Tim Babb’s March Blog Madness: Day 26

Chatroulette is the site getting all the attention, but unless you’re a guy with a piano, you don’t get much actual chatting done. You see someones face and they disconnect, you a new person’s face and they disconnect, you see a guy wailing on his private parts and they disconnect…(Really penis guy? YOU’RE disconnecting on ME?) That’s why I like Omegle. There’s an option for no cameras so you actually have to have conversations before people can disconnect on you. Conversations like these…

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi!
You: no..I say
You: hello
Stranger: lol ok then…
You: becasue that’s how I roll
Stranger: coool
Stranger: your a guy then?
You: I am
Stranger: :/
You: guys say hello?
Stranger: i dont, but im a woman and before you get any ideas im a lesbian
You: too late I had an idea
Stranger: and that was………?
You: what if you made a griled cheese sandwich with peperoni and motzerella cheese in it
You: then got some pizza sause to dip it
Stranger: ok…..
You: it’d be a grilled pizza sandwich
You:: that’s a good idea
Stranger: riiight, bye!!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
(Who knew that lesbians hated pizza and/or grilled cheese so much?)
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You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: Hi ask me 5 challenging questions and ill answer it. No ordinary question.
You: Which weighs more: the Empire State Building or the ancient Pyramid of King Cheops?
You: no fair Googling it 😉
Stranger: haha.. mm.. empire state?
You: sure…I have no idea. I just wanted a challenging question for you
Stranger: 4 question left..
You: What is your least favorite smell in the world?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
(Wow…they couldn’t even make it past question 2. Too bad, because question 3 was, “Why don’t you kill yourself?”)
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You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: HeY
You: howdy stranger
Stranger: I’m fine and u?
You: I’m good
Stranger: From ?
You: California
You: yourself?
Stranger: France
You: Awesome
You: I’ve never been
You: but I’d like to someday
Stranger: Yes it’s a nice country
Stranger: Are you a student?
You: no…I am a stand up comedian
You: are you a student?
Stranger: YEs
Stranger: m/F ?
You: m
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
(this is a recurring theme known as “Men are not worth my time”)
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You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Hey! I’m a dude
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
(See?)
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You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: m/f
You: m
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
(The theme is alive and well)
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You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
You: hi
Stranger: asl
You: 32/m/usa
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
(Maybe they disconnected because I’m an American this time…I’ll never know…yes I will…it’s ’cause I’m an old dude)
***********************

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hello
You: hi
Stranger: asld
Stranger: asl*+
You: 32/m/california
Stranger: kool
You: Wow!
Stranger: what
You: The last 5 people disconnected
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
(Bastard lulled me into a false sense of security with hat “kool.” Damn you! Koooooool!!!)
***********************
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
You: hi
Stranger: where r u froM///??
You: California
You: you?
Stranger: france
Stranger: r u a horny girl??
You: nope. I’m a bored guy
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
(I guess one IS a poor substitute for the other…even in France)
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You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hey, asl? 🙂
You: Balls
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
(Heh heh…see what I did? I said “balls.” I should try that again)
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You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: balls
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
(HA HA!!! Just as fulfilling the second time)
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You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: heloooooo
You: hellooooo
You: 😀
Stranger: who are you?
You: I’m Batman
Stranger: hello batman im the joker
You: uh oh
Stranger: WHY SO SERIOUS?
You: don’t take any sleeping pills
You: (too soon?)
Stranger: NO
Stranger: FUNNY AS HELL
Stranger: l
Stranger: o
Stranger: l
Stranger: he died
You: that he did
Stranger: so anyway where is the batman from?
You: Batman is from California
Stranger: hey so is the joker
You: oh snap
Stranger: is it a female batman?
You: nope
You: I put the man in batman
Stranger: KJHNASDKL;GNSIOVNOASVNAS
Stranger: GOOOOOOOBYE
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
(I think the Joker had a stroke there at the end. But really, how is he surprised? Why would a girl call herself “Batman?” She would go with “BatGirl” or better yet, “Wonder Woman.”)
***********************

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger:: im horny!
You: lets fuck
Stranger: m or f?
You: m but if you close your eyes it’s all the same, baby
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
(Some people are just close minded)
***********************

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: oh yeah
You: it’s chattin’ time!
Stranger: How are you today?
You: I’m good
You: you?
Stranger: I just saved $43 thanks to TANcast.com
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
(Ok this bot/turd didn’t really say “TANcast.com” but fuck if I’m going to advertise for him)
***********************
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hey
You: hey
You: what’s crackin’?
Stranger: nothing nigga
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
(How’d they know I was Black? Spooky)
***********************

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: Hi
Stranger: May your ancestors be struck by a thousand dicks!
You: in the past?
Stranger: hmmm
You: is that a time travel curse?
Stranger: your mother is a man.
You: that is physically impossible
Stranger: My shoe on your head, pig!
Stranger: you are as ugly as a salad.
You: salads are ugly?
You: I think cucumbers are adorable
Stranger: May you be raped by a blind bear in the forest!
You: what kind of blind bear?
You: Grizzly?
You: Brown Bear?
Stranger: My dick in your conscience!
Stranger: I shit on your dead!
You: I don’t think you make sense
Stranger: Oh that sucks. I’ve spent the last three years majoring in English at Stanford…
You: I go to Stanford too!
Stranger: what is your major?
You: Applied Mathematics
Stranger: cool
You: are you on campus now?
Stranger: yeah
You: wanna meet up at PF Changs next door?
Stranger: no
You: That way I can fuck you in your eye socket!!!
You: BOOM!!!!
Stranger: right…
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
(I guess this was insult practice for this person…but joke’s on them…I don’t go to Stanford! HA!)
***********************

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hey
You: hey hey
Stranger: whatsup faggot
You: you are the one who is the one who is the faggot
Stranger: YES
Stranger: I AM
Stranger: suck my hairy mouth
You: is it hairy INSIDE or just like a beard?
Stranger: i dont have a beard u retard. im a girl.
You: I thought you were a faggot
Stranger: i have herpes
Stranger: and
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
(Can you call lesbians “fagots?” That was not my understanding. Where is that lesbian who doesn’t like ideas when you need her?)
***********************

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: male
Stranger: hello
Stranger: you male o female?
You: male
You: I knew you were gonna ask
Stranger: bye bye
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
(At least this dude said “bye bye”)
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You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hello i really dont care about ur age and from so… tell me the truth that how old are you and where are you from?
You: 32 old dude from California
Stranger: hey
You: hey
You: how’s that grab ya?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
(Nobody likes a liar)
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You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: Are you a horny girl willing to gave webcam sex or sext with me?
You: yes
Stranger: asl?
You: first send me $20
You: I’m a cyber whore
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
(Uh oh…my cyber pimp is gonna beat me tonight)
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You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: I’m a 32 year old dude from California…wanna disconnect?
Stranger: yes
You: go for it
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
(It’s good to get it over with quickly and move on)
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You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: I’m a 32 year old dude from California…wanna disconnect?
Stranger: m or f?
You: you’re an idiot
Stranger: shut up
Stranger: fuck u
You: well what do YOU think “dude” means?
You: stumped you, huh, moron?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
(I’m amazed that person knew how to work a computer much less the internet)
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You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi asl
You: 32/m/USA
You: 3
You: 2
You: 1
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
(Nailed it!)
***********************

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: PASTA
You: um…garlic bread
Stranger: YOU’RE DOIN’ IT WRONG
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
(Anyone know the RIGHT answer here?)
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