So according to this article, Will Smith has signed on to star in TWO sequels to Independence Day. I guess they’re going to shoot them back to back like Back to the Future, Matrix, and Pirates of the Caribbean did (has that strategy EVER produced movies that most people liked?).

But here’s the quite in the article I have to take exception to:

“…the much-beloved epic still has a place in the hearts of both casual and hardcore moviegoers.”

I’m sorry, but WHAT?! This movie is not a “much-beloved epic,” it was a great event movie that falls apart upon closer look. We’ve talked about this on the show before, but from the amazing laptop that can interface with alien technology, to Will Smith’s exoskeleton rattling bare handed punch, to the dog that survives a fireball that destroys Los Angeles…there is a truck load of crap that does not need to be fleshed out into 1 moer movie much less 2.

How much story could they possibly have to tell that they need two whole movies for? Earth is decimated at the end of the first one. If another group of aliens come to invade, Earth is fucked…end of movie.

Plus the director of this is the same genius who gave us Godzilla, The Day After Tomorrow, and 2012. From the looks of things he got lucky with the first ID4 and has been trying in vein to move on to other things and now after failing repeatedly, he’s going back to the well. Just stop, Roland Emmerich, you gave it a shot…you had a great ride, but it’s over. Let sleeping aliens lie.

I got the impression that a few people thought my previous blog about Back to the Future indicated that I didn’t like the movie or that I thought the temporal paradox made the movie less enjoyable…far from it. The Back to the Future series is one of my all time favorites and so as a show of support, I shall defend this beloved movie from the criticisms leveled at it by the Now Playing Podcast. These criticisms are numbered but not in any special order. They’re just in the order I scribbled them down while re-listening to the episode and washing dishes. Also, there are 3 guys on the show Brock, Arnie, and Stuart…I didn’t keep track of who said what. So when I don’t name names below, it’s not to be insulting or anything. It’s just bad note taking. And now, you’ve gotta come back with me…

Criticism #1: Bad/Crammed Writing
One of the guys on the show contends that there is no joy in the way everything is set up and then ultimately pays off. I couldn’t disagree more. That is one of the major joys of this film. From Loraine’s story of the dance, to Doc’s story of the Flux Capacitor, even to Old Man Peabody’s pine trees…everything that comes into play finds a way to come in to play again to service the story. The guy says that he though every line “felt like homework,” I say this is a movie that rewards you for paying attention and doesn’t waste your time with an interminably long pod race.

Criticism #2: Micheal J. Fox is wrong for the role of Marty because He’s not a “rocker”
Again one of the boys over there at Now Playing contend that Michael J. Fox was miscast because Marty is supposed to be a “rocker” and Michael J. Fox is clearly not that. No, sir! Marty is every dork who WANTED to be a rock star. He’s the identifiable guy trying to raise his station in life. That’s why we root for him. “You go boy, you do what I can’t do and sit at the cool kids table.” You know who was miscast? Hayden Christensen as Anakyn Skywalker. (Two! Two prequel bashes…ha ha ha!!!)

Criticism #3: The DeLorean suddenly stalls out at the end
Just before the climactic lightning bolt/clock tower scene, the DeLorean stalls out and Marty can’t get it started. The question is posed, “when did the DeLorean start having engine problems?” He contends it’s never set up in tn the movie before that point. It IS set up when Marty first arrives in the 50′s. After Marty escapes the Peabody’s Farm, the car stalls out and Marty can’t get it started again which is why he has to hide it.

Criticism #4: Marty “forgetting” about what 88mph means/being too confused about being in the 50′s
When Marty first travels through time, he’s in the DeLorean being chased by terrorists (Aw crap! Now this blog just got flagged…everyone wave hi to the NSA. Sorry to waste your time, fellas. You’re doing a great job keeping us safe, though. Keep at it.). So at one point he says, “Let’s see if you bastards can do 90,” and one of the Now Playing guys thought it was inconceivable that he’d forgotten what happens at 88. Well, first of all let’s see what kind of details you recall when there’s a bazooka pointed at you after you’ve just watched your friend die. Secondly, he didn’t even know the time circuits were on. There is a shot where he’s shifting the car and his arm bumps the time circuits and turns them on. He is probably quite surprised when he ends up in 1955.

