Another Kevin Smith blog? …yup

Can we just let this guy fly already? This stress is clearly effecting his decision making process!

Kevin Smith is coming out with a new horror movie soon. It’s a pretty big departure for him from his usual comedies. I probably won’t see it. No offense to Kevin, I’m just not a horror movie guy. But that’s OK. I don’t have to be into EVERYTHING Kevin puts out. Just like I don’t like EVERY Harrison Ford movie, I don’t love EVERY Disneyland ride, and (believe it or not) I don’t listen to EVERY Michael Jackson song (Although I am LOVING Slave to the Rhythm). Artists change, artists grow, artists experiment…I get it. Maybe you’ll catch me with the next one (although the next one apparently going to be a hockey movie…so not likely)

So this is not a blog trying to tear Kevin down for trying something new. Not at all. Bravo sir. Set a course for “out there somewhere” and engage at warp 9. No…this blog is a face palm in text form about Kevin making the same mistake a third time.

You may remember a film called “Zach & Miri make a Porno.” Then again you may NOT remember it. Why? It probably didn’t get a lot of advertising in your area. Apparently people don’t want the word “Porno” on billboards or on tv during family hour. In fact, Kevin blamed the title and the problems it created for the film’s lack luster box office. Ok fine. Lesson learned, right? Wrong. Do you remember the movie “A Couple of Dicks?” Of course you don’t. The studio made them change the name and it ended up being called “Cop Out.” But Kevin really went to bat for “A Couple of Dicks,” apparently forgetting everything he’d just learned from the “Porno” misstep. I’m really glad he didn’t make Chasing Amy at this point in his life. He would have called it “I Banged a Lesbian”

But all that is past. He wouldn’t still be making bone-headed title decisions NOW would he? (Of course he would or this blog would be over). Kevin’s upcoming horror movie that I mentioned at the start is called “Red State.” But wait…that’s not even a little vulgar…but it IS horribly misleading. When you think of “Red State,” what comes to mind? Republicans? The south? The Tea Party? Glenn Beck? Well if any of those things came to mind, Kevin Smith thinks you are a dipshit. I’ll let him explain via MULTIPLE Twitter posts:

Kevin Smith’s Twitter

Okay: as hard as this may be to believe, we don’t trade in stereotypes in RedState. The location is never identified, but that doesn’t matter, as the Red in the title isn’t political; it’s, y’know: blood. It’s a horror flick. But anyone thinking we’re taking shots at conservatives is in for a severe let-down. It’s just NOT that movie. I’m not a political creature at all. I’m not a liberal, I just like doing my own thing…So no worries: this isn’t some kinda turkey shoot where I open fire on people who don’t live or feel the way I do. Again: IT’S JUST A HORROR movie. You bring a political agenda to RedState & you’re coming prepared to watch an entirely different film than what we made.

I cut out a bit of a tangent of how this movie was a “grown up” chance to say what he was trying to say with Dogma and still be pro faith…but the political message (or lack there of) is what caught my eye…and the eye of a random tweeter:

Random Tweeter

You must’ve known it’d lead to thoughts of it being political?

…to which he responded

Kevin Smith’s Twitter

Sometimes a banana is just a banana, sir. Red = blood.

And now you’ve reached the point of this blog…how insulated do you have to be to not see that calling a film “Red State” will bring to mind political overtones in 90- 95% of the people who hear the title? But he won’t even allow for that possibility! As evidenced when some one asked him why he named it “Red State” if it’s not political…

Kevin Smith’s Twitter

One more time, for the cheap seats: IT’S A FUCKING HORROR MOVIE, DIPSHIT! Red = blood!

There you have it. If you think of politics when you hear “Red State,” Kevin Smith thinks you’re a dipshit. The only possible reason for the word “Red” to be in the title of a horror movie is to denote blood. I admit there is some logic to the red/blood connection, but why not call it “Blood State” and avoid the confusion? Fuck you, that’s why!

Which reminds me…keep a look out for my new romantic comedy “Anal Sex.” It’s about an obsessive compulsive guy trying to find love. What?! No it has nothing to do with rectal intercourse! Sometimes anal just refers to someone’s personality. If you come to “Anal Sex” expecting butt humping, you’re coming prepared to watch an entirely different film than what we made.

PS-Be glad I wrote this out as a blog instead of 33 twitter posts!