This is the second in my ongoing series of extremely stupid things you can whip up and shove in your head-hole to eventually convert into some poop.

Today I bring you a recent creation, dreamed up by my wife on Monday and whipped up by me minutes later…

Four-Cheese Macaroni

1. Get yourself one box each of Kraft Macaroni & Cheese Dinner: Three Cheese with Mini-Shell Pasta and Kraft Macaroni & Cheese Dinner: White Cheddar
2. Combine both boxes of pasta in a sufficient amount of boiling water
3. Boil for 7-8 minutes (11-13 metric), stirring whenever you can muster the courage
4. Drain water into something that won’t melt or scream
5. Stir in approximately 1/2 cup (0.0010081 barrel) of milk and 1/3 cup (21.333 fluid drams) of margarine or butter with the stove on low heat
6. Slowly stir in both packets of pseudo-cheese-product powder
7. Continue stirring until the entire thing is one color and no longer looks as much like it isn’t really cheese

According to the boxes, this makes 6 servings. If you are an actual adult human who hasn’t has gastric bypass surgery (the FDA “serving” definition is based on what a bypassed stomach will hold), then this makes 3-4 servings. If you are a big fat fucker like me, grab your favorite punch bowl and go to town on this single-serving delight.

Since I’ve only made and consumed this once, and only days ago at that, I make no promises about this combination plate for the lazy not causing lupus or ass-cancer.