And as to the point of it being unrealistic that he was so confused about being there. How can the human brain have ANY reference for traveling through time? That’s like if you woke up tomorrow and everything in your town was different and you were the only one who knew…that would mess with your head.

Criticism #5: The movie doesn’t get good until we get to the 50′s
I’m sorry…this movie is good start to finish. The long opening shot in Doc’s lab, the band audition, the reveal of the DeLorean…all great, compelling stuff. Not to mention the race to save Doc’s life. I wholeheartedly disagree with the guy who said that you didn’t care what happened to Doc it was just “plot inertia” at the end of the film. I care for many reasons not the least of which being that you can clearly see that Marty cares.

Criticism #6: Earth Angel/Johnny B. Goode wasn’t necessary

Are you kidding? Of course it was necessary! Would everything that happened between George, Lorraine, and random raid haired bully who shows up have gone down the same way without Marty there? No. As Marty says, “If there’s no music, they can’t dance. If they can’t dance, the can’t kiss. If they don’t kiss, they can’t fall in love.” It pays of Loraine’s line in the beginning that kissing George on the dance floor was when she knew she wanted to marry him. PLUS it pays off Marty’s line where he laments that he’s “never gonna get a chance to play in front of anybody.” Marty finally gets to play the dance that his band was rejected from at the beginning of the movie. Marty completes his arc and at the same time resolves the love story in the movie. More of that great screen writing.

Criticism #7: Geroge McFly can’t be a successful author if we see his first book being published in 1985
I will admit to having this same thought as a kid, but if you actually pay attention, at the end of the movie when Biff brings George McFly’s book into the house, Loraine doesn’t say it’s his first “book” she says its his first “novel.” So it is conceivable that George has been writing non-fiction and/or short stories up to this point. He could have been writing self help books. He had a profound change of life experience. I could see a creative mind spinning that into a book teaching others how to shape their lives. Also, maybe the reason they are still in the same house is that they aren’t rich yet. If this is George’s first novel, maybe the big bucks are just about to start rolling in (hence the gift of a truck to their baby boy). So he’s been getting work as an author to this point, but now he’s getting his big pay day.

Criticism #8: Christopher Lloyd is a bad/over the top actor
Having not seen much of Lloyd’s work outside of Back to The Future, Star Trek III, and Angels in the Outfield (look for me in the stands), I can’t speak to him as an actor in general…but he is magnificent in this film. Sure he plays it broad a lot but there are quite a few soft moments that really drive home the friendship between Doc and Marty. I will grant that it’s never explained WHY they’re friends, but it’s clear they are good friends.

Criticism #9: Lea Thompson/Thomas F. Wilson are not as good in their 80′s incarnations
This couldn’t be more wrong. They both play middle aged so well. Lea especially has a great contrast between her character at the beginning of the movie, her character in the 50′s, and the altered version of her character at the end of the film. I liken it to Christopher Reeve’s Clark/Superman, so many great, perceivable, constructive differences in the characterization. I mean obviously she’s going to nail the younger version of Lorraine (come to think of it, I’d like to nail the younger version of Lorraine…hey-o!) but to pull of that repressed, broken, alcoholic housewife AND that total 80′s MILF…very impressive. I was similarly impressed with Tom Wilson’s Biff. He wasn’t quite to the same level as Thomson but he did a praise worthy job as well. Plus he signed my copy of the Back To the Future soundtrack and is a stand-up comic like me:

Okay he plays the guitar and headlines where ever he goes…but other than that, we’re basically the same.

Ok…that’s all I wrote down. I’m sure there were more criticisms of the film but this blog is long enough as it is. Also to be fair to the Now Playing guys, one of the three seemed to be a huge fan of the film and did a good job singing its praises and defending it. Also the guy who leveled a lot of these criticisms admitted that this was a good movie and he was just being “nit picky.” I can relate to that as a Star Trek fan who loves to take the piss out of Star Trek, but I feel like it comes from a place of love when I do it. On this show, it felt like the dude had genuine problems with the movie and only begrudgingly liked it. So I just wanted to come to this poor movie’s defense. BTTF is my BFF!

