TANcast

Talkin’ Turkey With Tim Babb
Day 6

If you listened to the latest mini-episode of TANcast, you heard me and the boys read a play that was loosely based on me an Andy (and Noah…some of his traits were mixed into the Bert character). You also would have heard that the character based on me has an “obsession” with Harrison Ford. That was very much true of me at the time. If you think I’m obsessed with John Williams these days, this is nothing compared to my Ford Fixation. …but I’m starting to wonder if that is still the case. I haven’t seen a Harrison Ford movie n the theater since the Indiana Jones movie that shall not be named.

To be clear, I’m not against Harrison Ford now. I’m just questioning my loyalty. From the 90’s to the mid 2000’s I watched everything of Harrison’s. I saw Hollywood Homicide in theaters. I OWN Six Days Seven Nights. I OWN it!!!

Yet I’ve missed all 3 chances to see him on the big screen this year; Ender’s Game, Paranoia, and 42. I missed Morning Glory, Extreme Measures, and Crossing over. I did see Cowboys and Aliens…but on a Red Box rental.

I know this isn’t some major crisis, but the line of from the play, “His room is covered floor to ceiling in Harrison Ford crap” was 100% true. Now the closest thing I have is a poster for the Indiana Jones ride at Disneyland hanging in my son’s room. Maybe I need to rethink whenther I can call myself a true Harrison Ford fan.

…nah. He just needs to be in some crap I want to see.

Talkin’ Turkey With Tim Babb
Day 5

So as I mentioned the other day, I am already getting into Christmas mode. One thing I miss every year is having a good selection of Christmas songs on my iPod. Most of my Christmas music is from Disneyland, and while that stuff is great, there are a lot of classic Christmas songs that I love that I would like to have. So my thought was to grab one of those best of Christmas CDs. I had no idea it would be this hard to choose.

I’m down to two compilation CDs, Now Christmas and Now That’s What I Call Christmas. I kid you not, they are practically named the same thing. They have a lot of overlap of songs too. No matter which one I buy, I’ll get Bing Crosby singing White Christmas, Nat King Cole singing The Christmas Song, Jingle Bell Rock by Bobby Helms, and a few other overlaps.

But then it gets tricky…who’s version of The Most Wonderful Time of the Year is best? Johnny Mathis or Andy Williams? One has the version of Let It Snow from Die Hard but the other has Do They Know It’s Christmas? by Band Aid.

On the other hand they both have crap I’ll never listen to. One has Justin Bieber warbling some Christmas monstrosity, the other has N’Sync doing the same thing.

One has Thurl Ravenscroft…the other has Tony Bennett! AAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!

Screw it…I just ordered both.

Talkin’ Turkey With Tim Babb
Day 4

I’m not saying I’m in line for parent of the year, but I’m certainly doing a lot better than these fools…

For those of you who can’t/don’t want to watch the video, there are two toddlers playing with those little Flinstone-style cars that they get in and “drive” with their feet. There are two cars and two kids. Seems like that would work out fine but, the kid in the green shirt decides he wants the kid in the red shirt’s car. He starts to climb in and the woman holding the camera springs into action! …and by that, I mean she says, “Uh oh.”

With his parents doing nothing to help, red shirt decides to open the door to the other car. As if to say, “Hey buddy, there’s another car right over here that you can use. Why you gotta be all up in my business?”

With that, green leaves him alone and goes to the other car. I’m kidding of course, he grabs red shirt by the collar and tries to pull him out of the car. The woman holding the camera is so concerned about this that she laughs while holding the camera steady as can be. After green shirt tugs on red shirt a while, the lady finally says, “No, Finn. Finn.” If you didn’t watch the video, you might be thinking she said that in a stern stop that right now, young man voice. You would be wrong. She said it in more of a would you pass me the salt voice. Amazingly enough, Finn was undeterred from his collar tugging.

“Cry all you want. Mom clearly is not gonna help you.”

Finally he pulls the entire car over on it’s side. It falls on him and red shirt falls out and starts crying. Because, you know, WTF? You would assume this is where we lose the picture as the concerned parent drops the camera to step in. You would again be wrong. Mother of the year laughs again and then says, “No Finn that was your fault.” Again, no parental authority in her voice. Just telling Finn he shouldn’t be complaining because it’s his fault the car ell over. Well, mother dearest, Finn isn’t the one complaining, red shirt is. And the reason he’s complaining is because he just got yanked out of his car while the adults who were supposed to be supervising him just kept filming like they were trying to win $10,000 on America’s Funniest Home Videos (Is that show still on?)

“I’ll settle for Tosh.0”

Then Finn pushes the car back on it’s wheels. To his credit, red shirt gets back on his feet and heads for the now righted car. Wonder Mom helps out with an encouraging, “Go get it, Felix. Get it back.” Oh I get it, this is some sort of toddler thunder dome where they must fight for toys while mom films for her later amusement.

Finn must get it too, because just as Felix is about to get into the car again, Finn grabs him by the back of his shirt and pulls him back out of the car. At this point, mom’s cries of “No Finn, no,” sound at least a little concerned, but Finn has learned that mommy’s too busy filming her magnum opus to put the camera down and discipline him properly, so he pays her no mind. Then we actually hear a male voice pipe up with “Finn, don’t be a bully.”

Worst. Ant-bulling. Commercial. Ever.

Well why wouldn’t he? He wants something, he’s gonna take it, and up until now no one has done anything to stop him. So he keeps right on going, leaving the crying Felix behind as he hops in his ill-gotten car. Finally, the grampa lumbers in to the frame with all the body language that says, “I can’t believe I actually have to get off my butt. This sucks. Kids are so inconvenient.”

The reluctant hero pulls Finn out and puts him in the other car. Felix is still a bit upset and would like some attention, so grampa stuffs him back in the first car. Then mom says, “There we go.”

