TANcast

Day 31:

As a comedian, I run into some really funny people. Every so often I meet a comedian that I enjoy so much that I want the world to know. So during this blog-filled October (Blogtober), I’ll be highlighting a wonderful comic each Friday (or in this case the following Wednesday…when it’s not even October anymore) in a feature called TGIF: (This Guy/Gal Is Funny). These won’t be long essays or anything, just a little recommendation on some people to go to when you want to laugh. This week, I want to draw your attention to Chris Adams and Jerry Brandt.

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Day 30:

Comcast sucks. Comcast has always sucked. Comcast will always suck. This is the only constant in the universe. Someday people will find a way to live forever, pigs will find a way to fly, and Andy will find a way to tell a short story…but on that day and everyday before and after…Comcast will suck. So why am I amazed that they find new ways to suck?

I am aware they can’t get cable TV right. I’ve been able to deal with the fact that their internet service has it’s problems. But now, they’ve managed to screw up my phone line as well. The other day my wife said she called me on the house line and I thought, “Huh…that’s odd I didn’t hear it.” Then a few days later my mother-in-law said the same thing. I still heard no ring. Finally I misplaced my cell phone somewhere in the house so I grabbed the house line to call it…there was a strange silence where the dial tone should be.

I eventually found my cell phone and called Comcast. Of course, I had to go through a stupid automated menu. After punching enough buttons to write a Hemingway novel, the automated skank says, “If you would like to take a short survey after this call, press 1.” Well I had no desire to take a survey after that call so I did not press 1…and the call hung up. So I tweeted…

Nice, @comcast. First my phone stops working, then I call to get it fixed and you hang up on me! #YouAlwaysSuck

Then I called back and the same thing happened. So again I ran to Twitter…

Oh good, @Comcast hung up on me again YOUR AUTOMATED SYSTEM SUUUUUUUUUUUUCKSSSSSS!!!!

Finally, I tried pressing 1, and wouldn’t you know it, I got through to the next part of the button pushing bullcrap. Cue the tweet…

Brilliant strategy @Comcast, you won’t get me through to an operator until I agree to take your stupid post-call survey. #YouSuckSoMuch

At this point @ComcastMichael decided to jump into the fray. This poor fool has no idea what he’s getting into. I’m sure he’s a good man and has nothing but good intentions, but he is about to run face first into a wall of hate…

@ComcastMichael may i help?

@TimBabbComedian Sure. You can tell the hammer heads who handle the automated line to allow folks to skip the survey.

@ComcastMichael i will certainly forward your feedback to leadership

Not the most venom I’ve ever used on someone but still, he doesn’t need my attitude. He was literally just trying to help. Then I looked at his feed. Dear…lord…in…heaven! It’s full of him asking “can I help?” while people rant about their malfunctioning Comcast. I mean FULL. Pages and pages of this poor man trying to turn the tide. Just one guy with a tiny pail trying to bail out this flood of hate out of Comcast’s boat. I’ve never felt sorrier for a man in my life. So I replied to him…

Thank you, sir. But I fear you are fighting a losing battle.

If you’re reading this, Comcast Michael, just stop. It’s not worth it. You have your whole life to live. Nothing has been this futile since the Borg invaded. The only person who has a worse job than you is Lindsay Lohan’s agent. “No I swear she hardly does any heroin any more, you gotta let her audition…hello? HELLO?! Damn!” It’s too late for that agent, but you can still be saved, Comcast Michael. Drop the Comcast and be “Michael.” You’ll thank me later.

Noah has a birthday, Tim gets a new job, Andy can’t use his Halloween costume, and the boys pick their High 5 Monster Movies.

[CONTENT WARNING] TANcast features mature language and immature hosts but is NOT a representation of the stand up act of Tim Babb. Listener discretion is advised.