But I really have to say thank you to the Now Playing folks, for prompting me to think about this ol’ film and revel in all the things I enjoy about it.

Back to the Future is a classic piece of 80′s cinema. The sequels aren’t bad either, despite what those hammer heads at the Now Playing Podcast say. But the sequels don’t actually exist, because there is a sequel that we never saw…because it would be too depressing…I’m talking about “Back to the Future Part 1.5.” To set this up, we have to go back to the first movie…

Not as much Huey Lewis and antics this time

I’m sure most of you have seen the movie, but just to hit the important points: Marty McFly (Michael J. Fox…duh) is a high school student who’s parents (Lorraine and George) are in a sad, depressing state and he gets shot back in time and interferes with his parents meeting each other. Marty then has to intervene to make sure his parents meet and fall in love or else he’ll never be born. In intervening, he changes the nature of his parents’ relationship and ends up fundamentally altering his father’s personality. So when Marty returns to the future he finds that his parents are happier, healthier (and since it was the 80′s, wealthier) human beings and that life is a great deal sweeter than it used to be.

Pictured: Success in the 80′s

Well that’s all well and good but let’s take a half step back to where Marty arrives back in 1985. He shows up at the Lone Pine Mall in time to see his past self jump in to the time machine and head back to 1955. Except that’s not really his past self. The Marty at the end of the movie (Who we’ll call Marty II from now on) didn’t live the same life as Marty. Marty II grew up in this sweet life with these happy, successful parents. He’s never heard the story about how Loraine’s dad hit George with his car and they fell in love. Marty II has only heard the story where Biff tried to rape his mom (yipes!) and George came in and knocked him out with one punch. So when Marty II goes back in time, he’s going to be more than a little shocked to see George as the whimpering coward he was in 1955. Not to mention that when Marty II gets hit by the car and he wakes up in Lorraine’s room with her fawning all over him, he’s not going to have any reference for that.

“This is NOT what I meant by ‘MILF’”

So in the first movie Marty knew that he had messed up the George getting hit by the car thing so he came up with a plan to get George and Lorraine together at the dance by creating a situation where George would have to defend Lorraine’s honor. But in Back to the Future Part 1.5, Marty II doesn’t think he’s interfered yet. He probably still thinks Biff is going to try and rape his mom at the dance. And until that night doesn’t happen the way it did in the first movie, history hasn’t been altered and the photo wouldn’t start to erase itself. So Doc and Marty II would just chill at Doc’s place for a week.

“We’re gonna get this helmet to work it it takes all week”

So Marty II wouldn’t befriend his father, he wouldn’t end up taking Lorraine to the dance, Biff wouldn’t yank him out of the car and go after Lorraine, and George wouldn’t show up to stop Marty only to find Biff. But the lightning bolt and the clock tower are still on schedule. So Marty II still has to leave the night of the dance…the point in time in which history HAS changed and THEN the photo will start changing. But he will be too busy getting the DeLorean up to 88 in perfect time to hit the wire.

“That’s weird, I never noticed Dave’s hair was cut off in this picture”

Unfortunately, Marty II will arrive in a 1985 where he was never born. George will never have sacked up to confront Biff and Lorraine still will have no idea who George is. So they will never get married, they will never have Marty II, and Marty II can never go back in time and push George out of the way of that car…which will mean they do get married and they have Marty who goes back in time and changes history, and then results in another Marty II who doesn’t, which results in a Marty who does, which results in a Marty who doesn’t, which results in the unraveling of the very fabric of the space time continuum and the destruction of the entire universe.

Now we’ll NEVER see the hoverboards

Nice job, Marty…you’ve killed us all.

In 1984, the final Muppet movie to feature Jim Henson was released. It was called “The Muppets Take Manhattan.” The story follows everyone’s favorite felt family as they go from college to New York to try and sell their play, “Manhattan Melodies” on Broadway (It is never explained how or why they write a play about Manhattan without ever stepping foot in New York…or how it could possibly be good, but more on that later). Since Broadway had a shortage of kiddie themed shows at the time (this was pre-Lion King or Beauty and The Beast), Kermit is able to sell the show.

“Yeah I just sold the show. What could go wrong?”

