TANcast 032 – Natalie Portman is Awesome
January 5th, 2009 . by Tim Babb (TANcast's #1 Host/Editor Fan)New Year, same ol’ TANcast…
In this episode Tim spoils the Dark Knight, Tim tattles on Noah, the guys pick the 5 celebrities they get to have sex with (no questions asked), Andy disses Golden Compass, Noah disses Uwe Boll and “busy” people, we learn about the TANboys’ superpowers, and a few celebrities come in to sign off the show.
Please vote for us at Podcast Alley:
http://podcastalley.com/podcast_details.php?pod_id=67598
This week’s TANlaughs were sent in by NO ONE! Get on it, people!
Send your jokes for TANlaughs to: Andy (at) TANcast.com
[CONTENT WARNING] TANcast features mature language and immature hosts. Listener discretion is advised.
***SHOW LINKS***
Samwell sings What What in My Butt
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fbGkxcY7YFU
Dave Chappelle’s For What It’s Worth Comedy Special
http://www.amazon.com/Dave-Chappelle-What-Its-Worth/dp/B0009VRHLU
Tim’s Dream Celebrity
http://c3.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images02/48/l_a7cee1bfa5db4b03b094c54866e7c65a.jpg
Andy’s Dream Celebrity
http://c3.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images02/60/l_7211782b131c4238946faf59cc163c7a.jpg
Noah’s Dream Celebrity
http://c3.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images02/1/l_dfe1e48493474c33873e5f2e91aecbc6.jpg
Eddie Murphy sings Boogie in Your Butt
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gNWEeLz125Q
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Subscribe: RSS
January 5th, 2009 at 12:27 pm
FIRST!!!!!!
Oh, shit – sorry guys, thought I was at Perez Hilton for a second there…
January 5th, 2009 at 2:25 pm
Here’s the updated picture of Nikki Cox just for you Andy
January 5th, 2009 at 2:26 pm
damn I guess you can’t post images on here:
http://www.awfulplasticsurgery.com/archives/nikki_cox_yummy_boobs.jpg
January 5th, 2009 at 3:16 pm
Mmmmm. Nikki’s boobs…
There was one episode of Unhappily Ever After where her mom was (IIRC) telling her to project by sucking in her middle and puffing out her chest. It was the best magic trick I ever saw: Making mountains out of slightly-smaller mountains.
If the reduction rumors are true (and that pic looks like they might be) then I hope she’s an organ donor. Some starving orphan could get her leftovers and instantly shoot to stardom, or at least porndom. That shit can really change a life!
I’ll just remember them like they were a decade ago. Jay Mohr can be happy (and believe me, that tubby bastard better be) with the leftovers.
Now, lets try something…
BOOYAH!
That’s pic is brought to you by:
<div align="center"><a href="http://www.awfulplasticsurgery.com/archives/nikki_cox_yummy_boobs.jpg"><img src="http://www.awfulplasticsurgery.com/archives/nikki_cox_yummy_boobs.jpg" height="183" width="208"></a></div>PS: To everyone reading, don’t go using this to post any bigass pics in your comments. If you slow down page loads too much or blow up the page layout I’ll just turn your IMG tag into a link.
PPS: If you embed an image in a comment, please be a good citizen and tell the web browser how many pixels high and wide you want to display the image. Modern browsers will look at the declared size and will leave room in their layout. If there is no explicit size, they’ll have to load enough of the image file to get the size, then redo the layout. This is also a good way to avoid stretching the page layout (going over about 400-500px wide) without manually resizing and posting them somewhere.
PPS: Yes, I coded the tag to make the image display as half the original size.
January 5th, 2009 at 5:44 pm
I got mentioned. Awesome.
January 5th, 2009 at 10:46 pm
Dammit Andy, I sent you three weeks worth of TANlaughs for just such an emergency! Geez, let me think of some [Read: look some up] and I’ll send them in. I have nothing else to say this week. Granted, there’s 21 minutes left, but oh well. I have nothing else to say.
January 6th, 2009 at 8:25 am
Noah: what gauge are your ear piercings? Also do you have any tattoos?
January 6th, 2009 at 8:30 am
By the way, the album art for this week’s episode is fucking scary!!!!! My wife saw it and got kinda freaked out, I think.
January 6th, 2009 at 12:36 pm
Ok, so can we now start calling the guy listeners “TANcasties”, and the lady listeners “TANnasties”? Please?
January 6th, 2009 at 6:39 pm
I like “TANnasties”…probably way more than I should
January 7th, 2009 at 1:53 am
TANcasties doesn’t ring well with me.
January 7th, 2009 at 4:26 am
You didn’t like my game night…
You don’t like TANcasties…
Is there no pleasing you, sir?! 😉
January 7th, 2009 at 7:08 am
TANcasties sound like something you find on the bottom of a table at pizza hut. I love everything else.
January 7th, 2009 at 12:12 pm
TANnasties it is, or we are, or whatever – ok with you, Jess?
January 7th, 2009 at 12:13 pm
Oh fuck, not Jess – stupid assumption there. Who’s the girl here I’m supposed to catfight for the #1 female fan spot? Too lazy to look it up…much too lazy…
January 7th, 2009 at 2:22 pm
Hey! I have nothing to say but I wanted to be apart of this TANcast comments! Whatsup everybody! Oh yeah Happy New Year!
January 7th, 2009 at 5:27 pm
Haha that’s me I suppose. And I’m down with TANnasties…haha.
January 7th, 2009 at 5:27 pm
Oh shit. I forgot my number.
