TANcast

31 Blogs of Christmas
Day 1

After 3 “successful” months of blogging everyday, I’ve decided to keep it going for one more month! And what a great month…December! Bascially this month means you’re almost done with school for the semester, presents are coming your way, you get to see pretty lights and sing wonderful songs! It’s the best! All this month, I plan to take a look at various holiday related stuff and over-analyze it to the point of ridiculousness. (Because that’s what I do)

Today I’m looking at the House of Mouse Christmas special, “Mickey’s Magical Christmas: Snowed in at the House of Mouse.” The House of Mouse was a series that ran on the Disney Channel in the late 90’s and early 2000’s. It was basically a showcase for old Disney shorts as well as a platform to premiere new ones. The whole thing was couched as a variety show that Mickey and the gang were putting on in a club called, you guessed it, the House of Mouse. Inside, there were all sorts of characters from classic Disney films like Cinderella, Fantasia, even Beauty and the Beast and Aladdin.

Then we come to the Christmas special. The premise is that they can’t leave because they’re snowed in (I bet you figured that out from the title, huh? That’s why you’re my favorite, you’re so smart) So they pass the time by telling stories…which is to say, showing Disney shorts including Mickey’s Christmas Carol. I am super glad this exists because that is how I own Mickey’s Christmas Carol on DVD. But there is a major plot flaw.

Oh oh! Watch out everybody! Tim’s going to ruin our childhood again!

As I said, the premise is that they are trapped inside. Normally that would be believable enough, but as if you’ll recall, they have quite a guest list inside that club. Including…

Yeah…that’s the Genie from Aladdin. You know, the guy with unlimited magical powers.

“But Tim, he doesn’t have unlimited powers anymore now that he’s free. Boo boo boo boo.”

You know what? You’re no longer my favorite. Besides, as the direct to video sequels to Aladdin showed, the Genie may not have the same power he used to, but he still has plenty of magic powers. Certainly he has enough to shovel a little snow. And you’d think he’d be the first one to want to get out of there. He’s from the middle east…Christmas can’t be too high on his favorite holidays list.

Plus Tinkerbell is there, she could sprinkle pixie dust on every one and they could fly home. Pete’s Dragon is there, he could just breathe fire and melt he snow. My only conclusion is that, for some reason, none of these characters actually WANTED to go home to see their families. I guess Christmas dinners are even awkward in Fantasyland. Who knew?

This week Andy almost dies, Noah watches 6 movies, Tim eats all the food, and Black Friday creeps into Thanksgiving.

[CONTENT WARNING] TANcast features mature language and immature hosts but is NOT a representation of the stand up act of Tim Babb. Listener discretion is advised.

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Talkin’ Turkey With Tim Babb
Day 30

This morning, my amazing wife made this awesome breakfast casserole with croissants, eggs, cheese, spinach and…BACON!!! It was delicious. I had seconds, it was so good.

But after the euphoria wore off, my wife asked me, “What do you want me to do with the bacon grease?”

Crap…

…I have no idea. I know you’re not supposed to pour it down the drain. Which sucks, because that would be the most convenient way to get rid of it. Beyond that, I’m not sure. So it still sits on the stove waiting for me to do something about it. Do I dump it in the trash? Does bacon grease count as compost?

Oh bacon, why must you come at such a cost?

Talkin’ Turkey with Tim Babb
Day 29

Looking at the latest series of commercials for Luvs diapers, I’m reminded of the old line, “Who were the ad wizards who came up with this one?” Let’s watch one of the videos in the series.

As usual, I know some of you won’t watch so I’ll hit the important points. The first half of the video, a kid asks a mom to hold her baby. The mom makes her drench herself in hand sanitizer to an extent that’s normally reserved for AFTER leaving a Walmart.

In the second half, the same mom (now with two kids) hands the new baby to a filthy auto mechanic.

The voice over then says, “By the second kid, every mom’s an expert, and more likely to choose Luvs than first time moms.” Wow. Way to take a crap on your own image, Luvs (at least you have somewhere to put it.)

They can call that 2nd time mom an “expert” if they want to, but all I see is a mom that gives zero f**ks. Understand, this is not a critique of her parenting choices. Odds are the baby will not suffer from contact wit he unwashed mechanic. But regardless, the mom just doesn’t care. So basically the ad is telling me, “By the second kid, mom’s aren’t as picky about the choices they make for their baby…so they’ll settle for Luvs!”

Talkin’ Turkey With Tim Babb
Day 28

So I’ve seen a bunch of people posting what they’ve been thankful for all month, and that’s super cool. But it’s not exactly filled with surprises. So you can all assume I’m thankful for my lovely wife, adorable son, wonderful mom, my great mother-n-law, my home, my health, my job, my country…blah blah blah! Here’s some stuff I’m thankful for that isn’t that important…but I still love it!

12) Peperoni Pizza

I mean, what more do I need to say? Delicious!
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Talkin’ Turkey With Tim Babb
Day 27

At my “day job,” we had a canned food drive this week. They organized it so departments were competing with each other to see who could donate the most. Fortunately, my department not only decided they wanted to win, but that they wanted to win with style!

PS – We did win. Booyah!!!

Talkin’ Turkey With Tim Babb
Day 26

On the latest show, we talked about how Noah found that Reddit thread of evil jokes and started texting them to us without warning. I thought you might like to see what Andy and I saw. (Translation: “I’m tired and want to do this blog quickly”)

Talkin’ Turkey With Tim Babb
Day 25

As I type this I am constantly casting a weary eye towards my dishwasher. You see, last night I ran the dishwasher just before I went to bed. When I woke u, I started unloading the dishwasher and I noticed there were an unusual amount of spots on everything. I assumed I had put too much dish washing soap in there and decided to run the dishwasher again. (The exciting life of Tim!!!)

But when I went to grab the soap from under the sink, I noticed the bottom was wet. Great, there must be some leak in the sink. Now I have to figure that out after I get these dishes washed. I loaded a tiny bit of soap in and went to start the dishwasher…nothing happened.

That’s when I realized that the puddle under the sink was caused by the dishwasher spewing out water under the sink thanks to a loose pipe that nobody noticed. That loose pipe happened to be directly above the outlet that the dishwasher plugged into. Basically my dishwasher tried to kill itself last night.

Okay I just ran over to check and the pipe seems to be fine. It’s not leaking anything…yet.

I hope this works because lord knows I don’t wan to wash these dishes…BY HAND!!! AHHHHHHHHH

Talkin’ Turkey With Tim Babb
Day 24

This is my last Doctor Who blog, I swear! I watched the 50th Anniversary episode last night after editing TANcast 265, and I enjoyed it. It was fun and for a change, there weren’t any major kicks in the dick. When I turned it off, I felt like the time it took to watch all that Doctor Who over the past few months was worth it because it payed off in me enjoying the show. So, hurray! Happy ending for me!

But then, as I lay in bed, I started thinking about the episode and I started had a question.* So I would throw this question into the internets fro my last Who blog. But be warned, as River Song would say,

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This week Tim’s WIFI goes all wonky while the boys talk about Andy’s trip to Detroit, Tim’s thoughts on Doctor Who, and Thanksgiving

[CONTENT WARNING] TANcast features mature language and immature hosts but is NOT a representation of the stand up act of Tim Babb. Listener discretion is advised.

Read the rest of this entry »

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

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