Unfortunately, right after Kermit sells the show he goes missing when he gets hit by a taxi and develops amnesia (which is much better outcome than what happens to MOST frogs when they get hit by cars). The rest of the cast and crew spend two weeks prepping the show and looking for Kermit. Finally it is opening night and Kermit (still with amnesia) somehow finds himself backstage at the show just before curtain time. Miss Piggy gives him a good karate chop and his memories come back (because that’s how that would work).

Still better medicine than Kaiser.

So they catch Kermit up on the fact that it’s opening night and it’s time to start the show. Kermit is hesitant because he says there’s still something “missing” form the show (oh…he’s been saying that the whole movie…did I forget to mention that? Ah well) They convince Kermit to go on anyway and on the way to the stage they pass a bunch of random Muppets (frogs, bears, chickens, etc) and Fozzie asks if they can watch the show from backstage and Kermit decided THAT is what has been missing, “More frogs, and dogs and bears..and whatever! You’re not gonna watch the show, you’re gonna be IN the show.” …and that brings me to the point of this blog.

“C’mon gang. You’re going to help tear open a plot hole! Yaaaay!!!

How in the world did Kermit re-work the script and give it to these new “actors” in time for them to learn their parts?! I mean Kermit makes this call LITERALLY on his way to the stage…seconds before the opening number! Then the open number is maybe 15 seconds long and BOOM…all these people who had no idea they were going to be in a play a minute ago are all of a sudden in costumes and singing and dancing like they’d been planning this for years.

“I can see how we planned this in less than a minute.”

And they have all these elaborate props and moving scenery…where did that come from? None of the original cast is in the second number? Did they have all that laying around? If so, this could perhaps be the best improv troupe EVER!

“Hey you use that cut out of a bus, I’m going to dress like a police officer and direct traffic.”

“we’re gonna put on these construction hats and put up this ‘Dogs At Work’ sign”

“Wow…lucky they were expecting some talking/singing dogs to come by the theater.”

“Every theater has this stuff, right?”

Then we jump to the finale, the wedding of Kermit and Piggy in a huge church set. No wonder Kermit thought something was missing. If it hadn’t been for all of those extra “actors” most of that church would be empty. That’s just poor set design. Why design a church that seats hundreds if your play has 11 actors in it? No wonder Broadway tickets are so expensive. Wasteful…just wasteful. Thank goodness Kermit was able to make that work with only a few moments of rational thought.

How are Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem in the second row on the left if they are in the orchestra pit playing the music?

But lets put all that aside for a second. It’s a good thing that the film ends immediately after the play’s finale so we don’t see the audience riot and the Muppets get run out of town on a rail. From curtain up to the end of the play, Manhattan Melodies is 7 minutes and 32 seconds long. I know some guys out there have wished that Broadway musicals were that short…but it is not the case. Most Broadway shows are longer than the entire Muppets Take Manhattan movie.

Look out behind you , green guy…they’re coming with pitch forks!

But we’ll set length aside for a second as well…let’s focus on the “plot” of Manhattan Melodies. The play starts with a bunch of animals singing about how it’s great to be “together again.” Okay…but who are you and why weren’t you together before this? Do we get to find out? Nope! When the number ends they all disappear to reveal a busy Manhattan street where there is a breaking front page news story. What is that story? “Somebody’s Getting Married.”

I guess crime was on vacation that day

Yes, it is the slowest news day in the history of Manhattan…and perhaps the world. The entire city seems to be a buzz with the news that somebody’s getting married. Now I could see if a pig and a frog were getting married that it might make a few heads turn, but they don’t say that…they just repeat “somebody.” It’s almost as though the identity of the soon-to-be married couple is a mystery. But then the play takes a dramatic turn when…they get married. That’s it. Curtain down. Thanks for coming. Drive safe. Man, if you thought Mama Mia wasn’t compelling, you are gonna gouge your eyes out at this “story.”

“You were right…I would have rather watched Legally Blonde”

So I guess after this, the show closes. Which I guess is good since most of those extra “actors” wouldn’t necessarily be available for an extended run. So that would have been awkward. But hey…at least they lived their dream and performed on Broadway…for one night.

Despite all this…Muppets Take Manhattan is STILL my favorite Muppet movie! Thus proving something doesn’t have to make sense to be awesome!

