TANcast

Talkin’ Turkey With Tim Babb
Day 3

I was driving home from my mother-in-law’s house tonight and I saw this…

Hell ya!!! It’s November 3rd, baby! Five houses down still has their Halloween stuff up, but these folks said, “It’s Christmas light time baby!”

They didn’t just put them up, they flipped the switch and lit them up for all to see. Christmas is over 7 weeks away, but these folks are ready now! I, for one, salute them! I dunno if I posted about this in January, but I felt like Christmas whizzed past me last year since I was working 3 jobs. When it was over, I felt this very weird melancholy feeling for weeks. So this year, I vowed to get in the spirit early. And I’m glad I’m not alone!

Let the carols begin…

[Side note: Hey, YouTube…when I enter a song title in your search bar, I’m never looking for the Glee version. Never. Do you understand? NEVER! Stop it!]

Talkin’ Turkey With Tim Babb
Day 2

Something I meant to get back to in Blog2ober was talking about some of the books I read to my son. I’ve been meaning to talk about the classic, “Everyone Poops.”

Now the temptation is to make a bunch of poop jokes, but I think that would make for a “crappy” blog. (That’s all I promise) What I wanted to get into was how the book totally leaves you hanging. There are two unanswered questions that the book asks. The first is… Read the rest of this entry »

Talkin’ Turkey With Tim Babb
Day 1

I blogged for all 30 days in September and called it “30 Days and 30 Blogs 3.” I blogged for all 31 days in October and called it “Blog2ober.” Amazingly enough, after 61 straight days of subjecting you good people to my constant nonsense (or, “Constense”^TM), I am not ready to quit. So I’m going to keep the party rolling for another month with “Talkin’ Turkey With Tim Babb.” I vow to bring you a new blog every day through the end of November. When it’s all over, I will have spent more than 1/4 of the year blogging. Mind = blown!

Since today is the day after Halloween, I thought I would talk a little bit about my Halloween experience. This was my second year trick or treating with my son. And this is my 4th year having the whole family dress in themed costumes. I decided we should go with one of my wife’s favorites and we went with a Harry Potter theme this year. My plan was to have our son be Harry Potter and my wife and I be his dead parents. My wife said that didn’t make sense so she and I went as Ron and Hermione…because that makes more sense :/

I guess Ron and Hermione got held back…a lot.

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Blog2ober
Day 31

For the last day of Blog2ober, I thought I’d share a list of my favorite “Halloween” songs. Okay…you know and I know, Michael Jackson’s Thriller will be #1 on this list. But don’t skip it, I managed to keep it fresh for you. How? You’ll have to read on.

5. Somebody’s Watching Me
I rediscovered how much I love this song about 10 years ago and I have not stopped loving it since. I do remember this video creeped me out as a kid though. Yipes! GET AWAY FROM THAT MAILMAN!!!

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Blog2ober
Day 30

I’m actually a big horror wuss. I never liked to be scared, especially as a kid. I think it took 5 visits to Disneyland before I would open my eyes during the “hell” section of Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride. As such, I’ve manage to miss a lot of the classics of horror. When people stand around talking horror movies, as they tend to do this tie of year, I often chime in with, “I never saw that.” Then I get the pleasure of watching people look at me as if I just took a wiz in their Halloween candy. The reactions only get worse when I offer up a movie I have seen. So basically this is an opposite version of Doug Benson’s “Watch This, Not That.” …horror edition!

5. I’ve never seen: Halloween (1978)

Despite the fact that the killer is wearig Captain Kirk’s face, I’ve never seen any of this horror classic…except the parts they show in the movie Scream.

Yet somehow I HAVE seen: Halloween H20: 20 Years Later

I was working at a movie theater that was showing it and we all stayed late to watch it the night before it opened. I think because the name was so stupid, I felt it couldn’t be that scary. I don’t remember a thing about it except that [spoilers] L.L. Cool J. lives…which annoyed me at the time.
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Blog2ober
Day 29

A comic friend of mine posted a link to an Anti-Obama group on Facebook. It was chalk full of great images like the one above. But the insane images were only the tip of the crazy iceberg. It’s the comments that really let you know the kind of people you’re dealing with…

I’m tired of you Obama zombie IDIOTS that think he has ANYTHING good to offer America!!!! He is a Muslim and a Socialist!!!!!!! FACT!!!!!!!!!!!! If you don’t agree, SUCK IT!!!

