30 Days and 30 Blogs: Day 19

Why do I do this? Why am I comedian? I don’t ask this because I don’t think I’m funny, I ask this because the job of stand-up comedian involves a lot of rejection…and I apparently can’t deal well with rejection. It’s almost the end of the preliminary round of the San Francisco Comedy Competition. The first 2 nights I placed in the top 5, which is good. I felt happy about it, but was determined that I still needed to do better. The second two nights I did NOT place in the top 5…the anger that welled within me was enough to make me turn to the dark side and force choke Padame. I don’t know why. There are 14 other comics and they’re all good…some of them are REALLY good. I realize every competition has to have a loser. But when that loser is me, I just see red. It’s kind of like my hatred of gambling. I know there’s risk going in but I get so emotionally invested that when I lose, I also lose my mind!

Let me be clear, I don’t think that I am the most awesome comedian who ever lived (or even in the top 150). Thusly, I don’t believe I should win every contest I enter. But something about NOT winning spikes the gamma rays in my bloodstream and makes me want to SMASH!!!

Thankfully, I’ve gotten good at not shooting my mouth off. ‘Cause in my mind I’m blaming everyone from the crowd to the judges to the people who made the line up to the other comedians. It’s only as I cool off in the car ride on the way home that I really start to step back and point the blame inward. I’m the one who has to step my game up, not anyone else. I can’t keep second guessing my material, I have to go with what works and believe in it to the end. I know these jokes can rock a house, because I’ve been the one telling them when they have. (I don’t know if you can tell, but I’ve been listening to the Rocky soundtrack for the last hour)

So tomorrow is the final show of this round in Santa Cruz. It’s make or break time. If I don’t place in the top 5, I am effectively done in this competition. So I am going to bring it with everything I’ve got. I’ve played the Crow’s Nest before, I usually do well there. It’s a rowdy crowd but they like to laugh if you can hold their attention. Tomorrow, I will hold their attention! I will have the set of my life tomorrow! I will make people laugh until they pee (or fart). I’m “leaving it all on the ice tomorrow,” as Kevin Smith would say! I may be beaten and bruised, but I can hear the crowd chanting “Roc-ky! Roc-ky! Roc-ky!” And I know I have to get up and get back in there…because it’s not about how hard you hit…it’s about how hard you can GET hit and keep moving forward. It’s about how much you can take and keep moving forward. That’s how winning is done!!!

I think I have whipped myself into a frenzy with enough cliches and sports metaphors…now let’s go tell some dick jokes!!! (Note: I do not actually have any “dick jokes” in my act)