First off…sorry folks this week’s episode is a ways off I am busy and a little sick and the former is making the latter worse. I swear it will be worth the wait. (I’m quite proud of Noah and Andy on this week’s show)

But last night was Oscar night!!! As your intrepid Hollywood reported (who just drove by the Kodak Theater moments ago…several sloooooow moving moments ago), I know you give a shit what I thought. So here goes…

Actually I’m amazed that I HAVE an opinion! I haven’t seen most of the nominated films (Hence I was rooting for “Up”). For some reason I was rooting against Avatar. I dunno why. I haven’t seen it. Kevin Smith seemed to like it. Andy and Noah seemed to have at least enjoyed it. Part of is it that I don’t like James Cameron. Anyone who breaks it off with Sarah Connor is an idiot of the highest sort. Then, I guess, part of it is the hype. I was over this movie before it came out. I was just inundated with how this movie was going to “change movies forever.” Then the previews looked not as good as the average Pixar movie.

And Sandra Bullock…hell yes! Winning a Razzie and an Oscar in the same year. The first actor to do it. I just have always liked her since she ran over the baby carriage in Speed. I haven’t seen the movie she won for…and there’s no guarantee that I ever will. But, you go Sandra!!! Hell yeah!

I won’t go through the rest of the catagorys but I will say that Star Trek is officially an “Academy Award winning movie!” w00t! Suck it, Transformers!

Also people have been complaining on Twitter that Michael Jackson was mentioned in the look back at people who died in 2009, but Farrah Fawcett wasn’t. Ok…I get with you being hurt with them leaving Farrah out…she wasn’t a “movie star,” she was a television actress for the most part, but she DID do some movies. But I’m not down with these people who are saying Michael didn’t belong on that real. He has contributed to film in a number of ways. Aside from playing one of the leads in the Wiz, he had a small part in Men in Black 2, he performed the themes to Free Willy, Free Willy 2 and the immortal “Ben.” Not to mention that his music videos were considered to be “short films” by many. Just look at the talent he had behind the camera: John Landis, Martin Scorcesse, John Singleton, and OF course George Lucas and Francs Ford Copilla for a little 3D adventure playing in Disneyland RIGHT NOW! I for one was glad they gave Michael a brief mention. But I AM sorry they skipped Farrah…and also Wayne Alwyne (The voice of Mickey Mouse) May all or lost favorites rest in peace and may we carry our love for there work with us no matter who is a fuck stick and tries to ignore/shit on them.

…ok…no time to spell check this train wreck. I gotta go. Kisses!!!

Even the trailer is horrible! I know we complain a lot that the trailer “shows the whole movie,” but this one totally did. Step by step to what is assuredly the ending! It is obvious to anyone who has ever seen a movie before that she will accept her boyfriend’s proposal, then break it off at the last second to get together with the douche who drove her across Europe for the sole purpose of proposing to her boyfriend.

This is an annoying staple of these “chick flicks” the girl is with a guy but then breaks it off at the last second to be with some other guy. (Sleepless in Seattle, Sweet Home Alabama, Runaway Bride, Titanic, the Wedding Planner, the Wedding Singer, etc). I love this message. “Hey ladies, no matter how close you are to marriage, feel free to ditch the guy who loves you and has been with you all this time at the last second because you met a new guy.”

Kill yourself, Hollywood!

I have recently gone to the theater to see “Michael Jackson’s This Is It.” It was a great movie. Not in the way that Casablanca was a great movie, but in the way that it was a chance to spend a final 2 hours with MJ watching him do what he did best: sing and dance.

I don’t think there’s another artist alive or dead that I would sit down and watch almost 2 hours of them. Not to take anything away from the Beatles or Elvis or Sinatra, but after a couple songs, I’m full. But this movie could have gone on longer and I would have still been on board.

What’s great is it doesn’t try to be super over emotional/sentimental like “he’s dead and you should be sad.” It just shows the footage of him going through the songs that you loved. Seeing him tweaking things and planning. I thought it was very interesting and also a chance to watch him perform one last time.

It is a shame that the This Is It tour will never happen. He/they put a lot into that show. It’s not like he was just gonna put on his glove and fedora and moonwalk for a few songs and collect a check…he was putting on A SHOW!!! Cirque du MJ, if you will.