I mean, clearly that person is ready to start a reasoned debate on how best to address our nation’s many complex issues. The problem is, this is what the people on the left think you all believe. These cartoonish nut bars are acting as your spokesmen. Not becasue they represent you well, but just because they’re loud and constant.

So here’s my question…where is this on the other side? I assume right wing folk must see a caricature of what the left thinks and be appalled by it. I want to see that. I want to know what the left is bringing to the crazy table. I imagine there’s some left wing crazies out there, but they’re really going to have to up thier game if they want to compete with the likes of…

By the next election, we’ll live in Amerika. It’ll be too late to change things. Our guns will be taken away…..Our military could have saved our country, but they refused. They still could, but it’s pretty much been taken over by the Muslims & Satanists. SOON Jesus will call His bride out, then He’s going to pout out His wrath on this evil, unrepentant world.

Blog2ober
Day 28

It’s time once again for America’s FAVORITE game…

That’s right, “Who’s the Douche?” The game where we show you an actual exchange on the internet and you decide who the bigger douche bag is.

Returning champion Tim Babb is back to play again this time against new Possible Douche: Orange U. Gladshesnotyourfriend. The douchery starts when their mutual friend posts this on his Facebook page:

A fun, harmless riddle that’s been going around Facebook. How could this take a trip to Douche City? Our challenger steps in…

Wow! For an amateur, she’s showing the douche skills of a seasoned D-bag! She was told not to comment with an answer and she did it anyway. Massive douche points right off the bat. How will Tim answer this challenge? Read the rest of this entry »

Blog2ober
Day 27

My car died this morning. I left my dome light on all night and for some reason, my car battery didn’t like that. Add to that, my wife wasn’t home and I had to get to work. But this blog isn’t a pity party for me. I got a cab and when I came home, I jumped my car with my wife’s car. So I was fine. But then my mind started to wander…

As you know, after you jump your car, you need to drive your car around for a while. (Recharges the battery, I guess…I don’t know cars or science). As I was driving around I wondered if anyone every jumped their car, started driving, and then hit someone. I feel like it had to have happened. But did they stop? Or did they keep on driving because they didn’t want their car to die? Now you’ve got a hit and run on your record all because you left your headlights on.

Or I wonder if anyone ever jumped their car, started driving, and then immediately got a flat tire. That has to be a top 10 suck day (In the first world, at least).

Basically I like to fantasize about worst case scenarios that aren’t happening to me so I feel better about my little problems. It’s a wacky system, but it works 🙂

This week, the boys discuss dressing up for Halloween at work, Noah’s birthday, diabolical Kids, and Tim learns something new about Facebook.

[CONTENT WARNING] TANcast features mature language and immature hosts but is NOT a representation of the stand up act of Tim Babb. Listener discretion is advised.

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Blog2ober
Day 26

So far this month, I’ve shared a lot of embarrassing letters I’ve written. So today I’m going to share an embarrassing letter someone wrote to me. It’s not embarrassing in the same way, the person who wrote it won’t cringe, but it does shine a spotlight on what a little weiner I was back in the day.

This letter is from a lady I had a huge crush on. At the time I thought everybody but her could see it. In retrospect, she probably did see it, was flattered by the attention, but didn’t feel the same. Amazingly, I’ve actually found myself in that position since then…so I know there’s no graceful way out…but THIS is a card she sent me on Valentine’s Day:

Friends

Yes…she put “Friends” in bold letters at the top. As in, “Take. A. Hint.”

Tim, a true friend
I am not sure what to say

Because, “Forget any hopes you have of ever seeing me naked,” seems a little harsh for Valentine’s Day.

A reminder of who you are to me
You fill my life with glee
With smiles and laughter of true bliss
It is our friendship kiss

Aw, c’mon! Don’t use the word “kiss” in this little note. You KNOW young Tim didn’t see anything else but that right? He probably didn’t even notice that you started rhyming suddenly and will stop rhyming just as suddenly…

Thank you for the wonderful person you are to me. Like I said before, you were there when I needed someone. I hope one day I can return the same kind of friendship to you.

“She totally wants to kiss me” -Young Tim

This story has a nice ending, though. I noticed it was sent on February 12, 2001. A little over a month later, I would have my first kiss with the woman who is now my lovely wife.

So to any of the young guys reading this trapped in your own private friend-zone hell…don’t give up hope. You WILL be free. “Never give up. Never surrender!”