Sorry, ladies, but this hunk of raw manflesh is off the market. From here on in this is a pairs game only. The bacon’s taken. Insert your own mangled metaphor here.
What I am driving at is that I am married.
Yes, to a girl.
No, I didn’t pay her.
No, she isn’t an actress I paid to stand next to me to convince my mother that I am not a gay. I already said I didn’t pay her.
No, smart-ass, nobody paid her on my behalf.
Okay, I’m done talking to you now. Asshole…