And that leads me to my “Tough Decision.” Last year it was rumored that the reason the Las Vegas Hilton removed the Star Trek Experience was to make room for a Michal Jackson stage. At the time, I was quite irritated about this (as long time listeners of the show are probably already aware).

But as I sat there and watched the fantastic things that they were creating to augment the talent of Michael, I am forced to reconcile whether it was a worthy replacement to the Star Trek Experience. I would have loved to have seen that show. It MIGHT have been worth giving up The Experience to see.

…sadly. Now I get neither.

Yes, I socked myself in the right nut and then backdated this post to Sunday.

I finally watched Beowulf with the wife last night. In short, my impression was: Gaimam is a talented writer (and I guess so is Avery), Zemeckis still has a hard-on for creepy CGI, and I feel like I’ve seen parts of this someplace else.

The underlying idea Gaiman and Avery set up is that the epic poem is the product of an unreliable narrator. A proud, boastful warrior has sold history his own biography as tall tale, and his loyal friend/kinsman can’t bear to see past the myth to the flawed man beneath. This idea that the poem I read 15 or so years ago was a snow job was compelling, and the writers used it as a fulcrum to shift the entire story away from having a one-dimensional hero kill a few zero-dimensional enemies/monsters. Instead they offer up a story of human vices and shortcomings, temptations and regrets, and heroic deeds born of pride and shame.

The technical execution was, to my taste, a little less excellent. While Beowulf’s eyes weren’t as death-thing-creepy as the passengers on The Polar Express, computer-generated humans still have the waxy, bouncy look of corpses on wires. Mocap has come a long way, but you can still see Pinocchio’s strings. The fire effects looked great, but the generous quantities of moving, splashing, foaming water looked like a cross between mercury and sand. I know the water-air boundary is hard to model, but it’s the director’s responsibility to choose shots that downplay any technical deficiencies. In fairness, I’m not sure this movie could have been made live action without thousands of effects shots and double the budget, and Robert Zemeckis deserves some credit for pushing the state of the art forward every time he does one of these all-CGI extravaganzas.

The artistic execution was a mixed bag. The cast turned in some excellent performances, for the most part, with Brendan Gleeson, Crispin Glover, and Anthony Hopkins standing out especially. On the other hand, like many epic or period pieces before it the accents somehow devolved into “pick your own British-ish delivery and try to stick with it”. Hearing John Malkovich’s unique drawl and Anthony Hopkins’ Welsh (I think) accent when both were supposed to be Danes, or Ray Winstone’s Cockney (again, I think) and Brendan Gleeson’s Irish accents when they played related Geats was just distracting. At least Alexander, for all its flaws, stuck to Irish accents for all the Macedonians and more posh British accents for the Greeks.

Parts of the movie were touching, parts were exciting, parts were distracting, and a few action scenes seemed really familiar.

I’d do the movie a disservice if I leave you with the impression that 300 fucked God of War and had a Beowulf. It wasn’t great, but some of it was excellent and the whole was at least good.

I’d watch it again some time. Y’know… If I run out of porn or something.

Trek haters be warned…thar’ be Trek a’comin’!

During the 5th season of Star Trek: The Next Generation there was an episode entitles “The Inner Light.” If you’re even a casual fan of the show, you probably know it. The episode won a Hugo Award, was nominated for an Emmy, and is consistently among the highest rated episodes in all of Star Trek.

It’s also one of my favorite episodes of Trek. It was recently on WGN so I made sure to save it on the DVR. I’ll describe the episode as briefly as I can. Captain Picard and the usual crew are on the bridge when a strange probe floats by. All of a sudden the probe sends out some beam and Picard falls down unconscious. When he wakes up, he’s on strange planet and everyone is calling him “Kamin.” He lives out a full lifetime on that planet in the span of 25 minutes. To summarize the plot more than this does the episode a huge disservice. You really should watch it, even if you’re not a fan of the Trek (hence I have saved it to watch with my wife) “The Inner Light” represents so much about what I like about Star Trek, yet is really an atypical episode.

