TANcast

I have a particular skill or bit of experience that is neither widely-held nor widely-sought. Before you all start speculating (“It’s that thing he does with his tongue!”), I’m not going to talk about the what. For the sake of argument, let’s just say I knit yak hair into festive tea cozies.

Let’s go further and say that there may be a few dozen people on earth who have as much experience knitting yak-hair cozies as I do.

Approximately 99.98% (±0.02%) of the time this has no bearing on my life.

About two weeks ago, I was contacted out of the blue by a recruiter looking for a yak-hair-cozy-knitter. No foolin’.

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The most compelling TANcast ever! This episode features casual blasphemy, abortion debate, and a frank discussion about religious choice. Then it devolves in to the usual TANtopics like Star Trek, Pulp Fiction, having kids, Hypocritical politicians, Shutter Island, Alice in Wonderland, the Academy Awards, Disney animation, movies based on Saturday Night Live Skits, and Chatroulette.

[CONTENT WARNING] TANcast features mature language and immature hosts but is NOT a representation of the stand up act of Tim Babb. Listener discretion is advised.
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Tim Babb’s March Blog Madness: Day 9

Some of you may have noticed that the new episode of TANcast is not up yet. You also may have noticed I haven’t blogged yet today. (It is technically after midnight here but not in Hawaii…so I’m counting this blog)

I’ve just been swamped and I’m still getting over my sickness (actually the cough seems worse), so I don’t want to push myself late into another night. I’m gonna go to bed now and hopefully I’ll be feeling better when I awake. Then I’ll finish editing what is turning out to be a truly above average episode…and for TANcast, above average is our “excellent.”

Not to over hype the episode…in fact it’s mediocre at best. You’re better off waiting for it. Maybe you’ll find happiness in the meantime. Ok…off to bed. Night night.

Tim Babb’s March Blog Madness: Day 8

First off…sorry folks this week’s episode is a ways off I am busy and a little sick and the former is making the latter worse. I swear it will be worth the wait. (I’m quite proud of Noah and Andy on this week’s show)

But last night was Oscar night!!! As your intrepid Hollywood reported (who just drove by the Kodak Theater moments ago…several sloooooow moving moments ago), I know you give a shit what I thought. So here goes…

Actually I’m amazed that I HAVE an opinion! I haven’t seen most of the nominated films (Hence I was rooting for “Up”). For some reason I was rooting against Avatar. I dunno why. I haven’t seen it. Kevin Smith seemed to like it. Andy and Noah seemed to have at least enjoyed it. Part of is it that I don’t like James Cameron. Anyone who breaks it off with Sarah Connor is an idiot of the highest sort. Then, I guess, part of it is the hype. I was over this movie before it came out. I was just inundated with how this movie was going to “change movies forever.” Then the previews looked not as good as the average Pixar movie.

And Sandra Bullock…hell yes! Winning a Razzie and an Oscar in the same year. The first actor to do it. I just have always liked her since she ran over the baby carriage in Speed. I haven’t seen the movie she won for…and there’s no guarantee that I ever will. But, you go Sandra!!! Hell yeah!

I won’t go through the rest of the catagorys but I will say that Star Trek is officially an “Academy Award winning movie!” w00t! Suck it, Transformers!

Also people have been complaining on Twitter that Michael Jackson was mentioned in the look back at people who died in 2009, but Farrah Fawcett wasn’t. Ok…I get with you being hurt with them leaving Farrah out…she wasn’t a “movie star,” she was a television actress for the most part, but she DID do some movies. But I’m not down with these people who are saying Michael didn’t belong on that real. He has contributed to film in a number of ways. Aside from playing one of the leads in the Wiz, he had a small part in Men in Black 2, he performed the themes to Free Willy, Free Willy 2 and the immortal “Ben.” Not to mention that his music videos were considered to be “short films” by many. Just look at the talent he had behind the camera: John Landis, Martin Scorcesse, John Singleton, and OF course George Lucas and Francs Ford Copilla for a little 3D adventure playing in Disneyland RIGHT NOW! I for one was glad they gave Michael a brief mention. But I AM sorry they skipped Farrah…and also Wayne Alwyne (The voice of Mickey Mouse) May all or lost favorites rest in peace and may we carry our love for there work with us no matter who is a fuck stick and tries to ignore/shit on them.

