TANcast

Following on what Tim just said, several years ago Tim, Noah, OG Steph, and I all took a trip that I lovingly call “24 Hours of Disney”.

We started with a power nap, then got up around 3 AM, loaded into my car, and drove from San Jose to Anaheim. The rest of them continued to sleep/doze on the way down while I passed semis (for our foreign readers, that is pronounced “sem-eyes” and means “large trucks pulling large trailers”) at 100 mph on Interstate 5 in the pitch black. Hey, it kept me awake.

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****This is a blog from my early days of blogging that I post here because I had reason to revisit this train of thought recently…enjoy****

I know at least a few parents read this…I have something very important to tell you…

Take your children to Disneyland

Not NOW…sit back down and keep reading. Just take them at least once between the ages of three and ten. I was lucky enough to go at least four times in that time period. My mom and dad took me. And I’ve only just realized that THAT’S why I love the place so much. Every time I go back now it’s an instant portal to the past, to people I love, to old smiles and songs that filled my little heart with joy, and to a time when a little kid really believed that if I wished upon a star my dreams really could come true. All this genuine happiness comes from a PLACE. Just a place. Just some brightly colored paint, some singing puppets, and crazy costumes…and somehow, it’s magical. But the true magic of Disneyland is it puts you back in touch with the magic in your own heart.

But that’s not the reason you should take your kids to Disneyland. If you’ve ever meet an adult who never went to Disneyland as kid than you know…they are some of the most miserable FUCKS on the planet! They grow up to be the scary old creep who frightens children that come near their house.

“GET OFF MY LAWN YA BRATS!”

“TURN DOWN THAT RACKET!”

“SLOW DOWN ON THAT BICYCLE!”

What were their parents thinking?! Probably took them on vacation to the Grand Canyon or some crap! What the hell does a five year old care about a big gap of dirt?!

“Yeah, ma. That’s a big trench of dirt…I dug a smaller one in the back yard and you gave me a spanking. Can we go to the movies and see Finding Nemo now?” Save these trips for later when their teenagers and they need to appreciate some of this fine country. But while they’re young, take this chance to take them some where designed for the sole purpose of putting a smile on their face and bringing you closer together. Do it! Don’t let the opportunity pass you by…or who knows what they’ll grow up to be. I’m not trying to scare you, but here’s a true fact…Adolph Hitler, Osama Bin Laddin, and Saddam Hussein…all have never been to Disneyland…makes you think doesn’t it? By the way…I’m going in 4 days…HA HA HAHA HAHAH!!!

I’m not sure what I can say to make this sound funnier than just quoting PETA‘s own press release title:

PETA Asks Ben & Jerry’s to Dump Dairy and Go With Human Milk Instead

No offense to vegetarians or vegans (looking at you, mom and Iris), but seriously, how fucked up are these people?  Either they are complete idiots living in a fantasy world or else they are attention-starved media whores looking for some cheap exposure.

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Lindsay Lohan “outed” herself at practically the same time as Clay Aiken did. But it seems like most people are only talking about Lindsay.

Poor Clay…he’s doomed to always be in second place.

This episode starts on the wrong foot and stays there. Noah comes up with an innovative idea for the porn industry. The TANboys discuss pets, life, death, poop, aging, more about poop, and poop consequences. They put a leash on “The Force Unleashed,” give no country for Old Men, bemoan the state of the US economy, and prattle on about dumb jokes before giving a looooong goodbye.

This week’s TANlaugh submitted by Kris.
(with extra TANlaughs from Iris)
Send your jokes for TANlaughs to: Tim (at) TANcast.com

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[CONTENT WARNING] TANcast features mature language and immature hosts. Listener discretion is advised.

This is from the producer of the show my dear friend Orlando Bishop:

I AM PRODUCING A SHOW TO BENEFIT THE LEUKEMIA & LYMPHOMA SOCIETY. ANY AND ALL SUPPORT WILL BE SINCERELY APPRECIATED BY ME… AND BY ALL THOSE WHO FACE BLOOD CANCERS.

IT AIN’T NO JOKE
Date: Saturday, September 27
Time: 8 PM
Place: The Westside Eclectic 1323-A Third Street Promenade
Santa Monica, CA 90401
Admission: $15 (For advance tickets call 310-435-6145)
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On the 11th, Noah and I had the following IM conversation regarding this site:

Noah: TANcast appears to be done
Andy: Done?
Noah: down
Andy: Dude
Andy: That is a big difference

I’m sure you will all agree that “done” sounds pretty damn final.  I thought something had gone horribly wrong with the hosting, or Noah’s wife was going to make him quit, or Tim’s laptop had died, or the government was threatening to shut us down because we talked about Bristol Palin’s boobs, or something equally bad.  Nope.  Noah couldn’t access the site from where he was, but picked the wrong word when telling me.

Once the confusion had passed, I didn’t think anything more of it until we had this conversation today:

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In the first official TANGcast, the boys discuss the pros and cons of Beantown, do a little baby talk, share some stories about airports, and reach out to Giada of the Food Network.

All that plus the “great” TV debate, stories of weddings and wedding videos, and great advice for any father-to-be.

This week’s TANlaugh submitted by Bryce.
Send your jokes for TANlaughs to: Tim (at) TANcast.com

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[CONTENT WARNING] TANcast features mature language and immature hosts. Listener discretion is advised.

A very special episode with a very special guest.

This episode is sponsored by Tim Babb’s appearance at the Hard Rock Cafe in Boston on September 14th at 9pm…part of the Boston International Comedy Festival.

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[CONTENT WARNING] TANcast features mature language and immature hosts. Listener discretion is advised.
…yes, even THIS episode needs this warning

The TANboys (complete with peanut gallery) misguidedly reach out to the gay community, clear up some site link mysteries, hurt Noah’s feelings, discover that moms say the darndest things and discuss TANcast’s first offended listener.

Also in this episode: important earthquake saftey tips, more potty humor (that leads to tales of drunken debauchery), the legend of T-Maintenance, a warning about child birth every woman should hear, and more than you ever wanted to know about the world of music radio.

Send your jokes for TANlaughs to: Tim (at) TANcast.com

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[CONTENT WARNING] TANcast features mature language and immature hosts. Listener discretion is advised.