September 14th, 2009 . by Tim Babb (TANcast's #1 Host/Editor Fan)
30 Days and 30 Blogs: Day 14
So my mom at I are at Disneyland yesterday for her birthday. You would expect that this story is filled with nothing but joy and happiness. You would be wrong. It was sullied before it even began.
My mom and I are on the tram to go from the parking lot to Disneyland. There is a little kid sitting across from us. He starts kicking his feet into my mom’s shins. The adult with him does nothing and says nothing. Finally my mom says, “You wanna quit kicking me?” To which the adult responds with an ultra helpful, “be careful” to the kid. (Said with all the concern of someone who doesn’t give a tenth of a crap. Then the little turd kicks my mom again. He tosses off an “I’m sorry” that’s as believable as the average Fox News story.
Finally we get off the tram and the kid and the adult catch up with some other adult who is apparently the actual mother. Does she say, “Hey your idiot kid was kicking some lady” when she talks to her? Nope. She COMPLAINS ABOUT MY MOM TALKING TO THE KID! She does this while we are both in earshot so my mom says, “Yeah I sure did.” To which non-mother adult says, “You’re repulsive.” At this point I had to jump in, “SHE’S repulsive for getting kicked by your kid?! How does that make sense?” Finally my mom says, “You know what I don’t need to ruin my day with this. Have a fun day at the park.”
I hope that abomination of a human being is reading this because you need to know that you are a piece of shit! You should not let your children do whatever they want. You have to set rules or else they grow up to be like Noah (I’ve just learned he’s not reading any of my blogs…so fuck him HA!) I just want that lady to know that it’s because of adults like her that I hate most children.
That night there was a huge accident on the 5 as my mom was driving home…I hope it was them. That’s not evil. SOMEONE already had an accident. I’m just saying if I could choose the victim, it would be that whore and her family. Is that so wrong?
September 13th, 2009 . by Tim Babb (TANcast's #1 Host/Editor Fan)
After a brief musical interlude, you’ll hear: Tim sharing his love for Auto-Tune the News, Noah sharing his love for half naked women, Andy sharing his love for the Bloudhound Gang, Andy’s naked baby causing problems, Tim and Andy hating on termites, ugly pigs needing love too, Kevin Smith tweeting up a storm, too much body modification talk, Tim failing at being a D23 member, stressing at game night, a teacher has to resort to porn, and finally the boys get lost in a world of Princess Leia’s metal bikini.
This week’s TANlaughs were submitted by Victoria and Todd.
Send your jokes and/or e-mails to all of us at:
fucktards(at)TANcast.com or YourMom(at)TANcast.com
[CONTENT WARNING]TANcast features mature language and immature hosts but is NOT a representation of the stand up act of Tim Babb. Listener discretion is advised.
September 12th, 2009 . by Tim Babb (TANcast's #1 Host/Editor Fan)
30 Days and 30 Blogs: Day 12
…yeah, you know me!!!
I’m about to head off to the Anaheim Conventioon Center to attend the 3rd day of the D23 Expo. For those who don’t know, it’s kind of like a Comic Con but for Disney. (I may have mentioned that on the show) I haven’t been to the first two days of the expo, but I hear that Johnny Depp showed up in full Jack Sparrow attire (and character) to announce that 2011 will see a new Pirates of the Caribbean move and the Muppets showed up to announce a new movie. In addition people like Tim Burton, Robin Williams, Nicholas Cage, John Travolta…and even Miley Cirus (oh yes…Miley Cirus…you know you’re excited) have already dropped by.
But there is one thing I’m most looking forward to and it’s not a famous person, it’s not some Disney legend from the past signing auto graphs…it’s the rumor that today they are going to announce a limited return for the Disney 3D film, Captain EO. If you don’t know what Catain EO is, check out one of my recent Kingdom Comedy Videos:
I think I mentioned this on the July 4th episode of TANcast, but I loved this movie as a kid. It’s a shame that it took MJ’s death to get the fan desire to see this movie back in Disneyland to reach high enough levels for Disney to take it seriously. But I really, really, REALLY want them to bring it back. The movie that’s in the theater now is super lame. Bob Iger (big shot at Disney) announced that there were “No current plans” to bring t back but that they were “looking at” the possibility.
