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Must… not… succumb…

October 8th, 2009 . by Andy (TANcast's #1 Ear-Rapist)

Andy’s October of Suckage: Day 8

I just got a fireproof, waterproof external hard drive from ioSafe. Given the recent spate of end-of-days weather and my bout of terminal heathenism, I thought it best to be prepared. If they had one that was frog-, blood-, locust-, lightning bolt-, and zombie army-proof I’d probably have paid for the upgrade.

The only problem with owning such an awesomely serious piece of hardware (I swear to Super Panda this thing weighs 25 lbs.) is that you only get to show off the coolest features during an emergency.

I don’t know if I mentioned this on TANcast before, but I used to make my own black powder. My final presentation in High School Chemistry cleared a lecture hall. I’ve burned all the hair off one of my arms. More than once.

Do you see what I’m getting at here? Do you see how there may be a certain compulsion I’m choking back?

(Burn it all down!)

Wait. What was that?

(Oh shit! He can hear us?)

Um, I think I need to go take a cold shower in a dark room and think of things burning. No, NOT burning! Not.

Ah well. If we lose the house at least I know our taxes, Junior’s baby pictures, and my porn collection will be safe.

8 Responses to “Must… not… succumb…”

  1. Mike (TANcast's #1 Fan)No Gravatar Says:

    I’d be more than happy to test just how fireproof it is for you, Andy. There’s a reason I try not to buy anything “Fireproof”… I go out of my way to prove the manufacturers wrong. I… have issues >_>

  2. LoganNo Gravatar Says:

    Is it thermyte proof? If your not sure it is best to test out every possibility before the worst happens. What if that drive was full of 1 terabyte of porn and someone dropped thermyte on it? You would be so sad. Yes I have no clue how to spell thermyte and the spell checker isn’t helping.

  3. AndyNo Gravatar Says:

    Thermite: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thermite

    And yes, I did know how to spell that without looking. 🙂

    I was actually planning to set off a few ounces of thermite for my final Chem presentation until I checked the stores and found out that none of the available lab equipment could handle the temperatures involved (~2500 °C). Hell, I’d already cracked one of the highest-rated crucibles they had with a much less energetic reaction.

    ioSafe says the device is “Fireproof to 1550 °F for ½ hour”. Since that is about 840 °C, I’m gonna go out on a limb and say thermite would slag the whole thing.

  4. LoganNo Gravatar Says:

    Those ratings are always conservative, you should probably try it just to be safe 🙂

  5. GeoffNo Gravatar Says:

    You knew “thermite”, but not “canon”? Interesting.

  6. AndyNo Gravatar Says:

    No, no. I spelled “cannon” correctly. What the hell did you think I meant, Jeff?


  7. GeoffNo Gravatar Says:

    hahaha, wonderful

  8. AndyNo Gravatar Says:


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