Yup, there we go. All fixed. Parenting…you’re doin’ it.

“I mean…it’s clear who they love most now, right?”

This week, it’s the return of TANcast theater as Tim, Andy, and Noah do a “dramatic” reading of a play young Tim wrote in college. It’s loosely based on the time Tim and Andy first lived together on their own. The script is called: “Call Waiting.”

[CONTENT WARNING] TANcast features mature language and immature hosts but is NOT a representation of the stand up act of Tim Babb. Listener discretion is advised.

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Talkin’ Turkey With Tim Babb
Day 3

I was driving home from my mother-in-law’s house tonight and I saw this…

Hell ya!!! It’s November 3rd, baby! Five houses down still has their Halloween stuff up, but these folks said, “It’s Christmas light time baby!”

They didn’t just put them up, they flipped the switch and lit them up for all to see. Christmas is over 7 weeks away, but these folks are ready now! I, for one, salute them! I dunno if I posted about this in January, but I felt like Christmas whizzed past me last year since I was working 3 jobs. When it was over, I felt this very weird melancholy feeling for weeks. So this year, I vowed to get in the spirit early. And I’m glad I’m not alone!

Let the carols begin…

[Side note: Hey, YouTube…when I enter a song title in your search bar, I’m never looking for the Glee version. Never. Do you understand? NEVER! Stop it!]

Talkin’ Turkey With Tim Babb
Day 2

Something I meant to get back to in Blog2ober was talking about some of the books I read to my son. I’ve been meaning to talk about the classic, “Everyone Poops.”

Now the temptation is to make a bunch of poop jokes, but I think that would make for a “crappy” blog. (That’s all I promise) What I wanted to get into was how the book totally leaves you hanging. There are two unanswered questions that the book asks. The first is… Read the rest of this entry »

Talkin’ Turkey With Tim Babb
Day 1

I blogged for all 30 days in September and called it “30 Days and 30 Blogs 3.” I blogged for all 31 days in October and called it “Blog2ober.” Amazingly enough, after 61 straight days of subjecting you good people to my constant nonsense (or, “Constense”^TM), I am not ready to quit. So I’m going to keep the party rolling for another month with “Talkin’ Turkey With Tim Babb.” I vow to bring you a new blog every day through the end of November. When it’s all over, I will have spent more than 1/4 of the year blogging. Mind = blown!

Since today is the day after Halloween, I thought I would talk a little bit about my Halloween experience. This was my second year trick or treating with my son. And this is my 4th year having the whole family dress in themed costumes. I decided we should go with one of my wife’s favorites and we went with a Harry Potter theme this year. My plan was to have our son be Harry Potter and my wife and I be his dead parents. My wife said that didn’t make sense so she and I went as Ron and Hermione…because that makes more sense :/

I guess Ron and Hermione got held back…a lot.

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Blog2ober
Day 31

For the last day of Blog2ober, I thought I’d share a list of my favorite “Halloween” songs. Okay…you know and I know, Michael Jackson’s Thriller will be #1 on this list. But don’t skip it, I managed to keep it fresh for you. How? You’ll have to read on.

5. Somebody’s Watching Me
I rediscovered how much I love this song about 10 years ago and I have not stopped loving it since. I do remember this video creeped me out as a kid though. Yipes! GET AWAY FROM THAT MAILMAN!!!

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Blog2ober
Day 30

I’m actually a big horror wuss. I never liked to be scared, especially as a kid. I think it took 5 visits to Disneyland before I would open my eyes during the “hell” section of Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride. As such, I’ve manage to miss a lot of the classics of horror. When people stand around talking horror movies, as they tend to do this tie of year, I often chime in with, “I never saw that.” Then I get the pleasure of watching people look at me as if I just took a wiz in their Halloween candy. The reactions only get worse when I offer up a movie I have seen. So basically this is an opposite version of Doug Benson’s “Watch This, Not That.” …horror edition!

5. I’ve never seen: Halloween (1978)

Despite the fact that the killer is wearig Captain Kirk’s face, I’ve never seen any of this horror classic…except the parts they show in the movie Scream.

Yet somehow I HAVE seen: Halloween H20: 20 Years Later

I was working at a movie theater that was showing it and we all stayed late to watch it the night before it opened. I think because the name was so stupid, I felt it couldn’t be that scary. I don’t remember a thing about it except that [spoilers] L.L. Cool J. lives…which annoyed me at the time.
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Blog2ober
Day 29

A comic friend of mine posted a link to an Anti-Obama group on Facebook. It was chalk full of great images like the one above. But the insane images were only the tip of the crazy iceberg. It’s the comments that really let you know the kind of people you’re dealing with…

I’m tired of you Obama zombie IDIOTS that think he has ANYTHING good to offer America!!!! He is a Muslim and a Socialist!!!!!!! FACT!!!!!!!!!!!! If you don’t agree, SUCK IT!!!

I mean, clearly that person is ready to start a reasoned debate on how best to address our nation’s many complex issues. The problem is, this is what the people on the left think you all believe. These cartoonish nut bars are acting as your spokesmen. Not becasue they represent you well, but just because they’re loud and constant.

So here’s my question…where is this on the other side? I assume right wing folk must see a caricature of what the left thinks and be appalled by it. I want to see that. I want to know what the left is bringing to the crazy table. I imagine there’s some left wing crazies out there, but they’re really going to have to up thier game if they want to compete with the likes of…

By the next election, we’ll live in Amerika. It’ll be too late to change things. Our guns will be taken away…..Our military could have saved our country, but they refused. They still could, but it’s pretty much been taken over by the Muslims & Satanists. SOON Jesus will call His bride out, then He’s going to pout out His wrath on this evil, unrepentant world.