Something to do while waiting for death's sweet embrace.



September 5th, 2010 . by Tim Babb (TANcast's #1 Host/Editor Fan)

Day 5

Ok…I think the companies have officially run out of good ideas for us. The plan now is to slip incredibly stupid, wasteful ideas past us and hope we don’t notice. I saw this commercial a few times while watching Criminal Minds reruns the other night….

Okay…let’s break down why this product/commercial is so stupid…

The first thing we see is people touching dirty things. Okay…you’ve got my attention. I occasionally touch dirty things, what do I do?

Then it shows these same people washing their hands. Oh good problem solved…but wait we’re not even 15 seconds into this commercial yet…is that it?

Uh oh…apparently they have figured out that when you touch the soap dispenser…you’re doing it with DIRTY HANDS! Oh dear god, no! If only there was some way to get the bacteria I just touched off my hand. Like maybe if I smeared some of the @#$%ING SOAP that I just plopped in my other hand on the first hand. But apparently I’m one of those people who puts soap on one hand and somehow and for some reason only washes that hand. If only there was a product for me…

Oh sweet! There is! Now I can put my one hand under the dispenser, wash it, and be free from bacteria. Nothing can go wrong with this plan…unless…

Aw crap…I have to turn the water faucet on. I bet that handle is just as chalk full of bacteria as the old soap dispenser. I guess my dream to wash my one hand bacteria free will remain unfulfilled a while longer.

Curse you, Lysol, for giving me false hope!

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8 Responses to “Dumbest…Product…EVER”

  1. Mike (TANcast's #1 Fan)No Gravatar Says:

    It’s funny, I didn’t see anything wrong with this commercial the first time I saw it. But as soon as I rewatched it in this blog, I saw where you were going with this. And I felt really fucking stupid for not noticing it before.

  2. JennNo Gravatar Says:

    I think all you men would appreciate this Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal cartoon on hand-washing:

    And what is it with all these bathroom items we no longer have to touch? They’re bad enough in public restrooms, now we’re supposed to have them at home, too? I don’t need a toilet that decides to flush when I’m halfway through, thank you!

  3. Jenn's roommateNo Gravatar Says:

    Uhh, Jenn. I beg to differ. You definitely need a toilet that flushes when you’re halfway though.

  4. JennNo Gravatar Says:

    Who the hell are you and how did you get in here?!

  5. Mysterious Matt (TANcast's #1 Mysterious Fan)No Gravatar Says:


  6. Mysterious Matt (TANcast's #1 Mysterious Fan)No Gravatar Says:

    Thanks for that link, Jenn. I have actually had that thought before, though I washed anyway. There is a very good argument for foot or at least wrist taps ( http://www.sheardown.co.uk/421-PIC.jpg ) in public restrooms.

  7. BreenoNo Gravatar Says:

    It’s taking just over a month, but this stupid product has made its way over to the UK! I was sitting down watching TV when I saw it come up during the advertisement breaks, I face-palmed from start to finish.

    If you care, the UK commercial is practically identical to the one over in the US, only we have a British narrator and it’s under a different brand name (what do they think selling it under a different name is going to fool everyone whose aware of this or just has plain common sense?)

    Stupidity has once again came out victorious it seems, curse you Lysol/Dettol!!

  8. BreenoNo Gravatar Says:


    Please excuse my awful grammar. Sometimes I really wonder how I got an A in that English exam…

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