There is no “villain” in the episode. No hostile alien attacking (Unless you count the probe attaching to Picard as an “attack.”) Most of the regular crew are barely in the episode…in fact Troi makes no appearance at all. There isn’t a great load of technical babble like there is in many episodes. There is a little to set up the premise of Picard’s predicament, but mostly it’s just Picard living a life on a drought plagued planet.

But what it does manage to do is deliver some great character moments. Despite all the rockets and lasers, Star Trek’s appeal has always been it’s great characters. And they manage to get some great drama out of this whole new set of characters that you didn’t know 30 minutes ago, but they tug violently at your heart strings for the bitter sweet finale of the episode. Plus it’s just such an interesting concept. What if you fell asleep tonight and then spent what seemed like 40 years living another life? …but then when you wake up…and you’re back in your bed…only one night had passed. How do you go back to your life after you’ve spent what seemed like 4 decades being somewhere else and someone else? Or imagine if you woke up tomorrow and all the experiences you’ve had up until now weren’t “real.” You had to go back to a whole other life that you’d forgotten about. Doesn’t that set our imagination on fire?!

To top it off, there is a haunting melody that Picard learns to play on a special flute. Which Picard plays as the show fades to credits. It is one of those songs that runs around in your head long after the tv is off, stirring up emotions as it goes. It was good enough to be fleshed out into a full orchestrated piece for Star Trek’s 30th anniversary and you can hear it in my Star Trek themed Kingdom Comedy.

I know I’m not the first to write about this episode, nor have I probably even come close to breaking new ground in my “analysis,” but I felt I should throw my two cents about this episode. It is a great episode of television that not only entertains but truly makes you feel something. It’s a shame some people will never see it because they don’t watch “that nerdy Star Trek crap.”

Just getting this one in under the wire. (It’s 11:30pm on the west coast, baby!) I’ve been at Disneyland with my mom all day. Plus today was the Mousetalgia meet up at the park and it was fun to meet a bunch of the listeners and it’s so fun to hang with the Mousetalgia gang (No word on whether Kristen can be tricked…I mean…convinced into coming on TANcast)

But…the point of the blog is a t-shirt I saw at one of the Disneyland stores.

WOW! Mickey is PISSED! What movie cold Minnie possibly have dragged him to do get him THAT cheesed off?! (Oh yeah, that pun was intentional) There don’t seem to be any clues in the t-shirt’s design so I’ve come up with the five possibilities. So here are the top 5 movies that would tick Mickey Mouse off…

5) Mousehunt
(for obvious reasons)
4) Space Jam
(“You’re taking me to see a Bugs Bunny movie?! Why not take Bill Gates to the AppleStore?!”)
3) Divine Secrets of the Ya Ya Sisterhood
(Because above all, Mickey is a MAN)
2) Ghost Rider/Fantastic Four/Daredevil/The Punisher (tie)
(“I know what we bought…I don’t need to be reminded”)
1) Transformers
(“Minnie, after 81 years, we are done…DONE! Catch a cab, you’re not riding home with me!”)

My friend and fellow comic Elizabeth Saas has recently embroiled me in a debate over which Indiana Jones movie sucked the most: Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom or Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull?

You can see her MySpace blog about it here (Along with my comment) http://blogs.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendId=204983251&blogId=503132614

But I want to know YOUR opinion so vote in our poll and leave us a comment on this blog. Which do you think was the worst?

(I included Raiders and Last Crusade in the poll just so I could weed out the peopel who have NO IDEA what they’re talking about)

Well, I’ve recently returned from JJ Abram’s new Star Trek flick and I enjoyed the movie. I want to say that first. It was fun and a good flick.

However, when I walked out of the movie with my wife, I didn’t have the same feeling I had walking out of First Contact with another lady many years ago…the feeling of “See?! THAT’S Why I love Star Trek!”

This movie was enjoyable and had lots of great Trek moments, but it didn’t feel like the Star Trek I loved. And I don’t mean that in a bad way like “They ruined it!” Not at all. It was just…different. If felt like a band I didn’t know doing a cover of one of my favorite songs…I recognized the tune, but it doesn’t have the same impact as the original.

As I feel myself geeking out and getting overly defensive of a film/tv franchise that really has nothing to do with me – I find myself asking, “Why do I like Star Trek so much?”

