The dangerous thing about Throwback Thursday is that I often fall down a rabbit hole of thumbing through old pictures. For instance, this photo is of me when Andy and I were moving out of our old apartment to move IN to the TANhouse…

I look at that picture and I think, “Man, I miss those abs.” Then I make a shirt:

I Miss My Younger Self’s Metabolism Shirt by TANcast

After that, I thumb through some of the other photos from that moving day. Let me warn you, they are not for the faint of heart. Andy and I were not what you’d call “clean people.” In fact, you’d call us slobs. We had no girlfriends to impress and it showed all over our apartment. In fact, that thing I’m stabbing with the pool cue is a mountain of trash. But it’s only one of 3 piles from our move out day.

The next photos are from our kitchen. Again, if you can’t handle advanced levels of slovenly filth, please exit the blog now. Ok you’ve been warned

Ok…I started out slow. That is our tiny kitchen. Granted, we were in the middle of moving so it’s got more trash than it usually would, but holy hell! That’s trash-a-licious. I count SIX fast food cups in that one shot alone. (How did I eat like that and still have the body pictured above. I want to be able to do that again. Why have I been robbed of this power?!) That can’t be blamed on the move either. We ate out ALL the time. We rarely coocked for ourselves. Want to see proof? No you don’t, but here it is anyway.

That, friends, is a pot with CAKED ON mold! Do you know how long you have to leave something alone in the sink for the mold to fossilize? Well, me and Andy did. But we didn’t stop there…

Look at our sink! LOOK AT IT!!! Mold AND rust on our silverware and bowls. We actually had to use two hands and pull with all our might to get some of those forks unstuck from the sink.

This was how I wasted my 20’s. If that time of your life is ahead of you, I urge you to make more of it than I did. But mostly, I urge you to eat all the crappy food you can now. Because whatever you think about how you look now, you will look back on this time and say, “Damn, I looked good. I miss my younger self’s metabolism.” And then maybe you’ll buy this sweet shirt. (maybe)