31 Blogs of Christmas
Day 17

If you’re planning a holiday pizza party, I’ve got some (un)friendly advice for you: don’t invite the vegetarians.

Look vegetarians, I’m sure you’re nice people and there is no doubt great merit to your life style choice, but it makes a pizza party suuuuuuuuck. I was recently at a pizza party for close to a hundred people. They got equal numbers of meat pizzas and veggie pizzas.

Here’s the last peperoni pizza box after about 15-20 minutes…

Now here’s one of the veggie pizza boxes 15-20 minutes AFTER THE PARTY WAS OVER!!!

And oh if that were the only vegetarian offering still around afterward. There were plenty more but I was getting strange looks for taking the pictures.

All that waste of perfectly good crust and dough on worthless vegetables. A pizza party is no time to eat healthy, people. You’ve lost. Just give up and let me have my meat.

Happy ****ing holidays!