I’m not one of these people who is all gung ho about the “vision of the future where humanity has evolved beyond greed and hunger.” I mean that’s nice and all, but that’s not really what keeps me coming back for series after series and movie after movie. Obviously the outer space element appeals to the little kid in me, but there are tons of space related movies and television that I couldn’t give a crap about (I have yet to watch a single episode of Battlestar Galactica…old school or the new ones…deal with it, nerds!)

The characters are always great. I think they might just have been lucky to come up with the Kirk/Spock/McCoy dynamic and then again with Picard/Data/Worf.

But there is some x factor about trek That even has me watching Voyager and Enterprise. I even purchased “Star Trek: Nemesis” (Which I watch far more often than a sane man should)

There is a reason I spent 10 solid hours at Star Trek the Experience or plopped down $40 to see Star Trek: The Tour. These stories have a magic to them…a charm that transcends rockets and robots and is just engaging. This movie,, while technically good at every turn…somehow lost that x factor.

I guess because since everyone was determined t “do their own thing” with the characters…I felt like I wasn’t watching MY Jim Kirk…I was watching A Jim Kirk…so I wasn’t as attached to him.

But all in all, I can’t REALLY complain. I had a good time at the theater, several stations are running Star Trek: TNG to hop on board the hype machine. Trek is back in a big way…and so for that I am thankful.

(But would it have killed them to use the Alexander Courage music a little more? …ok..I’m done geek griping…for now)

By the movie above, Burn After Reading, has David Rasche of Sledge Hammer! fame. You know the awesome 80′s show with the police detective that sleeps with his gun on the pillow next to him. Man I love that show.

Here are the details so that you can see if it appeals to you, by which I mean:

YOU MUST JOIN OR YOUR SOUL WILL ROT AWAY !!!

As you can see from the post title, the religion is called “Jonesology”. We Jonesologists fervently adhere to the teachings of His Highest Holiness, Indiana the Second.

Some refer to our savior as “Henry the Second”, but these blasphemers do not understand the complex emotions of our Lord and how he loathes this appellation.  From the scripture it is clear that the cold, brilliant star that fathered him, Henry the First, is the only being who may call him by this epithet. Indiana the First was a false messiah, extolling the virtues of kibble and chasing rabbits across Utah, and we will not speak of him further.

There are three major scriptures and an apocrypha made up of 4 larger and 28 minor works which tell tales of our Lord in his youth. A fourth, possibly the final, scripture was foretold a generation ago and is finally to be revealed unto the faithful a scant 10 days hence.

This newest testament must be received by true believers wearing the Traditional Kilt. Knee socks are optional, but The Kilt is crucial.  No one is sure why, but we have it on good authority. Before the worship service begins (and buy your tickets early; it is expected to sell well!), a traditional meal of Taco Bell should be consumed to purify the bowels and prepare the heart for a clotting of pure joy.

Intolerance of those wearing The Kilt marks you as a heretic, which is a fate typically reserved for those who think Temple of Doom was the best of the accepted scriptures, and will call down a holy war upon your head.  Be warned, as we Jonesologists battle only with water balloons (in honor of His Holiness’ flexibility under pressure), but fill them with Jell-O (because Jell-O is freaking delicious) instead of water, denying our enemies precious water which they might use to spit upon us.

As a heretic, unfortunately, you will only be worthy of sugar-free grape-flavor Jell-O with banana slices and pear chunks mixed in.  I’m sorry.

If you are branded a heretic, take heart: You probably won’t have trouble avoiding the attacks as they can only take place, like His Holiness’ adventures, during summer break, and kilt-wearers holding purple water balloons and trying to scream the Hymn of John Williams without passing out in the heat are hard to overlook.  We are forbidden to commence attack until the full hymn is sung, or else the Blessed Ford will make “Firewall 2” and the world will eat itself.

On a wholly unrelated topic, our holy wars never seem to turn out how we’d like.  We blame the Quartermainiacs.

In point of fact, the US Census Bureau does not list any practicing Jonesologists in the greater Atlanta metro area (as of 2000), so I may be the only practitioner.  This will probably make the prospects of committing such heresy a little less frightening to you if you live in Georgia, but we can’t have everything, can we.