TANcast

Day 4

Every week Cracked.com does a photo manipulation contest with a different theme. A few weeks back, Cracked’s theme was “Recruitment Posters for the Worst Jobs Ever.” I didn’t win…I wasn’t runner up…I really have nothing to be bragging about. But I thought I’d share my entry in the contest anyway (especially since the topic of my entry got us so much attention on episode 111).

(FYI-Last I looked, they still haven’t caught the attempted rapist)

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Day 3

Woah! The power was just off for 2 hours. You know what I did in that time? Nothing! I can’t remember a time when I’ve felt more powerless (literally and figuratively)

Why is it, whenever the power goes off, all I can think of to do evolves power?

“Uh oh, the power’s off…I’m gonna tweet about it…oh no computer…well I’ll use the laptop…oh crap no internet…well I’ll catch up on the DVR..oh right no cable…so I’ll watch a dvd then…oh crap that takes power too! Well, I guess I’ll do the laundry…oh right…I guess I’ll stare at this wall. Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!”

(In truth I actually cleaned some of the house and then re-read the Rorschach parts of Watchmen…now that the power’s back on…I’m not very motivated. Someone better call PG&E (The power company, for you non-west coasters) and hit the reset switch on my internal drive!

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Day 2

Dear summer,

It’s been fun. I’ve enjoyed going swimming, playing at the beach, enjoying a nice barbecue or two, etc…but it’s September now. Can we turn down the heat a little?

I spend most of the day on a computer which is housed in the only room in my apartment that gets zero ventilation! Do you have to put the sun on full blast all day so I sweat my butt off while I’m creating gems like these for cracked.com? My office chair is literally damp right now! Ew! That is gross. You’re lucky I’m married, summer, or I’d never see another naked woman again after blogging that fact!

Plus my car is jet black inside and holds on to heat like Snookie holds on to her 15 minutes of fame! It’s like driving around in an easy bake oven all day. (Oh sure, you say “turn on the air conditioner.” Who do you think I am, Richard Branson? I don’t got the kind of money that will allow me to chew through gas like that!)

So enough with the heat, summer! Bow out gracefully. You had your time to shine now step aside for some moderate temperatures!

Love and kisses,
-Tim Babb

PS-Tell winter it can expect a complaint letter from me around late January (or earlier if I have to do a show in a state where it snows)

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In a world where a comedian needs an outlet for his random thoughts…

In a world where people need to waste time on the internet…

One man steps from the shadows of the world wide web.

Last time he made a difference by posting a blog everyday in the month of September 2009.

Then it happened again in March of 2010.

…Now…the idiot who wasted a ton of your time is about to waste some more!

Tim Babb returns in…

Coming to TANcast.com this September!
(Special thanks to the movie Tropic Thunder, for basically writing this blog for me…we’re off to a great start!)

Here are links to all the blogs:

Day 2: A Letter to Summer
Day 3: Blackout
Day 4: Rejected By Cracked – Crappy Job Recruitment Posters
Day 5: Dumbest…Product…EVER
Day 6: New Laptop Time
Day 7: That’s it…I’m done with 3D
Day 8: Rejected by Cracked – If Magazines Told the Truth
Day 9: Why I Don’t Get My Wife Flowers
Day 10: Was this the BEST Idea?
Day 11: Wait…So What Did You Have Before
Day 12: Being an Adult
Day 13: Conversations I Have on Facebook
Day 14: Here’s Your Yelp Review, Wiseguy
Day 15: Rejected By Cracked – Rebooting History

Despite the title and album art, this episode has almost nothing to do with how sexy Sandra Bullock is (damn). It does feature spam talk, Andy’s kid has a birthday, Tim goes on a comedy road trip, seek out the Return of the Jedi deleted lightsaber scene, and Noah watches deaf lesbians making out.

[CONTENT WARNING] TANcast features mature language and immature hosts but is NOT a representation of the stand up act of Tim Babb. Listener discretion is advised.

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This week: a rare peak at Andy’s Job, the pitfalls of fast food, Noah reviews Scott Pilgrim, Andy and Tim remember their choir director, Tim goes the extra mile(s) for comedy, and the boys look at other podcasts.

[CONTENT WARNING] TANcast features mature language and immature hosts but is NOT a representation of the stand up act of Tim Babb. Listener discretion is advised.

Read the rest of this entry »

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I was going about my day on Facebook (like any “productive” member of society) when a link from a comedian friend of mine caught my eye. It was a story from the Huffington Post about an incident that happened in a U.S. Army post in Virginia:

U.S. Soldiers Punished for Not Attending Christian Concert
For the past several years, two U.S. Army posts in Virginia, Fort Eustis and Fort Lee, have been putting on a series of what are called Commanding General’s Spiritual Fitness Concerts. As I’ve written in a number of other posts, “spiritual fitness” is just the military’s new term for promoting religion, particularly evangelical Christianity. And this concert series is no different.

On May 13, 2010, about eighty soldiers, stationed at Fort Eustis while attending a training course, were punished for opting out of attending one of these Christian concerts.

Naturally this got a bee in my bonnet so I reposed the story on MY Facebook page. I threw a pointless reference to the “mosque” debate in the tag and I felt quite pleased with myself. Then, one of my friends commented:

If it is a true article, it’s not right for the military to be doing that… Everyone has a right to their own religion… But I’m sure that the Huffington Post left out some key details that would shed some more light and truth on this story…

So I thought to myself, “Well let’s see if Fox even covered the story.” I did a quick search and sure enough they did. Read the rest of this entry »

I logged into my e-mail today, and THIS greets me:

a) No hes not a %@#$ing Muslim!

b) If he was, who gives a @$#%?

c) How the %@#$ is this the “Top Story?”

Did I miss something? Is the economy fixed? Are all the wars over? Did we solve the immigration issue? Is ALL the oil in the gulf cleaned up?

Surely all those things must have happened and then some for Yahoo to put this as the top story! How can the right claim there’s a left wing media bias when this does NOTHING except to damage the credibility of the president?

There is NO WAY this story would be run about Bush if there were rumors that he was a secret atheist. Those rumors would be dismissed and laughed off. A story like that wouldn’t even make this page much less be the featured story.

Look, I get it, some people don’t like Obama. BELIEVE me I get it…I got it for 8 years. But just run an editorial on his policies, don’t make a news story out of some BS rumors that aren’t worthy to bump a Bay Boy story off the cover of the Weekly World News.

Yahoo, die in a fire!

PS-Why would I care what the weather is like in Solana Beach, CA?

Every week Cracked.com does a photo manipulation contest with a different theme.  Some of you may have seen I came in 20th in the latest contest…but what none of you have seen are my entries for earlier contests that didn’t do squat. In light of my recently being pwned by the fake KFC Skinwich, I thought I would share a couple of my entries from the contest with the theme: “Horrible Fast Food Ideas (That Can’t Be Too Far Off)”

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Sorry for the echo this week. If you suffer through it, you’ll enjoy more Comcast sucking stories, pie talk, tales of the KFC “Skinwich,” Andy’s visit with his brother, and the boys’ review of the Expendables and some other movies.

[CONTENT WARNING] TANcast features mature language and immature hosts but is NOT a representation of the stand up act of Tim Babb. Listener discretion is advised.

Read the rest of this entry »

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