It’s time once again for America’s FAVORITE game…
That’s right, “Who’s the Douche?” The game where we show you an actual exchange on the internet and you decide who the bigger douche bag is.
Returning champion Tim Babb is back to play again this time against new Possible Douche: Orange U. Gladshesnotyourfriend. The douchery starts when their mutual friend posts this on his Facebook page:
A fun, harmless riddle that’s been going around Facebook. How could this take a trip to Douche City? Our challenger steps in…
Wow! For an amateur, she’s showing the douche skills of a seasoned D-bag! She was told not to comment with an answer and she did it anyway. Massive douche points right off the bat. How will Tim answer this challenge?
Ah yes! That’s some textbook passive-aggressive douchiness right there. Extra points since he does not know this Orange woman at all. This could be a close one let’s tally up the…what’s that? Orange has more douche to douche?! Douchetastic!!!
I…I’ve never seen this before. In all my years of douche commentating, I’ve never seen a douche call out a douche for being a douche. The judges are going to have their hands full with this one. Any word on what she wanted us to “check out?” None at all? Hmmmmm…not sure if that’s going to gain or cost her points. Oh…I’m told Tim has a response. This better be good if he wants to stay in it.
Tim pulls out the old fake apology. This is dripping with sarcasm and even some shaming thrown in there. That’s pretty douchey…but is it douchey ENOUGH?
What? NO! There’s MORE from Orange?!
Well, stating the obvious and repeating some name calling isn’t going to impress the judges…what’s that? She’s deleted her original douchey comment and has yet MORE to say?
Wonderful! She’s attempting to fight condensation with condescension. A highly complex feat for a novice doucher. This has been quite a game!
…and Tim has no answer. So now it’s up to the judges.