Day 25:

The older generation is always telling the younger one that the music from the old days is better than this crap on the radio. “These kids today are just singing about cheating on their women, or cheating on their women, or even being a whiny girlfriend. But back in MY day, the music was better.” Ok, smart-ass, lets look at a song from back in your day. The classic Simon & Garfunkel hit “Cecilia.”

Cecilia, you’re breaking my heart,
You’re shaking my confidence daily.
Oh cecilia, I’m down on my knees,
I’m begging you please to come home.

Ok…so far so good. Well not “good,” but par for the course for a song about a break up. She’s leaving him and he’s sad about it. Well that’s sad but that’s not uncommon. I’m pretty sure most musicians only become musicians so that people will listen to them pine on and on about the girl who dumped them. “If I put this to music, people will have to listen to my pain…as they dance.”

Cecilia, you’re breaking my heart,
You’re shaking my confidence daily.
Oh cecilia, I’m down on my knees,
I’m begging you please to come home.

Cecilia, the song so nice they sang the first part twice.

Making love in the afternoon with Cecilia
Up in my bedroom,
I got up to wash my face
When I come back to bed,
Someone’s taken my place.

Woah, woah, woah…what?! Let’s recap that verse step by step. He and Cecilia have sex in his bedroom. So far, its a good day. Then he gets up to wash his face. Good to see he was putting his all into it. But then he goes back to the bedroom and there’s another dude in the bed. WTF?! Not only is she cheating on you, she’s doing it in your own bedroom?! …minutes after you just had sex?! How long were you washing your face, dude? Didn’t you hear him come in? (no pun intended) That is one brazen whore! It might be time to let that relationship go.

Cecilia, you’re breaking my heart,
You’re shaking my confidence daily.
Oh cecilia, I’m down on my knees,
I’m begging you please to come home.

Shaking your confidence? Yeah I’d say so. If someone cheated on me mere minutes after we’d just done the nasty, I don’t think I’d be feeling like the world’s best lover. Then again, I doubt I’d be begging for said lady to come home. Especially if she’s just gonna bring other dudes into my room when she comes home.

Jubilation,
She loves me again,
I fall on the floor and I’m laughing

So…you’re just gonna let that go? “Yeah, she brought another dude into my house and had sex with him in my bed while I was in the bathroom washing her stink off my face…but she loves me. So it’s all good.”

Jubilation,
She loves me again,
I fall on the floor and I’m laughing.

He’s not laughing because he’s happy…he’s laughing because he’s insane. Someone lock Simon Garfunkel in a padded cell and get him some herpes medicine. Trust me, he’s gonna need it.