Gay Marriage…Why Do I care?
August 4th, 2010 . by Tim Babb (TANcast's #1 Host/Editor Fan)
Uh oh…it’s gonna be one of THOSE blogs from Babb.
Today in California, the ban on gay marriage was overturned by a federal judge. This makes me very happy. Although I don’t know why…
Girls kissing…hmmmmm good start, but not the answer.
The decision is likely to be appealed which could take it all the way to the Supreme Court…where it could decide not only the fate of California…but perhaps all of the United States. That prospect has me filled with equal parts hope and dread. But I don’t know why…
You see…I don’t have a dog in this fight. I will never get gay married. I was lucky enough to meet a lovely woman who agreed to marry me and I know I could never find anyone better of either gender. …oh…and I’m not gay. (Despite songs you may have heard to the contrary)
I don’t know these ladies…why do I care what they do?
So why does it bother me so much that people are trying to stop gays from having these rights? I could try and tie this in to my Black heritage and the struggles my people went through for equality…but that doesn’t ring true. First off, I’m too young to have any true experience with the oppression that people like my dad and grandmother had to go through. Secondly, it’s just not on the same level. Blacks weren’t allowed to eat at the same counters, drink out of the same water fountains or enjoy many of the rights an American citizen should. Arguably, getting married was the least of their worries. So I can see why a lot of Black people get upset when to struggle for gay rights is compared to the civil rights movement However, even though the Gay and Black struggles are not equal, you cannot deny the parallel. When rights are taken away from a group, you are basically telling that group, “You’re not worth as much as the rest of us.”
I think that’s what gets stuck in my craw about this. It just FEELS so unjust. I know we’ve all been told “life’s unfair,” but this just seems so needlessly unfair. Who is it really hurting to have gays married to each other? What damage does it cause society? Even if you believe that being gay is a sin, how does stopping them from being married stop the sinful behavior? It’s not like they’re not gay until they’re married. They’re gay right now…yup as I type this dudes are doin’ it. Nothing you can do about it. But you can use the tax revenue from all the crap they buy for their weddings to pave roads, pay teachers, and give the firefighters what they need. Plus, don’t you think that maybe some of those orphan kids in foster homes would like some parents?
So I guess that’s why I care. It just seems so illogical to go the other direction. But that leads me to another question… The party that seems to be championing this ban on gay marriage is the republicans, right? But aren’t they the party of “hey government, stay out of my business?” So why do they want the government to get IN to the business of who should and shouldn’t marry? I mean I can understand that you’d want the government to step in if it was going to effect national productivity, public health, etc…but it doesn’t.
So the real question is…why do OPPONENTS of gay marriage care?
I dunno if this really counts as “irony,” but I’m laughing anyway.
August 5th, 2010 at 12:10 am
You are dead on Tim. Everything that you just expressed is exactly how i feel. I am confused as to how people can oppose this. Noone is forcing churches to perform these marriages just for the government to recognize them.
August 5th, 2010 at 12:04 pm
Exactly Jason, no one being forced to show up at their wedding, but so many closed minded people were so against this. I remember asking someone why they were so against gay marriage and all they could say back was “well why do they need to get married?” My response: “Why does anyone want to get married?”
August 5th, 2010 at 1:09 pm
“why do OPPONENTS of gay marriage care?”
Because it’ll corrupt our kids?
Because it’ll ruin the sanctity of marriage? Don’t mention divorces, that’s TOTALLY different!
Because they can’t have babies? Don’t give me that crap about impotent couples, that’s also totally different.
Because letting the gays get married is just the first step towards multiple spouses, marrying animals, or even marrying children!
Gays CAN marry, just like the rest of us! They can marry anyone of the opposite sex that they want!
And last, but certainly not least, opponents of gay marriage want to control people. Particularly people that are different than them in any way, shape, or form, and force them to be just like them. That crap you heard about “Variety is the spice of life?” Bullshit. No variety ever. Nobody should be different. We should all be robots that dress the same way, worship the same deity, act the same way, etc.
