled.
It’s Friday, which means you’ve probably had an ass-full of dealing with morons all week. Why not offer them a nice warm cup of “Shut the hell up?”
Yup! Finally you can do what you’ve always talked about. These are perfect for White Elephant gifts. They are available in all sorts of different styles including travel mugs and beer steins. Plus you can click “Customize it” and change the text to say “Shut the fuck up” if you’re feeling really surly.
Since today’s product is actually a quote from high school Tim (more on that later), I thought I’d embrace Throwback Thursday and find something funny from my high school days to share. So I cracked open my senior yearbook to see what people had written to me. This message from my friend “Jenny” says it all…
Tim,
You are a really big freak with problems.
Starting off good already…
You have made this year interesting with all your jokes and groping my body.
Yeah I was always quite the jokster…wait…what did that say? Groping her body? That’s gotta be a joke right? No one would be cool with me groping them back then. Let me remind you that this is the guy this young lady is talking about:
He’s groping her…then he’s gonna grope ME!
OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODDDD!!!
You are just a big horn dog.
Sweet mother of all that is holy! I think I have to reexamine my entire high school identity. I was a total creeper. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! This went from funny stroll down memory lane to dark film noir way too quickly for my taste.
You had a great performance at Pops Concert and you are very funny. Every time I watch a Jim Carrey movie, I think of you.
It pains me to point out that at this point his most recent movie was “Dumb and Dumber.”
You two are so much alike.
…apart from the groping
It was really nice getting to know you this year.
Really? That seems unlikely. Given the first two sentences you wrote.
We should really try to keep in touch
Please…don’t say “touch!”
because your jokes would make my life much more exciting.
And then she gives me her phone number. What? This wasn’t like Mad Men days or anything. Being a handsy creepo was not generally acceptable. Fortuantly, I never bothered this poor girl again. She’s safe.
And now, behold the gigantic discrepancy between what I was like and how I thought about myself in high school. Today’s shirt is an actual quote I said out loud in front of many people…on purpose, “It’s so awesome to be me…everyone should have a turn.”
I’m pretty sure I was being sarcastic when I said it…but now I’m not sure of anything anymore.
…Except that this shirt comes in over 100 different styles and colors (men, women, hoodies, tank tops, etc.) and at least one of them would look AMAZING on you.
So unless you live under a rock with no wifi, you’ve heard about the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge. At the time I’m writing this blog, it’s raised over 100 million dollars in donations for the ALS Association. It’s also brought a TON of haters out of the woodwork.
Look, I get it…haters gonna hate. But all the haters I see are hating for stupid reasons. So here are the High 5 Lame Reasons to Hate on the Ice Bucket Challenge.
5) The Money is Not Going To Research
This is the one that pisses me off the most. An article went viral not long ago claiming that “ALS foundation admits that 73% of donations are not used for research.” They show a pie chart with the breakdown, in percentages, of where donations to the ALSA were spent. The slice of the pie for “research” is only 27%.
Too bad that article is deceptive horse s***. The ALSA didn’t “admit” anything (in fact, they debunked the whole article). Those are the freely published expenses for last year…you know last year? When this Ice Bucket thing hadn’t happened yet and they only had a little over 20 million in donations for the year. In the last month, they’re gotten over 100 million in donations. Do you really think all those pie slices are going to scale up equally? Plus, there’s a little check box on the donation form that says, “I want 100% if my donation to go towards research.”
Basically, articles about fertilizer are less full of crap than this. Read the rest of this entry »
So apparently, someone hacked Jennifer Lawrence’s phone. They found a bunch of nude photos on there. A bunch of them leaked on Sunday, but I was able to find a topless photo that I haven’t seen posted anywhere else… Read the rest of this entry »
As promised in TANcast 297, I’m blogging everyday again in the month of September. This time, there’s a twist! Every blog will also feature a new product at the TANcast Zazzle store. Today’s blog even features a video…
The rest of the blogs won’t be this kind of in your face style hard sell of the product. Could be a completely unrealated blog topic with a TANstore “sponsored product.” But each day, you’ll get something to read and something to buy. It’s the perfect mix of crap you don’t care about and crap you don’t want or need.
You’re welcome!!!
This week, it’s all over the place. The dark: Ferguson, cancer, and the late Robin Williams…but also the wacky: Ninja a Turtles, Christopher Cross, and “Six Degrees of Sliding in The Bacon.”
00:00 – 01:50 Pre Show Oreo Discussion
01:50 – 04:46 Intro
04:46 – 08:00 TANlaughs
08:00 – 17:31 How the F*** Was Andy’s Week?
17:31 – 25:29 Let’s Get Political
25:29 – 39:05 Listener Email
28:26 – 36:29 (things get dark/crazy feel free to skip)
39:05 – 44:41 Six Degrees of Sliding in The Bacon
44:41 – 59:19 How the F*** Was Everyone’s Week?
59:19 – 61:04 Last Minute Fail Finish
61:04 – 63:00 ?????
[CONTENT WARNING] TANcast features mature language and immature hosts but is NOT a representation of the stand up act of Tim Babb. Listener discretion is advised.
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This week, Andy gets scared by a deer, the boys discuss the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge, and they also review some movies (including the Raid 2 and Kick Ass 2).
00:00 – 03:57 Intro
03:57 – 08:37 TANlaughs
08:37 – 39:18 How the F*** Was Everyone’s Week?
19:51 – 24:23 TANflix
39:18 – 43:24 Wrap up
43:24 – 43:46 ????
[CONTENT WARNING] TANcast features mature language and immature hosts but is NOT a representation of the stand up act of Tim Babb. Listener discretion is advised.
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Apologies to Philip K. Dick and Barbara Eden for the stupid title, but I am as the good Super Panda made/did not make me.
Our recent inarticulate and ill-informed musings about the state of Android phones were at least timely. Ars Technica just posted a piece analyzing how quickly different manufacturers and US phone carriers got the latest version of the operating system (KitKat) out to various devices.
If you don’t want to drink the Cupertino Kool-Aid like your friendly neighborhood TANcasters (or the Redmond Flavor Aid), you might want to have a peek at what they found.
This week, we don’t stay on any one topic for too long so we cover, Noah cheating on us with other podcasts, Android phones, cute sloths, car troubles, spiders, Guardians of the Galaxy, Doctor Who….must I go on?
00:00 – 01:01 We Miss You, Robin Williams
01:01 – 05:27 Intro
05:27 – 13:10 TANlaughs
13:10 – 28:59 Listener Email/Tech Talk
28:59 – 56:50 How the F*** Was Everyone’s Week?
33:07 – 36:45 Doctor Who “Day of the Doctor” spoilers
56:50 – 57:59 Wrap Up
57:59 – 60:49 ?????
[CONTENT WARNING] TANcast features mature language and immature hosts but is NOT a representation of the stand up act of Tim Babb. Listener discretion is advised.
Read the rest of this entry »
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