A long while ago, someone got me a “children’s book” by Jerry Seinfeld.

Available wherever people are still selling books

I put “children’s book” in quotes because it’s really just a bit from his act turned SUPER G-rated and illustrated. Not that it’s less cool because of this, I just didn’t want to make it sound like Jerry Seinfeld woke up one day and wrote a kids’ book.

So the other day I decide to read this book to my child since it’s almost Halloween. A lot of the jokes are probably over his head and some of the references he will NEVER get (when was the last time they sold those loose rubber costumes with the cheap plastic masks?) …but he loved it. I’m no expert on such things, but it might be the recurring theme of candy in the story.

We read it through a couple times and at one point my son asks me about the person who wrote the story. So I was trying to explain Jerry Seinfeld to my 3 year-old and without thinking I said, “He gets on a stage and makes people laugh just like daddy does.” At that point, I was really glad my kid was only 3…so he couldn’t call me out on what a stretch THAT was. I mean, yes that’s technically true…but I don’t want you to think I harbor any delusions of being “just like” Jerry Seinfeld.

Here’s the thing, the book also comes with a CD of Seinfeld performing the book version of this bit…

So I played that for my son, and he said he’d rather I read it.

Yeah, that’s right…my son thinks I’m funnier than Jerry Seinfeld. BOOYAH!!! (Yeah, I know he’s biased…and 3…but on the other hand, shut up!)