August 5th, 2010 at 1:47 pm
Side note, yes, I AM a little pissed after my last encounter with someone opposed to gay marriage. All the reasons I just listed were real reasons I got from this guy. Except the last one. I mentioned divorce, he said it was different but refused to specify how. I mentioned impotent couples, and that was also different. And again, he wouldn’t specify how. And I’m blind if I can’t see the connection between homosexuality, pedophilia, bestiality, and polygamy… it was at this point in the conversation that I lost my temper and may have called them unpleasant names >_>
August 5th, 2010 at 2:30 pm
*SIGH*…
I guess I would have to write this eventually since I made the decision to label my fandom of TANcast.
I…don’t …care…
It makes no sense to me why the people are opposed to gay marriage. There are polls stating that the number of people who oppose gay marriage has steadily declined over the past few decades, down to around 53%. A majority favor “civil unions” which would effectively grant gay couples to easily obtain the same rights as married couples. There have been no extensive, long term studies to say whether children of gay couples have any more or less problems that children of heterosexual couples. And studies have shown that the likelihood of a lesbian couple staying monogamous is equal of that of a heterosexual couple.
The only thing I could see conservatives being upset by with this is the impression of judicial activisim in this and other cases. I believe that all the laws that have been put to vote about establishing gay marriage have been voted down. However, Prop 8 is a law denying gay marriage, not enacting it. And from what I’ve read (albeit it is just a wikipedia entry), Prop 8 doesn’t seem to differ much from the Defense of Marriage Act passed under Bill Clinton which establishes marriage between a man and woman.
I think that, given time, more people will come around to the idea that gay marriage will not bring forth the downfall of society. But as I stated at the beginning of my post, I have no dog in this race, so I think it’s all pretty ridiculous on both sides.
So…I now await the flame war to begin…
August 5th, 2010 at 3:03 pm
@Joe I don’t you’ve said anything flame worthy. And, to be honest, I was trying to put into my blog narrative the fact that democrats are not exactly jumping on the fight as they should. (Re-enforcing my belief that both parties suck). I think Obama is even on record as saying he’s against gay marriage but for civil unions. Really Obama? YOU, America’s “first Black president” thinks that something that is separate but equal is fine and dandy? Again…it’s not the SAME struggle…but certainly an obvious parallel can be seen.
August 5th, 2010 at 4:02 pm
@Joe – I don’t think more people will come around to the idea of gay marriage. I think more people will come around to your idea of “I don’t care.”
@Tim – Yes, no flame wars here. The only flame needed at TANcast is the flame to cook some of Noah’s delicious recipes…
August 5th, 2010 at 4:43 pm
I’m with Tim. I see nothing flame worthy in Joe’s post. I can respect “I don’t care.” It’s those that are actually opposed that piss me off, because nobody has given a valid reason for being opposed. Most of the time, when people explain why they’re opposed, I just hear “But it’s icky!”
August 5th, 2010 at 9:23 pm
@Mike: The “But it’s icky” arguement is one that will probably not go away any time soon. My hope it that people will be able to at least accept homosexuals and treat them fairly and equally, even if they don’t condone their behaviour.
@Tim: The discrimination is still there, it is just far easier to discriminate aginst people for the color of their skin than their sexual orientation. And as bad as things are for how some homosexuals have been and are being treated, I can’t imagine it would even compare to what your parents and grandparents had to endure.
August 6th, 2010 at 1:55 am
@Joe I think I would actually respect people more if they’d just come out and say “But it’s icky.” They try to dress it up as something else, though, and that pisses me off. I’m so passionate about the whole “gays/lesbians getting married” thing because most of my friends are lesbians (yes, lesbians. I have exactly one male friend), and quite a few of them want to get married. I have a friend who’s been dating the same girl for (Checking with her as I type this to make sure I don’t get it wrong) 7 years or so. That’s longer than almost any straight couple I’ve ever known lasting. Hell, my parents only made it six. I see no reason why they shouldn’t have the right to be married. I don’t see how their personal lives affect anyone else. After all, it is THEIR personal lives. It’s not Jimbo Bob from down the street’s personal life. It’s not Betty Sue’s, or anyone else’s. That’s why I like your “I don’t care” attitude. And I hope more people come around to your way of thinking.