January 7th, 2009 at 11:35 pm
Every now and then in this episode, there’s the sound of something like a plastic water bottle being squeezed and released… a notification sound effect, perhaps?… then at about 56 mins, someone starts playing with Velcro?
Given the choice between Fantasy Football team ownership and Celebrity Sex List coming true, I’ll take the latter… Anne Hathaway definitely is a great choice. Tim, I suspect Shakira is on your list for the same reason Parminder Nagra is on mine… so we can know what it feels like to be taller than the woman.
Surprised no one picked Tina Fey to get their nerd swerve on and Jessica Alba or Salma Hayek would be my Latina choice over Ms. Potato Head Downward Smile Mendez.
Cate Blanchett suffers from the “attractive, but hard to put into words why” syndrome. Also, I keep getting her confused in publicity photos with Tilda Swinton.
January 8th, 2009 at 9:09 am
I heard the velcro too!!
Also I think my earphones are dead from Tim laughing so loud (no joke). Deaf by TANcast.
And by the way, Princess Edamame, I’m a dude.
January 8th, 2009 at 10:46 am
Hey just wanted to say me and my brother both love Tancast, just don’t get on the comments section ever.
Keep it up guys.
Logan
Ithaca, ny
January 8th, 2009 at 10:48 am
I certainly don’t want to get in a catfight. You are more than welcome to the spot. It’s not that I’m not a fan or anything, but girls fight dirty, and I want no part of that.
Even after knowing what’s behind the album art, it’s still kind of disturbing. No, I lied. It’s a LOT disturbing.
January 8th, 2009 at 8:13 pm
What?? No CAT FIGHT??? This shit sucks, I’m gonna go play some video games, call me when the ladies start going at it.
January 8th, 2009 at 9:14 pm
Dean, awesome! Thanks for posting your list too…I forgot to ask y’all to do that.
Ladies can do it too…My wife’s list is Ryan Reynolds (aka Hottie McHotterson), Justin Long, Mark Ruffalo, Sean William Scott, and Topher Grace
I must apologize for the Velcro..I was packing for my trip back to LA during the show.
And Logan, welcome!
January 9th, 2009 at 6:40 am
Okay, first of all…. I turn 18 on Sunday! I know it’s not relevant, but I’m stoked (Heh…. when’s the last time someone said “stoked”).
Second, five celebs…. Eh hell, I’m not gonna bother thinking of five, because only two come to mind, and I’m too lazy to take the time to come up with three more. Mickie James and Ashley Massaro. Both are WWE Divas (what can I say, I’m obsessed with the WWE). Actually, Ashley WAS a WWE diva… she got canned I believe. She was also on Survivor. Yeah, so not gonna take the time to come up with three more. I’m a lazy fkin bastard, and I’m tired. Actually, I take that back…. Anne Hathaway (just remembered seeing her last night on… Jay Leno? Eh, one of those shows), and yeah. That’s good enough. I’m not coming up with any more.
January 9th, 2009 at 11:48 am
Jess: My ears are at an inch and for tattoos I have a angel and devil on my shoulders.
Cheers!
January 10th, 2009 at 9:27 am
Noah: Cool, I’m on my way to an inch, need one more stretching.
January 10th, 2009 at 10:00 am
Am I the only one that thinks Anne Hathaways mouth is HUGE?
I don’t like that cause it would make my penis look small(er).
January 10th, 2009 at 1:00 pm
Ok Tim,
Here’s my list:
Hugh Jackman, Viggo Mortensen, George Eads (CSI: Las Vegas), Jon Bon Jovi, Johnny Depp
January 11th, 2009 at 2:05 am
Andy is a rotten liar! He said in Episode 29 that Elisabeth Banks was on his list. You all heard this episode…where was Ms. Banks? I’m calling you out Andy!!! You are a liar face!!!
January 11th, 2009 at 4:33 am
Well, two things. First, TANcast is no less offensive now that I’m eighteen. Second…. I don’t know what was second.
January 11th, 2009 at 12:45 pm
Happy birthday, Mike. When are we gonna get another hour and a half show? Come on Mike and Jess, beg with me.
January 11th, 2009 at 7:35 pm
Thanks Bryce, and your right… we do deserve another 90 minute show. How about it guys? We’ll call it your birthday present to me :p
January 11th, 2009 at 9:15 pm
Fuck the hour and a half show. I demand the 2 hour TANcast!!!!!!
And Happy Birthday Mike. Welcome to adulthood
January 11th, 2009 at 9:25 pm
Thanks Jess. 2 hours would be nice, but I think that’s pushing it, since at least one of these guys has responsibilities to attend to. Something about Andy having a kid to take care of, lol
January 12th, 2009 at 11:42 pm
Happy B-Day, Mike!
Tim, Mrs. Banks/Mitchell/Handelman (stage/birth/husband’s name… Thank you, Wikipedia) fell off the list when my wife subjected me to Christmas with the Kranks (AWFUL movie…) and I was reminded of Julie Gonzalo’s DSL.
Elizabeth Banks is a funny hottie and, ironically, replaced Shannon Elizabeth (Fadal) in the same position on the list when I was forced to admit she was kinda whiny after seeing her on Dancing with the People You Might Have Heard Of. Still, I have other funny on my list and, when you get down to it, BJs are BJs.
On a related note, yes, Jess, I’d noticed the size of Anne Hathaway’s mouth, but if I was concerned about my wiener looking small I’d only ever have dated people with growth hormone deficiency.
Severe growth hormone deficiency.
January 14th, 2009 at 7:57 am
Ok, I guess I can settle for another 90 minute TANcast, but I will never give up hope for the 2 hour.
Keep Hope Alive!!