I just got my Star Trek uniform in the mail today and it made me think about how I’ve wanted this thing since the early 90’s. Then I realized that my life now would really impress me as a kid. SO If I had a chance, these would be the things I would tell my younger self:

7) You know how you keep getting in trouble for trying to be funny in class…when you grow up, you will try and be funny for a living. (Don’t worry, little Tim doesn’t fully understand the value of money. He’ll think making $2,000 a year is a lot)

6) You’re going to live long enough to see a Black man become president…and all your White friends are gonna say that the two of you look alike.

5) One day you’re going to live down the street from Harrison Ford’s son’s restaurant

4) You will live long enough to see Michael Jackson become popular again (sadly, HE won’t)

3) You will be able to dress up like a Starfleet Captain, Superman, Darth Vader, Batman, or a Pirate at a moment’s notice because you will own all of those costumes (plus TWO Kermit the Frog puppets).

2) You are going to get a pass that will let you go to Disneyland everyday of the year!

1) You know all those girls who’ve been rejecting you? You’re going to meet a girl 10 times more beautiful, and smart, and funny and she’s going to spend the rest of her life with you…and you don’t even have to trick her!!!