…ok…no time to spell check this train wreck. I gotta go. Kisses!!!

Tim Babb’s March Blog Madness: Day 7

If you don’t follow me on Twitter or Facebook, then you missed this post:

“Wow! We are accidentally recording a really interesting TANcast!”

We were half way through recording this week’s show and I was really enjoying listening to Andy and Noah go back and forth. I truly think it was one of our most interesting shows.

But then after that we fell into our normal crap and Noah sent us a link to this picture:

I wanted to give those of you who read TANcast.com a jump on the folks who only listen to the podcast. Now when we mention this on the show you’ll already know about it.

…and knowing is half the battle!

Tim Babb’s March Blog Madness: Day 6

Sometimes when you’re doing comedy, and everything is going right it feels like pure magic! The other night was not one of those times. It was one of those nights where the crowd was really thin, no one was really getting laughs, and the show seemed to be dragging on.

Then this one guy got up and started complaining about the room and and about the situation. Look buddy, we know it sucks. We don’t need you to remind us and make us feel like it’s our fault. Just do your jokes and get off stage so this train wreck can be over. Unfortunately the douchebag on stage couldn’t hear me say any of this…because it was me.

I don’t know why I became the thing I hate but it wasn’t even very fulfilling. It didn’t feel good while I was doing it and I didn’t feel good during or after. I felt like I was being an ass and then I felt bad for being an ass.

So I guess my message is: don’t become the thing you hate…it’s not worth it.

Tim Babb’s March Blog Madness: Day 5

Since yesterday I wrote and anti-republican blog (Technically, it was anti-PALIN blog. That’s an important distinction in my eyes) today I’d like to write a little something more pro-republican.

Last Friday on Real Time with Bill Maher, there were two liberals and one conservative on the panel (plus Bill, who leans far more liberal than not). They liberals kept attacking the conservative for things he wasn’t saying. He was making some interesting points, but they seemed to ignore them and move on to bashing what they wanted to bash anyway. I realize this is a comedy show, but I think the conservative cracked the door open for an interesting debate…but the liberals just wanted to say what was bad about other conservatives.

I hate that crap. C’mon people, do we really have to keep this “us” vs “them” thing going on in politics? Look, you like tax breaks and I like government programs…neither one of us hates this country. Our political representatives are going to continue to be shooting the other party’s ideas down on principle unless we say, “Hey fuck sticks, enough of this ‘my way or the highway’ bullshit. You have a vision for the country, they have a vision for the country…figure out a way to reconcile the two in a compromise and fucking GET SHIT DONE!!! All this arguing and flag humping is not making me any safer, getting my kids better educated, or getting my job back.”

“Also…stop fucking cheating on your wives! Sweet bastard! Keep it in your fucking pants, asshole! You realize any helpful message you might have about the state of the country will be drowned out by screams of “ADULTERER!!!”

I’m Tim Babb and I approve this message.

Tim Babb’s March Blog Madness: Day 4

Ok…I was annoyed when she implied that there was a “real” America and, by implication an unreal America.

I was disappointed in the way she misrepresented the health care debate.

It rolled my eyes when she quit her governorship half way through her term.

But THIS is too far…she was on Jay Leno’s second night of his ill-gotten Tonight Show where she proceeded to try her hand at stand-up comedy. FUCK THAT! Read the rest of this entry »

Tim Babb’s March Blog Madness: Day 3

Sorry, this is a short one because I’m sick! I hardly ever get sick and I hate it. Not that anyone LIKES being sick, but it sucks. I have crap I wanna do but I know I’ll make myself worse if I try.

Screw you, cold! Eat NyQuil and die!!!

Tim Babb’s March Blog Madness: Day 2

In 1986, a trifecta of awesome was bestowed upon young Tim Babb. Someone decided to combine the “Star Wars guy” (George Lucas) with Michael Jackson and do it in Disneyland. In doing so, they caused my young brain to melt with sheer joy. It was a 17 minute 3-D movie called Captain EO…and it’s back!!!

I went on last weekend to behold the glory and I was, indeed, transported back to my youth. But there was one thing I wasn’t expecting…I do not remember Angelica Houston’s character being kinda hot. Read the rest of this entry »