Tim Babb’s April Foolishness
Yes…that title is from the song. This blog is about what you think it’s about (Unless you think it’s ACTUALLY about baseball…it is not). So if you do not care to read about this indelicate subject, I totally understand. But that’s why I gave you this whole paragraph to close your browser window and say, “Diarrhea? Aw hell no! I’ll be skipping this and maybe I’ll read tomorrow’s blog.”
Okay…if you’re still reading, you deserve what you get.
I have had horrible diarrhea for the past 24 hours and it suuuuuuuucks. I’m actually writing this blog on the toilet because I can’t sit at a computer long enough to get it done.
I have no idea what I ate or what I did. I just know there is a demon in my colon and he’s very, very angry. This morning, I was happy when I woke up and realized I hadn’t crapped myself in my sleep. This is the closest I’ve come to a victory in the last day.
Earlier today I was so hungry…but I didn’t want to eat because I knew I was just going to be shooting it right back out in an hour or two. Well, I was wrong…it only took 20 minutes!
My butt is sore from wiping it! Why is this happening to me? Please bowel demon, leave my intestines alone!
I know there are people with real problems out there…but this sucks. I’ve never had diarrhea this long before.
I have to go to bed soon…will my luck hold out two nights in a row? I hope so…and I’ll bet my wife REALLY hopes so.