A Dorky Debate
January 25th, 2009 . by Tim Babb (TANcast's #1 Host/Editor Fan)The following is a transcript from an IM conversation between Tim and Noah (interrupted by Tim’s wife Dynelle) that lead to the discussion in the first part of TANcast 034. (Some of the typos have been corrected for ease of reading)
noah: faggy boy
timbabbcomedian: Hey Noah, its Dynelle. I have a question for you. Tim and I are having a disagreement.
noah: oh goody, i get pulled into the drama
timbabbcomedian: I say that I am a smidge less dorky then Tim and he says that I am every bit as dorky as he is… but that I am hot.
timbabbcomedian: I say that by virtue the hotness makes me less dorky and he disagrees. Thoughts?
timbabbcomedian: so two questions.1. Am I as dorky at Tim? 2. Does hotness save you from total dorkiness?
noah: i say tim is more dorky
noah: attractiveness counteracts dorkiness
timbabbcomedian: YES!!! I knew it
[at this point, Dynelle is doing a victory dance]
noah: it distracts you
timbabbcomedian: Ok this is Tim again
noah: steph says tim too
timbabbcomedian: Just distracting FROM the dorkiness doesn’t take it away
noah: well your dorkiness is about perception
timbabbcomedian: dorkiness is a quantity like money…just because you look like you don’t have money and people treat you like you don’t …if you have the money you have the money…Dynelle has the dorkiness
timbabbcomedian: like smarts
timbabbcomedian: a blonde may not be percieved as smart but she can still act smart
noah: but smarts is also who you are around
noah: it is relative
timbabbcomedian: it is a quantifiable personality trait
timbabbcomedian: (Dynelle disagrees with me on this point)
noah: you can’t quantify it
timbabbcomedian: a test could be developed
noah: there is no dorky scale
noah: and you are bias
noah: about you and Dynelle
timbabbcomedian: just because no one HAS developed a dork scale doesn’t mean one couldn’t be made and then people’s dorkiness tested
timbabbcomedian: (Dynelle says I’m dorking out in front of her…what she doesn’t realize is…I’m just a non-loser)
timbabbcomedian: hidden in a loser’s body
timbabbcomedian: (Dynelle wrote that last line)
timbabbcomedian: Aren’t you glad you were still on line for this?
noah: tim is like dulk
noah: his clothes rip and he dorks out
noah: and starts putting on mickey shirts
timbabbcomedian: LMAO I’m wearing one now
noah: of course you are
noah: that is another thing
noah: Dynelle’s dorkiness is more subtle
noah: you wear your doriness on your mickey mouse t-shirt sleeve
timbabbcomedian: I so want to talk about this on the show tomorrow
noah: ok
timbabbcomedian: I’m going to save this discussion for future reference
noah: lol
noah: umm ok
The following IM conversation happened after the episode was recorded but before it was posted…so if you want to save any of the mystery, don’t read below the line until you’ve heard episode 34.
timbabbcomedian: so I think your point is dorkinessis an opinion rather than a fact?
noah: generally speaking, i mean there are things that most would consider dorky
noah: but not all
timbabbcomedian: so then there is no empirical answer to whether a person is dorky or not?
noah: i would say not really
noah: all depends on who you ask
timbabbcomedian: so then Dynelle isn’t less dorky than me…it’s just your OPINION that she is…thus it is invalid and I win
timbabbcomedian: (not really)
noah: tis true it is only my opinion
noah: you really will not let this go eh?
timbabbcomedian: My argument is that there is a definition of dorky that reasonable people can agree on
timbabbcomedian: I’m editing it now and it’s in my face
noah: ok
That is where the debate came to rest. Thoughts? Opinions?
January 25th, 2009 at 4:24 pm
Tim….you have a Disney problem. That is actually worse than dorkiness. It’s a sickness that is only cured by visiting a Disney park. So much to the point that you listen to Disney Podcasts and have even been on one. Which is how I found TANcast which makes me just as dorky as you are. But at least I admit it.
on another note, there are entire websites devoted to Leia’s Metal Bikini….hotness transcends all.
January 25th, 2009 at 4:27 pm
I guess you would have to define dorkiness, then list head-to-head all the dorky traits the two of you have, then tally the results. Is dorkiness mental or physical, or both? Can you have a dorky contest or some kind of dorky games? A Dorkathalon? An IronDork Competition? Are these dorky questions from a dorky TANcast Fan? Excuse me, my dork is hanging out…
January 25th, 2009 at 9:26 pm
I’ve gotta side with Noah and Dynelle on this one (sorry Tim). It’s like math. Dorkiness is a positive number, and hotness is like a negative number. Wait, scratch that, flip it. Hotness is positive, dorkiness is negative. Every hot point counteracts a dork point, therefor, if the dork levels are equal, Dynelle’s level of hot counters X amount of dork points, making Tim dorkier.
January 26th, 2009 at 11:26 am
So now, just to keep track, y’allz have to work out the following exchange rates:
gay bucks to US dollars
Vietnamese hookers to US dollars
hot points to dork points
Did I miss anything? Get crackin’ guys… đŸ™‚
January 26th, 2009 at 12:02 pm
Edamame, I’ve been working on it with a team of highly trained monkeys (since the TANguys don’t seem to be on top of it), and 1 gay buck is equal to approximately 1.48 US Dollars, and one vietnamese hooker is worth 5.92 US dollars. As for hot points to geek points, they are opposite ends of the spectrum, and so 1 dork point is equal to -1 hot points. And I have to be right, because the monkeys with calculators did the math for me….. At least, I think that’s right. Those are the figures I’m going with until Andy corrects me because, as we all know….. Andy is always fucking right.
January 26th, 2009 at 2:10 pm
Ah HA now there is a new wrinkle…We went out with my wife’s cousin last night (Who is technically my cousin too, but I like to be clear). She was talking about Darth Vader on Twitter (http://twitter.com/darthvader) and my wife said that “Darth Vader” was a true dork. Her cousin then said, “Yeah but his funny so that balances it out.” I’m Like, “Oh shit! FUNNY balances dorky too?!”
So the question is, am I as funny as my wife is hot? (The downside is my wife is also funny so i may not make up that much ground…it sucks to marry a person who is measurably better than you in so many ways…but then again it rocks too…so what can ya do?)
January 26th, 2009 at 9:43 pm
I missed the part where dorky and funny negate eachother… I’ll put the monkeys to work on figuring it out, and let you know what they say Time (which translates to I’ve been awake ten minutes, and I can’t think it through yet)
January 29th, 2009 at 9:10 am
Tim, the results are in, and each point of funny counters one half a point of dorky, so the question becomes… are you twice as funny as your wife is hot? If so, then you two are equally dorky.