And sorry my comments on this have been so long, but, as I said, I’m rather passionate about this issue because I have so many friends who are actually affected by it.
August 6th, 2010 at 9:56 am
My marriage means something to me, as it should, but when you know that you get to do something but others do not, purely because of prejudice, how can you help but feel that the whole institution of marriage is diminished?
August 6th, 2010 at 9:37 pm
What I am about to post is copy/pasted from a somewhat heated debate on my good friend’s facebook status. his dad is highly religious and very conservative, and he is quite outspoken about it. I left this comment about 16 responses into the debate.
” Here are my two cents. I’ve been trying not to say anything because everyone is going to disagree anyway, but I can’t keep my mouth shut any longer.
Christianity is all fine and dandy, and being (technically) Mormon myself I understand where everyone is coming from. But the trouble with Prop 8, and many similar bills, laws, etc., at least in my eyes, is this: Who is any one person (aside from God) to tell anyone else how to live his or her life. If you think homosexuality is a sin and that sinners go to Hell or wherever, fine. Let them go to Hell. Whether or not they’re getting married they are still going to be gay and are going to suffer these supposed consequences anyway. If two people want to be committed to each other so be it. Are they a lesser class of human beings in the eyes of man-made law because they are sinning? No. So they shouldn’t be treated as such. If you want to help people see the word of God, etc. etc. fine, share your beliefs and spread the gospel, knock on doors, whatever you want to do. But don’t make your beliefs mandatory. Live at let live. Worry about your own afterlife and let others burn.”
Short version: butt the fuck out. mind your own business and move on.
August 7th, 2010 at 10:18 am
I have heard the argument from people that their issue with this is one judge has overturned a popular vote, essentially stating that the opinion of one man has overruled the will of the people. I can to some extent understand that, but my argument is there never should have been a vote in the first place. You shouldn’t get to vote on whether or not any group of people should be treated differently from the rest of us based on race or religion or sexual preference. If I introduced Prop 8, and replaced the term “homosexuals” with the term “Mexicans”, I would be labeled a horrible person, but why is that any different? You don’t get to tell some people they are “less than” everybody else.
August 7th, 2010 at 11:53 am
The judge did exactly what the judiciary is constitutionally mandated to do: he overturned a law based on a higher law, the US Constitution.
I guess if you can’t win an argument on the facts, you claim “majority rules” and then whine about your will and activist judges…
August 7th, 2010 at 12:27 pm
@Jerry Actually if you replaced “homosexuals” with the term “Mexicans” in Arizona, you’d be a hero
August 8th, 2010 at 5:01 pm
@Andy: Exactly right. We have a system of checks and balances in our government for a reason. It’s a damn good thing America doesn’t rely solely on the popular vote.
August 13th, 2010 at 3:16 pm
Lets pass a law that from here on out all marriages should be referred to has Civil Unions for all people. Marriage is just a word after all. Marriage is something from the bible isn’t it? We are suppose to have separation of church and state after all, right? So everyone getting a Civil Union according to the papers they sign and the rights that piece of paper gives. You get “Married” when some religious figure in a church says your “Married” I was “married” to my wife outside, by a judge, there for I have a piece of paper that should be called a “Civil Union Contract” but is referred to as a “Marriage License” just because that is common wording..Anyone see any problems with this? I mean really it is just a word. Let homosexuals enjoy the same rights as all others in the USA. One more thing, I see nothing wrong with Polygamy as long as all parties are of age and consenting. I wouldn’t mind a second or third wife as long as we all loved each other.
August 13th, 2010 at 10:02 pm
Polygamy’s great! I would totally let my husband get a second wife. We could split up the chores. She can do all the house work, and I could tend to my husband’s penis. And “polish his Crocs.” And by “Crocs,” I totally mean “balls.”