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Day 29:

This time, Cracked.com had truly inspired idea for a Photoshop contest…”what would famous people or characters dress up as?” I mentioned this contest on last week’s TANcast and the two entries I mentioned (Yoda as Miss Piggy and Groucho as Groucho) totally made the list. I also made the list twice, so be sure to check that out. But as usual, I have a lot of entries that didn’t make the cut. Wanna see ’em? Too bad, here they are anyway…

Incredibles as the Fantastic 4
I thought this one had a shot. I thought it looked pretty good. Maybe the Incredibles aren’t at the forefront of peoples’ mind these days…but they SHOULD be, dang it! Read the rest of this entry »

Day 28:

Well, the Halloween party I spoke of in an earlier blog has come and gone. It was a fun time as expected. My wife and I did end up doing the Han and Leia costumes with our baby dressed up as Yoda. My son looked adorable. He was perfect in his little Yoda costume. My wife made a great Princess Leia (Especially considering she had to work with only what we could find in our closets and her mom’s closet). She had a long flowing white dress and her hair up in braided buns. Magical. I on the other hand…well first let’s look at the picture…

Sadly we didn’t get a “better” shot of my costume, so let me walk you through it. Read the rest of this entry »

Day 27:

As I type this, I am backstage at a show waiting to go on.

I thought it might be interesting to get an inside look into a comic’s mind just before and after a show. So the first part of this blog will be written before I go on and the second part will be written after I come off.

Part 1
So I’m backstage with a another comic who is making notes in preparation. I’m deciding what I want to talk about tonight. I’ve been playing with ideas for the whole drive up here. Now is where I whittle it down from ideas to a plan. I just found out a few moments ago that I will, in fact, be hosting the show. That’s kind of a bummer. Not that I dislike hosting, but it’s not as much fun as just doing a set. It’s going to be my job to warm the crowd up. I really want to do some jokes about my missing tooth…but it’s new. We’ll see. Oh…time to start. Read the rest of this entry »

Day 26:

Ads on the internet are annoying. You know hat’s not annoying? making fun of them. Thanks to Cracked.com’s latest photo manipulation contest, I got to do just that. In fact, one of my entries was used as the “thumbnail” for the article. But, as usual, there were some gems that didn’t even make it in. Here they are for your amusement my self importance.

C’mon…we know what most nerds use Photoshop for…after they insert themselves into a picture with Anne Hathaway…they use it to make their profile pictures look better on Facebook/Match.com/Google Maps..or whatever. No? that’s not what most people do? Just me? …awkward. Moving on! Read the rest of this entry »

Day 25:

The older generation is always telling the younger one that the music from the old days is better than this crap on the radio. “These kids today are just singing about cheating on their women, or cheating on their women, or even being a whiny girlfriend. But back in MY day, the music was better.” Ok, smart-ass, lets look at a song from back in your day. The classic Simon & Garfunkel hit “Cecilia.” Read the rest of this entry »

In this special crossover episode of Drinking Buddies and TANcast; Tim, Andy and Noah join Chis Adams and Jerry Brandt for a free flowing, comedic discussion. Plus the movie incarnations of James Bond and Batman are pitted against each other in a feature known as “Monday Night TANfights.” (Stay tuned at the end of the show for extra comedy that’s different depending on how you downloaded this show. Alternate version here: http://kbeachdrinkingbuddies.podbean.com/2011/10/24/drinking-buddiestancast-crossover-special-episode/)

[CONTENT WARNING] TANcast features mature language and immature hosts but is NOT a representation of the stand up act of Tim Babb. Listener discretion is advised.

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Day 24:

So for The Q (my son’s) first Halloween, my wife and I thought it would be cute if we all dressed up in matching costumes. Not all the same costume, but a general theme. We each came up with an idea. Both of them on the surface are awesome…

Look at me! I’m Andy. “My kid is cute. Blah, blah, blah!”

So her idea was that we’d dress the baby up as Yoda, and she and I would go as Princess Leia and Han Solo. I pointed out that the only problem with that was the fact that Leia and Han never met Yoda. She gave me that look that says, “who else would notice let alone care about that except for you?”

I then suggested we dress the baby up as Harry Potter (paint a little scar and glasses on him) and then we would go as Ron and Hermione. She put the brakes on that real quick. “How does Ron and Hermione full grown and Harry as a baby make any more sense than Yoda hanging out with Han and Leia?” Read the rest of this entry »