I hope that was just to throw us off the scent…
C’mon, man…bring back the Captain!!! (I’m sorry…ths blog would be longer, but I have to get over to the expo while the gettin’s good)
September 12th, 2009 . by Tim Babb (TANcast's #1 Host/Editor Fan)
30 Days and 30 Blogs: Day 11
Just getting this one in under the wire. (It’s 11:30pm on the west coast, baby!) I’ve been at Disneyland with my mom all day. Plus today was the Mousetalgia meet up at the park and it was fun to meet a bunch of the listeners and it’s so fun to hang with the Mousetalgia gang (No word on whether Kristen can be tricked…I mean…convinced into coming on TANcast)
But…the point of the blog is a t-shirt I saw at one of the Disneyland stores.
WOW! Mickey is PISSED! What movie cold Minnie possibly have dragged him to do get him THAT cheesed off?! (Oh yeah, that pun was intentional) There don’t seem to be any clues in the t-shirt’s design so I’ve come up with the five possibilities. So here are the top 5 movies that would tick Mickey Mouse off…
5) Mousehunt
(for obvious reasons) 4) Space Jam
(“You’re taking me to see a Bugs Bunny movie?! Why not take Bill Gates to the AppleStore?!”) 3) Divine Secrets of the Ya Ya Sisterhood
(Because above all, Mickey is a MAN) 2) Ghost Rider/Fantastic Four/Daredevil/The Punisher (tie)
(“I know what we bought…I don’t need to be reminded”) 1) Transformers
(“Minnie, after 81 years, we are done…DONE! Catch a cab, you’re not riding home with me!”)
September 10th, 2009 . by Tim Babb (TANcast's #1 Host/Editor Fan)
30 Days and 30 Blogs: Day 10
I keep saying that one of these 30 blogs will be a chance for me to dig deep and produce something very funny and insightful…this is not that blog.
This is a blog that you might just as easily find on a 14 year old’s MySpace…I don’t wanna do the dishes. I know I promised I’d do them…I know there’s not even that many to do…I still don’t want to do it, okay?! Can you deal with that? I’d rather watch another episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation or just go to bed.
So instead I’m wasting time here on-line bouncing from Facebook to MiceChat to YouTube…etc. Somehow putting off is a better idea? I don’t know why…but it is. Maybe if I waste enough time the dishes will do themselves. Or we’ll be attacked by ninjas and no one will care that the dishes aren’t clean.
Ok…fine I’ll go do the damn dishes…
…right after I see what’s new at Failblog.org and Cracked.com.
September 9th, 2009 . by Tim Babb (TANcast's #1 Host/Editor Fan)
30 Days and 30 Blogs: Day 9
***WARNING*** This blog rambles on quite a bit and doesn’t really have a “point”
I posted a new Kingdom Comedy on my YouTube today. To coincide with the celebration going on today for the Haunted Mansion’s 40th anniversary.
(I feel a bit foolish that I missed the obvious opportunity to say that perhaps MJ could be the bride’s new hubby…since he, himself could be a ghost now)
People often ask me if I get strange looks when recording my videos…I very much do. You put on your wife’s jacked and dance around in a near empty parking lot at midnight, you’re going to raise a few eyebrows. (Security was rolling up just as I left..I bet the were sent to kick out the crazy guy who kept re-enacting Michael Jackson’s Thriller video over and over again.) I was actually pretty nervous driving to the parking garage where I filmed the dancing. It brought back memories of the good ol’ days when I would borrow my dad’s camcorder and run all over making silly films (in paces I wasn’t necessarily supposed to be). It’s always nerve racking until you finish, then it’s like, “Yes!!! I did it! I win! I got the shots before i got kicked out/yelled at!”
