Okay so yesterday was April Fool’s (as one of the “fools” on this site demonstrated with his usual flair and skill) I was keeping things low key yesterday and joining fan pages and groups that I disagree with on Facebook. For instance, I joined Sarah Palin’s fan page as well as Glen Beck’s. Ha ha! Funny to me and a few of my pals who got the joke. I didn’t post anything on these groups because I wasn’t doing it to start shit, just to make myself laugh. So I went to resign from the groups after midnight and when I got to the last one, a group that purported to be a group that was against the health care bill, I read some of the most ignorant hateful shit! A small sampling:

“Wish Obama had Micheal Jackson’s Docter…”

“Someone needs to walk up to Obama, look him straight in the eyes, and bitchslap him right across the face.”

“That what happen’s when you start letting FRIED CHICKEN eating mother f er’s run the country ???”

Now in fairness, a number of the group’s members posted disapproving comments on that last one. But the other two had many “likes” and there were plenty of similarly themed comments posted as replies to much more reasoned posts and links. It was enough to make me post the following on my way out:

“I joined this group to be ironic for April Fool’s Day. After reading some posts, I feel bad for you. A few of you have some very valid and interesting points that could really make the debate more productive…but you seem to be surrounded by crying babies who wouldn’t like Obama or the democrats no matter what they did or didn’t do. Good luck with your little group, kids.”

Someone decided to post a reply saying “it’s april 2nd.” Since I had left the group, I couldn’t reply to her so I sent her a message:

“I joined the group on April Fool’s Day. I removed myself today.

Have a great life.
-Tim”

To which she responded:
“already got one… hope the view is nice with your head up your bum =)”

Really? REALLY?! My head is up my bum? Didn’t I just say that this group had “some very valid and interesting points that could really make the debate more productive?” I know I did, actually, that’s why I just quoted it. Way to pick an argument where there wasn’t one. Well, whatever, that was just one comment it’s not like…what? there are more comments on my post now? aw crap…

“Bye Tim..”
Okay that one’s not bad. This might not be the train wreck I was fearing it would be…

“Tim…looks like a pretty big group to me!! Funny, I was just on the opposite sides page. Looks like they don’t have even half of the people here!! Hmm…I guess the majority of Americans have spoken. Sorry kid. :)”
1st of all, a million or so people on the internet is not the majority of Americans. A million people isn’t even the majority of the city of Houston, Texas. Second of all the Jonas brothers fan page has 2 million people so, by your logic, the majority of Americans apparently like teen Disney pop.

“i think you need another B in your last name!”
…I don’t know what that means.

“gosh, now I feel bad that you feel bad… oh wait never mind k bye”
Can’t begrudge that comment. It’s a little defensive, but it’s kinda funny.

“Little group? I believe your “support healthcare” group is approximately 96.7% smaller than ours.”
Naturally because I criticize this group I must be a member of the other group, right? OOPS! I’m not. I did, however, pop over to their page after reading this comment. You know what I found? A lot of people from this group over there trolling that group and saying inflammatory shit just to be dicks. Nice, folks. Way to keep it classy. Why won’t they listen to your ideas? Why can’t we find some middle ground where both sides get SOMETHING they want out of this deal? It’s a mystery.

“I think it’s been mostly the last few days that people on here have gotten very frustrated–especially because of some people coming on here just to try to annoy us.

Most of the time most people on here are far from hateful.”
See? THIS is the person I feel bad for. Probably has some excellent points to make that have nothing to do with bitch slaps or racism. But because her group mates say stupid shit, it gets the opposition to say stupid shit and now it’s just a stupid shit volleyball game where no one wins (Yes, I am quite willing to entertain the idea that the opposition said stupid shit first…the result is the same) But sorry, from the posts I read, most of the people on there are very near to hateful.

“Some people here aren’t old enough to vote. My cat is also a part of this group. Not the farty one, the other one.”
I think this is actually a liberal trying to get a rise out of the conservatives. I’m not sure I get it. Liberals can’t you even TROLL well? Sheesh!

“Since when is being a “kid” a bad thing? Age isn’t always an indicator of intelligence.”
Oh look at that, it worked. This person was trolled. But don’t rope my use of the word “kids” into this.

“See ya Tim ya little bitch!”
This was one of the broad minded scholars trolling on the pro-health care bill group. Do you catch his subtle wit and nuance?

“[name removed]-agreed. even the youngsters, such as myself, have more intelligence than the zombies in the other group =)”
The opposition is always a group of zombies but your group is all ways the free thinkers marching in lockstep with each other…riiiiight.

“he said,”Little group”…..”
Yeah…I did…that was a little dicky. But to be fair, the Jonas Brothers still beat your numbers by a big margin.

“tim- you feel bad for us, eh? you didn’t know that april fools day was yesterday, did you? sorry.”
That’s the same girl who made the first comment…I guess she hadn’t read my e-mail at this point (At least I hope not, or she’s a moron)

“Thanks [name removed], I’m 24 and a college graduate. Yet somehow I don’t believe that age or level of education lable a persons intelligence or life experiences, which sometimes teaches us a lot more than formal education.”
It’s always funny to see a spelling error while someone is boasting about their education. But nitpicking aside, point well taken. While reason is not a substitute for knowledge, it’s not unimportant either.

Well, I guess the biggest April Fool’s joke was on me, cause I wasted a chuck of my life reading all that crap. Well played, haters…well played indeed.