31 Blogs of Christmas
Day 16

Several blogs ago, I talked about the Christmas song “Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer” and how its way more depressing than you remember. But that’s not the only song waiting to bum you out during the holidays. Here are 5 more songs that might be the reason that some people get so depressed this time of year…

Blue Christmas

Sure it’s a classic, but it’s about how the King will be spending Christmas alone pining for his ex. Not exactly yuletide cheer.

Most depressing lyrics:
When those blue snowflakes start fallin’
That’s when those blue memories start callin’

Last Christmas

Continuing the theme of heartache, here’s Wham singing about how they…or maybe just George…I dunno…but SOMEONE got dumped the day after Christmas. I give this the edge over Blue Christmas because this person is forever going to associate Christmas with being dumped. Worse, he’s so stuck on her that he’d totally take her back after a Christmas dumping.

Most depressing lyrics:
Now I know what a fool I’ve been.
But if you kissed me now I know you’d fool me again.

You’re A Mean One, Mr. Grinch

Nothing like a song chock full of insults. Granted the singer is insulting the Grinch and not you, but still it’s one long song talking about how the Grinch is a horrible…uh…”person.”

Most depressing lyrics:
Your sole is a appalling dump heap
Overflowing with the most disgraceful
Assortment of deplorable rubbish imaginable,
Mangled up in tangled up knots.

We Need a Little Christmas

This one’s tricky. It seems so light and peppy. If you’re not listening, it just sounds like someone is listing all the things they love about Christmas and that they want them right now. But buried deep in the song is the reason why the singer needs Christmas. Something has gone horribly wrong for the singer and they’re using Christmas to suppress their feelings. This isn’t a celebration song…this isn’t even healthy! (It’s still one of my favorites, though, so suck it up sad singer and sing it again)

Most depressing lyrics:
For I’ve grown a little leaner, Grown a little colder,
Grown a little sadder, Grown a little older,
And I need a little angel Sitting on my shoulder,
Need a little Christmas now

Christmas Shoes

F*** this song! That’s not even the song up there, it’s Patton Oswald making fun of it. F*** this song!!!

Most depressing lyrics:
She’s been sick for quite a while
And I know these shoes will make her smile
And I want her to look beautiful
If mama meets Jesus tonight