I’m always amazed at what I can get away with. I just had this idea blow into my head while I was watching clips of Thurl Ravenscroft clips on YouTube and viola…3 days later anyone in the world who wants to can watch it. At this point more than 200 people have seen this one and it only went up a few hours ago.
Well I’m headed to the D23 Expo in a few days…I’m hoping to make some videos there too….I’m also hoping I don’t get kicked out.
September 9th, 2009 . by Tim Babb (TANcast's #1 Host/Editor Fan)
30 Days and 30 Blogs: Day 8
My wife just got a Macbook that she uses for all her important school stuff. She would like to do some work from home on it…which includes getting on the internet. But for some reason every time we try and log her machine on to our wireless network, not only does it not work but the entire network crashes. I have to reboot the modem and the router after every attempt.
Basically what I’m saying is, her Mac sucks so much it’s ruining the internet for my two PC’s who know how to play nice on the network.
But Macs are the easy, user friendly computer, right? So I try their “help” feature…nothing. Their trouble shooting techniques…no love. I try to look for help on the internet (after I re-boot the fuckin’ router and modem again)…a sea of unhelpful bullshit. I am getting ready to cal Justin Long at home and tell him he better get his Mac hocking ass over here and help me figure this shit out.
“Hey…stop with your silly jibber jabber and get this piece of shit to work!”
While it’s safe to say I will not be switching to Mac in the near future, I’m still very pissed that my wife can’t even get on line with her own computer in her own home. Fuck Mac! Fuck Mac right in the bite in it’s apple!
September 8th, 2009 . by Tim Babb (TANcast's #1 Host/Editor Fan)
30 Days and 30 Blogs: Day 7
I got my 600th subscriber on my YouTube channel.
While that’s not a record breaking accomplishment by YouTube’s standards, I think it’s pretty amazing. 600 people want to see what I come up with next. That blows my mind!
That means people sat at their homes (or at work while the boss wasn’t watching), somehow stumbled upon one of my videos, and said to themselves, “I wanna see even MORE of this idiot.”
I am very grateful for that. Especially because the majority of my videos are from my series about Disneyland called, “Tim Babb’s Kingdom Comedy.” It’s nice that people like what I have to say about something I like a lot. Plus those videos caught the attention of Van at Netcot and the crew at Mousetalgia.
Sadly I have been a little bit of a slacker as of late. I have several videos in the pipeline but the editing process is taking longer than I thought. But I hope to have a new one up before the D23 expo and I have several lined up after that. So if you’re one of the 600 and you’re reading this, I promise you more stuff is on the way as soon as I can get it out there.
But thank you guys (and gals) so much for watching…especially those of you who suggested that friends watch my videos. I appreciate you so much. Now I’ll get back to my Windows Movie Maker program and get to work.
September 7th, 2009 . by Tim Babb (TANcast's #1 Host/Editor Fan)
Andy starts off talking hockey, a friend takes the TANcast vs SModcast challenge, Noah reviews Knowing and Funny People, the boys demystify the miracle of life, the boys discus BluRay, the boys take a stroll through the fun and frightening world of the People of Walmart, Noah gets a PS3, the guys talk about a show they’ve never seen, Noah sells out to Transformers, the boys discuss the 7 levels of fat, Tim tries to mock Andy for watching Glee, Tim admits to not watching Nip/Tuck, Andy fails to pronounce Llanfairpwllgwyngyll, the stench of Crocs clings to Andy’s neck, and Tim rips on Lodi (sorry Lodi…you know I love you)
This week’s TANlaughs were submitted by Mike and Jairo.
Send your jokes and/or e-mails to all of us at:
fucktards(at)TANcast.com or YourMom(at)TANcast.com
[CONTENT WARNING]TANcast features mature language and immature hosts but is NOT a representation of the stand up act of Tim Babb. Listener discretion is advised.
